Motley Moose – Archive

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

So I am going to work out with a trainer until I get back into the gym thing. Guess what his name is? :::drum roll, please::::   DRONE!

No, really.

Interrogatories

What is the answer to “Meow?”

What was your favorite recurring bit on “Laugh-In?”

Are there any childhood games (not board games) that seem to have been forgotten by subsequent generations?

What is your browser and why?

The Twitter Emitter

Today, cold air is stopping Washington from working. Usually it's hot air that does it.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) January 21, 2014

darmok, when the stores were out of milk #darmokweather

— myownpetard (@myownpetard) January 21, 2014

Thigh Reduction Creme? What the Hell does it do to your fingers when you rub it on?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 21, 2014

BREAKING: People of Illinois surprised to learn newly indicted Gov. Bob McDonnell NOT from Illinois.

— Joe Schmitt (@joeschmitt) January 21, 2014

More: "A woman can't be trusted w/ decisions about her own body, but multinat'l corps. can make decisions affecting mankind w/o regulation"

— GottaLaff (@GottaLaff) January 21, 2014

I eagerly await the next Wendy Davis scandal, wherein we learn that sometimes her husband would cook dinner while she mowed the lawn.

— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) January 21, 2014

I'm a Right Wing Tea Pot, Short and Stout. Here is my outrage, Here is my pout."

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) January 22, 2014

Bob McDonnell had a state, E-I-E-I-O

— Ian (@iboudreau) January 22, 2014

I've always admired David Vitter's firm belief that marriage should between a man and a woman who will forgive your prostitution scandals.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 22, 2014

Make sure to check on neighbors to be sure they are warm and see if they have better snacks and maybe get their WiFi password if you can.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 22, 2014

Good morning meese! Happy happy Wednesday!

The common Moose, Alces alces, unlike other members of the deer family, is a solitary animal that doesn’t form herds. Not so its rarer but nearest relative, Alces purplius, the Motley Moose. Though sometimes solitary, the Motley Moose herds in ever shifting groups at the local watering hole to exchange news and just pass the time.

Interrogatories

How much have you, personally, been affected by climate change?

Did you make up secret languages and/or code words as a kid so you could talk in front of others without them understanding? Got any examples you recall?

What is the easiest vice you ever gave up? Why did you give it up?

The Twitter Emitter

I've reached Peak Anonymous Source. Whenever I see one now, I just assume the journalist is lying.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 17, 2014

The invisible hand of the market won't even give West Virginians a reach around.

— Karl (@JerryMander) January 18, 2014

Whatever happens is God's will. Except when you're brain dead and pregnant in #Texas. Then God is wrong and we'll put you on life support.

— John (@linnyitssn) January 18, 2014

Common sense is so rare it should be considered a superpower.

— Grumpy Cat (@__GrumpyCat) January 18, 2014

Allowing the #fracking industry to do their own testing is like letting a drunk driver do their own sobriety test. http://t.co/3xn5C8U8vv

— TXsharon (@TXsharon) January 20, 2014

The 85 richest people are as wealthy as the poorest 3.5 billion. And those 85 people would like you to stop punishing success. Thank you.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 20, 2014

I’m so glad I don’t write about sports for a living. Too divisive.

— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) January 20, 2014

The same people who say the U.S. is the greatest country on earth hate its President and the majority of its people.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) January 21, 2014

I don't think you exist.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 21, 2014

"As long as you tweet a quote from me on my holiday, you can ignore my devotion to social justice." - Martin Luther King Jr.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 21, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

What is your favorite melty cheese? What do you prefer in your mac and cheese?

Did you ever have a favorite disc jockey? Who, and what station?

What is your favorite department in the department store?

The Twitter Emitter

Olympic athletes of the world, please turn Putin gay. You can do it.

— josh groban (@joshgroban) January 18, 2014

Call me old fashioned but sex should only be between a man and a woman he selected via a televised cattle call sponsored by car companies.

— Rye Silverman (@ryesilverman) January 18, 2014

I will let you fire me from your tech company for $1 million.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 18, 2014

No one says these giant severance packages undermine the incentive to work? Create a culture of dependency?

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 18, 2014

Las Vegas is what would happen if a spam filter came to life

— Megan Amram (@meganamram) January 18, 2014

Chris Christie reviewing plans to divert the Hudson away from Hoboken.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 19, 2014

Best Ensemble Acting in a Drama award actually should have gone to the 16 Democratic Senators pushing for more sanctions for Iran.

— Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch) January 19, 2014

"I never liked Christie until his scandals showed the media is out to get him." - Actual Republicans

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 19, 2014

Chris Christie is one more scandal revelation from having to start thinking about the name of his Fox News show.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 19, 2014

Bud bowl!!!!! This year it actually means something

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) January 20, 2014

I'm hearing from sources that Seahawks and Broncos may not be cleared to land at Newark Airport unless they endorse Christie '16

— Will Bunch (@Will_Bunch) January 20, 2014

  Good morning Motley Meese! Hope your weekend was lovely. One weekend closer to Spring.

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

Ever purchase vanity plates? What did they say? Did you get your money’s worth of vanity?

Ever sing in a choir? Ensemble? Along with the radio, to the annoyance of your neighbors?

Describe perfect weather.

The Twitter Emitter

Temperature in Hollywood just dropped to 81 degrees. Pray for us.

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) January 15, 2014

Is it okay to hang out in front of Sunday schools and tell the kids that religion is bullshit? I'm asking for the Supreme Court.

— TBogg (@tbogg) January 16, 2014

If you can't directly yell in a woman's face as she seeks medical help, how will she know that you're a Christian?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 16, 2014

Rand Paul announced he joined SnapChat today, though he says he's "getting sick of all the sex messages from some Carlos Danger guy."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 16, 2014

PLEASE NOTE: If "propaganda" can make you gay, it wasn't that hard.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 16, 2014

Just saw a guy with a tramp stamp. The death panels can't come fast enough.

— TBogg (@tbogg) January 16, 2014

Trent Franks: "My bill will have the IRS focus on what's good for America– auditing rape victims instead of billionaires buying elections."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 17, 2014

"Muslim headscarves? What a cruel & primitive supertstition" said the circumcised Western man.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 17, 2014

Nadya Suleman has trademarked the term 'Octomom.' Her children, meanwhile, have trademarked the term 'Somebody Help Us.'

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 17, 2014

First, GOP cut Food Stamps to preserve tax breaks for corporate polluters. Then corporate polluters poisoned the water supply. #freedom

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 16, 2014