Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Death penalty – for or against, and why?

Do you have any idea what frankincense and myrrh are? Would you be pleased by such a gift?

What is the longest flight you were ever on? How was it?

The Twitter Emitter

Some of you say, "Math is a universal language." Others say, "Maths is a universal language." See, right there: not a universal language.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 3, 2014

SOURCES: Washington Post hoping to convince @EzraKlein to stay at paper with free Amazon Prime membership

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 3, 2014

Yes, a blizzard means there's no global warming, just like one honest politician means there's no government corruption.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) January 3, 2014

Today in 2010, Alabama rejected same-sex marriage, but continued to recognize same-family marriage.

— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) January 3, 2014

M.H Perry makes a stupid joke about Romney' Grandchild, She must be fired. Michael Scheuer says Obama should be killed, Goes on Fox news.

— steve trojanoski (@troj21) January 4, 2014

Some say "feed a fever, starve a cold," and some say it's the other way around, but I say feed them both and let God sort them out.

— John Scalzi (@scalzi) January 4, 2014

BAD NEWS: Those jeans make you look fat. GOOD NEWS: You make those jeans look skinny.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) January 5, 2014

Remember, the #GOP has no problem with "redistribution" as long as it's flowing upward. #P2 #UniteBlue http://t.co/0yJmwYQKkQ

— F. Grey Parker (@greyparker) January 5, 2014

Me: I think I’ll use whole wheat flour… All the pantry pests in the world: OH HEY WAT DO? Me: So I’m going to use all-purpose flour…

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) January 5, 2014

Ben Carson says legal marijuana use will lead to hedonism. I suppose drinking alcohol is a form of stoicism?

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) January 5, 2014

  Good morning Motley Meese! Hope your weekend was lovely.

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

Are you still accidentally writing “2013” instead of “2014”?

Are you a good driver? How are you at parallel parking?

Did you ever have to sneak into your own home?

Have you ever been locked out of your home when nobody is around to let you in? What did you do?

The Twitter Emitter

Donald Trump: "Global warming is obviously a hoax based on my extensive research in checking the weather this morning."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 2, 2014

If Pot is a gateway drug, beer is the well-lit accessible walkway that leads to the gate.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 2, 2014

Snowstorm is just the crisis de Blasio needs to nationalize the financial industry.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) January 2, 2014

The liberal media is so biased that I haven't seen one story on the bread lines and rationing in NYC caused by the de Blasio regime.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 3, 2014

Can't decide between a Duck Dynasty rifle or a Hoarders home clutter kit.

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) January 3, 2014

IDEA: Add Snapchat to Target app.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) January 3, 2014

Maybe Chris Kluwe can replace Ezra Klein.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 3, 2014

I have to give Obama this– two days in and no one has leaked the secret location of the Obamacare Death Panels to the press.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 3, 2014

Climate change? Who cares what happens after I die? I want it all, and I want the world to die with me. Suck it, future losers.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 3, 2014

Sorry you're getting your "White Christmas: late, guys. That's what we get for sending it UPS.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) January 3, 2014

Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin aren't hypocrites; I'm sure they will be up in arms about Chris Kluwe's free speech rights any minute now.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 3, 2014

A bag of Doritos now costs $149 in Denver.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) January 3, 2014

Good morning, Moosekind. TGIF! Hope it has been a good week for everyone. Snowy, blustery and incredibly cold here. Winds to 50 mph, wind chills below zero (almost unheard of in these parts).

Oh, man, today’s gonna feel like Monday again! That’s two weeks in a row with two Mondays. No fair.

Interrogatories

When do your Christmas decorations come down?

What famous landmarks or artworks have you been photographed with?

Do you carry a handkerchief? What is your sneezing strategy?

The Twitter Emitter

If you think everyone should have the right to own a gun You have no idea what “everyone” means.

— Joey Tranchina (@JoeyFotoFr) December 27, 2013

They say children are a gift from god. I'm totally wide-open to regifting.

— inappropriate mom (@nicfit75) December 27, 2013

George Zimmerman sold painting on e-bay for $100K. He's the most promising young artist to come along since John Wayne Gacy.

— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) December 25, 2013

It’s interesting that a lot of journalists who think that the NSA is Stalinist seem perfectly cool with Bloomberg’s stop & frisk policy.

— Teresa Kopec (@TeresaKopec) January 1, 2014

Before we give all those sluts free birth control, let's be sure to ask them if their husbands/boyfriends/dads have locks on their gunracks.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 1, 2014

Utah asked Supreme Court to halt gay marriage, saying that gays should be punished here on Earth instead of leaving it to God in Heaven.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 1, 2014

Remember: 2014 years ago, Jesus freed the slaves from the gay Communists.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) January 1, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

How’s the new year treating you so far? Any hangover?

Do you remember when they advertised cigarettes on TV? What ads do you remember?

What time zone is Real Time?

How do you plan to start off this new year?

The Twitter Emitter

Fewer Republicans believe in evolution but nearly 100% believe big oil is looking out for their best interests.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) December 31, 2013

Think of what you scream when a car alarm starts relentlessly blaring. Now think about what you scream when Isaa speaks. #SameThing

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) December 31, 2013

Afghanistan is now our most unpopular war. This never would've happened if Romney were president– Iran would've been the unpopular war.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) December 31, 2013

Kind of wish MSNBC hosts would quit apologizing to butthurt conservatives. It won't make them any less butthurt; it's their natural state.

— TBogg (@tbogg) December 31, 2013

GOP: please proceed with your minority outreach by screaming about Duck Dynasty Phil's free speech rights, and then demanding MHP be fired.

— Zandar (@ZandarVTS) December 31, 2013

PJ O'Rourke will be on @jaketapper 's show today to help usher in 1988

— TBogg (@tbogg) December 31, 2013

If Utah thinks marriage is linked to procreation, they’re not allowing any post-menopausal women get married, right?

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) December 31, 2013

2014 is already terrible and I broke all of my resolutions.

— CrutnackerNutcracker (@Crutnacker) January 1, 2014

After 2 hours in 2014, let me report that everything is better. Colors more vivid. Food tastes better. Really great. Also, I'm pretty baked.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 1, 2014

Happy New Year Moosekind! How is your head this morning?

The common Moose, Alces alces, unlike other members of the deer family, is a solitary animal that doesn’t form herds. Not so its rarer but nearest relative, Alces purplius, the Motley Moose. Though sometimes solitary, the Motley Moose herds in ever shifting groups at the local watering hole to exchange news and just pass the time.