I know that America is your favorite and that you have been angry with us. I know that you were smiting the United States of America for it’s perversions, when those Ayrabs flew those planes into the twin towers, and I know you took your vengeance upon New Orleans and America with Katrina, because of the queers and feminists and liberals. And Dear God I know you sent us George Walker Bush to save us from those Godless terrorists, and that you told John McCain to choose a good woman like Mrs Palin for his VP. (BTW, I was getting a little worried about John, but now I feel so much better.)
I know all of my friends and I are really excited about the God Fearing Republican Party again and am so looking forward to the Republican Convention in Minnesota this week.
But God, you know I am not one to complain or anything, but I went to Denver a couple of weeks ago with a friend and asked you for something;
Now, I am not angry or anything, but did it have to be such a perfect day and evening?
Well, you know best. But God, I am getting really worried today. I see another great big hurricane is bearing down on the gulf again. And, well, they are saying it might hit New Oleans again. Now don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t give a kittens whiskers about THOSE people, but I am nervous about the timing.
Goodness gracious, they are even talking about delaying the party next week or turning it into some sort of community service event. Well, I am a republican for a reason, I only do charity for worthy folks. Now we have reservations, and do you actually think they will give us a refund at this point? What I really mean to say God, is that this kind of makes us look bad. Why bring up painful memories?
Sorry this is pretty sick. It is inspired by an actual conversation I had with someone yesterday. She might not have been quite this bad, but damn close. These are the ones that are beyond help.