Motley Moose – Archive

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Barack Obama has endorsed the Motley Moose as the most awesomest blog in the universe !!11!!1!!!

Magic he says! He wants his children and his children’s children to read it!

WOW!

Don’t believe me?

Here’s the quote!

. . . and then suddenly coming across just a herd  of elk wandering through, or seeing a moose peering out of the woods, out of the marshes: It was magic.

And so I want to make sure that not  only can my daughters see this, I want to make sure that their daughters and their sons can see that, as well.

http://www.fieldandstream.com/…

What?

You think I’m taking his words out of context?

Heh.

Seriously though.

I’ll be on later tonight. It’s a warm up party to follow up on the excellent Open Moose my buddy Stipes cooked up last week. Get people in the mood for some serious blogosphere debauchery. I’ve read snips and pieces of it and I laughed my ass off. It looked like a great time and I’m sorry I missed it ( hey! Student Guy is back! ALLRIGHT!) . I might not be able to make it tomorrow so I’ll be around later ( 7:00 – 7:30ish) and would love to catch up and have a good laugh with my Moose family.

I got my stash and my pipe and I’m ready to let loose.

Gotta run and do some things. I’m taking a well deserved break from the real world tonight.

Hope you can join me later!

Missed you guys!

Thanks for everything!

There’s nothing like a long road trip for allowing time to think. Many, if not most, of the thoughts are silly or nonsensical. However, some seem worth sharing.

Pre-trip thought: God, I love Google Maps.

9:30 pm – 1 am CST

The trip from Memphis, Tennessee to Genesee county Michigan is 800 miles. The first portion runs east on I-40 from Memphis to Nashville. This leg of the trip is a little over 200 miles. It seems longer. I came to the conclusion that it feels longer, because it is running east instead of north. It doesn’t feel like the trip back to Michigan begins until you get to Nashville. No wonder it seems so long.

Another thought that came to me through this stretch is that Tennessee is a beautiful state with more than its share of bigots and small-minded people. The Tennessee Republican Party gives the Texas Republican Party a close race for the most offensive state political party in the country.

Welcome to the Inaugural Friday Night Open Moose!

This is the ultimate open thread, so beware.  This is a “serious politics” free zone, so bring your biting humor, and your body armor.

Tonight’s topic is, naturally, the iconic nature of the Moose.  Feel free to post your favorite pics and stories.

And remember, Sarah, in this place, the Moose fight back!

Howdy Folks, and Welcome to the Motley Moose Lounge!

Wanna blow off some steam?  

Crack a few one liners?  

Cuss up a storm?

You’ve found the right place.  Don’t miss the inaugural Friday night “Open Moose,” starting at 7pm EDT tonight.

Just remember…we don’t do straight politics here.  

Bring your chops, your jokes, and your sense of humor…clothing is optional, as always.

Cheers, and see you tonight!

-Stipes!

Bumped from One of the Original Launch Diaries

In the 1958 class the US Naval Academy, John McCain graduated 894th out of 899

Much has been talked about, with respect to John McCain’s time at the Naval Academy.  As someone who also went there, I want to express my deep admiration for John McCain’s accomplishment of graduating 6th from the bottom.

In 1988, I graduated from the United States Naval Academy, exactly 30 years after John McCain.  In my graduating class of around 1100, I graduated dead in the middle, in the low 500s.  By all measures, I was an average Midshipman.

How was my class rank calculated, and why did class rank matter?

Class rank is a combination of several factors:

1. Academic Performance

2. Professional Performance

3. Leadership Performance

There may be several more factors, and they may have changed since I graduated 20 years ago, but those should still be the major areas that are used to calculate class rank.

Why does rank matter?  

Because it determines what you get to pick for a job when you graduate.

What’s the most sought after job?

Naval Aviator.

Well…it was bound to happen.  

The Palin pick has changed everything…with DittoHeads.

I had an interesting encounter yesterday with a colleague, who is in fact, a raging Dittohead.  I knew that he listened to right-weird radio, (here in Portland, we get our Lars Larson and Bill-O on 750am), but I didn’t think he was delusional.  

For the most part, he appears normal…he comes to work clean every morning, with his hair combed and his underwear on the inside.  This would tend to eliminate him as a “Standard Issue” DittoHead, so I never had any real concerns for his sanity.

The Palin pick has changed everything…with how I view HIM.  

Let’s be serious for a moment.

(Crossposted at MyDD)

What is John McCain’s path to victory?  Does he even have one?  If you look at Pollster.com’s state of the race, you’ll see that the numbers currently stand at 260 EVs for Obama, 179 for McCain, and 99 tossup.  In order to win the election, a candidate must have at least 270 electoral votes.  In other words, out of the 99 tossup EVs, Obama needs 10, while McCain needs 91.

It isn’t completely hopeless for John McCain, though.  Let’s examine how he might win this election.

Dear, dear God,

I know that I was just the itsy bitsyist upset with you in the letter I wrote you the other day, but Praise Be, You do know best! I now realize that this little hurricane might just be the best darn thing that ever happened to the God Fearing Republican Party this year.

While I am so disappointed not to see President Bush and Vice President Cheny at our convention in person this week, (I do understand that these good men are not well thought of in our nation right now). I just know they will both be seen as heroes in the future, as we know that even Jesus was scorned in his time. So I understand that we really dodged the bird doo doo here, because he needs to help out THOSE pitiful people in the Gulf, from the safety of Texas of course.  

Dear God,

I know that America is your favorite and that you have been angry with us. I know that you were smiting the United States of America for it’s perversions, when those Ayrabs flew those planes into the twin towers, and I know you took your vengeance upon New Orleans and America with Katrina, because of the queers and feminists and liberals. And Dear God I know you sent us George Walker Bush to save us from those Godless terrorists, and that you told John McCain to choose a good woman like Mrs Palin for his VP. (BTW, I was getting a little worried about John, but now I feel so much better.)

I know all of my friends and I are really excited about the God Fearing Republican Party again and am so looking forward to the Republican Convention in Minnesota this week.

Cross posted at MyDD

Dan Quayle, met Sarah Palin.  Sarah Palin, met 1988.

This pick is a disaster in many ways.  I find that it is my civil duty to list them, so here goes:

1.  McCain experience attack meme?  Dead.  She has 19 months experience as the Governor of Alaska.  Otherwise, she was mayor of a small town, and a Beauty Queen, (love those pics, BTW).  She is now a heartbeat away from running the country.  How comforting.

2. Bush/Cheney big oil?  She’s so deeply immersed in big oil, it makes Cheney look like Al Gore.  No maverick environmentalist here.  Alternative energy?  No!  Let’s fucking drill some more, and some more, and some more.