Motley Moose – Archive

Happy Valentines Day!  Just a little reminder, my favorite See’s candy is the espresso flavored creme filling. 😉

Interrogatories

How many animals do you have in your home? Who has the upper hand, you or them?

The penny: A useful piece of currency or a total waste of resources?

Who was/is your favorite TV/movie/or literature sidekick?

The Twitter Emitter

It was white outside yesterday!

#SoWhiteOutside Trey Radel is snorting the sidewalk.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it just got an apology from @msnbc.

— BWD (@theonlyadult) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside that some of its best friends are “Black ice” and “mixed sleet.”

— TriniPrincess (@TriniPrincess) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside the snow is falling offbeat

— Buddha Lee Raye (@LynchNineBows) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside that it's praising Macklemore for saving hip hop.

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) February 13, 2014

It's #SoWhiteOutside I just caught a case of affluenza.

— Nicholas Coleman (@pedanticprof) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it's already been acquitted

— foggy hedgehog (@mazzie) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it thinks this hashtag is racist

— Mychal Denzel Smith (@mychalsmith) February 13, 2014

#sowhiteoutside it can't get its wife elected to the Denver school board but thinks it's smarter about politics than you.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) February 13, 2014

There was other stuff going on, too:

Time Warner merging with Comcast is like Justin Bieber merging with Nickleback and that's the only thing you can listen to.

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) February 13, 2014

So if I am drunk at a bar and I rob another drunk, are they as much to blame because we were both drunk?

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 13, 2014

RT @Big6domino I'm taking donations to get #MichaelDunn cell mate two 12 inch Woofers and NWA's complete catalog. #DunnTrial

— Candace Brown (@CandaceTX) February 13, 2014

Every time a US Congressman announces they won't run for reelection it represents one new job they've managed to create.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 13, 2014

Good morning, Moosekind. TGIF!

Interrogatories

What do you require to get moving in the morning? Coffee, or worse?

How many things do you own that have to be plugged in? What are they?

Are you a birder? What are your favorite birds?

The Twitter Emitter

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the pressure of alliterative humour wasn't weighing him down?

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) February 12, 2014

Once upon a time, some well-intentioned grownup said 'follow your bliss' to young Jeffrey Dahmer.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 12, 2014

This Valentine’s Day, get women what they really need – more representation in government. #WhatWomenNeed pic.twitter.com/TODEP0Pmym

— Mark Takano (@RepMarkTakano) February 12, 2014

Bob Jones University: we have to cover this rape thing up because of Jesus. Jesus: READ. WHAT. I. SAID. AGAIN.

— ¡ Terry ! Candy Saga (@shortstack81) February 12, 2014

"Oh, what do you mean we should have civil rights laws? If you didn't want to be arrested & held w/o trial should have been a millionaire!"

— Yung Dim Summa (@yeloson) February 12, 2014

Clarence Thomas: 'I didn't notice ANY racism in the '60s. But then again, I did spend my time dropping acid and watching Swedish porn"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 13, 2014

Valentine's week winter storm mean so much screwing in the south. Big GOP demographic advantage coming up.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 13, 2014

Maine Gov. Paul LePage to veto bill increasing access to a lifesaving anti-overdose medication because of concerns that people might live.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Been out of the country for a while, How's Darrel Issa's hearing into the George Washington Bridge tie-up going?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 13, 2014

BREAKING: Borders overrun by lazy, mooching immigrants after Obama raises minimum wage to $10.10 for federal contact workers.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Ray Nagin is guilty of corruption and taking bribes, so obviously Obama must be too. It's just logic, sheeple!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Federal DC offices are closed tomorrow. Forecast calls for significant accumulation of conservative government-is-worthless tweets.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 13, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

When it comes to newer music, are you open minded, or are you the “Get off my lawn!” type?

What is the best Girl Scout cookie?

What is the first thing you see in the morning? Same as the last thing at night?

The Twitter Emitter

I like when the guys who keep talking about white pride are the ones that make other Caucasians embarrassed to be white.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 9, 2014

Rand Paul: "People shouldn't be bullied by government. Except when we call them moochers, sluts or abominations against God, of course."

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

The GOP doesn't hate women guys, it just thinks they should be held responsible for their husbands' misdeeds.

— Danielle Candy Saga (@DCPlod) February 10, 2014

Breaking: Traffic around Atlanta at a standstill due to 3 inches of preemptive road salt.

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) February 11, 2014

Bread makes it snow. Stop buying it.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 11, 2014

So @SarahPalinUSA turned 50 today. Finally, her age matches her IQ.

— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) February 11, 2014

Dear terrorists: All you have to do to start poisoning our water with complete impunity is become corporate executives. #Maddow

— Ali Davis (@Ali_Davis) February 12, 2014

Actual birds go extinct all the time and no one cares but Flappy Bird goes extinct and holy shit, let's all panic.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 12, 2014

The most common way people give up their power is thinking they have none.

— Amber Worthy (@AWorthyNews) February 12, 2014

Good morning, Moosekind.

The common Moose, Alces alces, unlike other members of the deer family, is a solitary animal that doesn’t form herds. Not so its rarer but nearest relative, Alces purplius, the Motley Moose. Though sometimes solitary, the Motley Moose herds in ever shifting groups at the local watering hole to exchange news and just pass the time.

Interrogatories

Have you ever seen a streaker? Have you ever been a streaker?

Has anyone ever flashed you?

In any parts of your life where you are an authority figure (parent, classroom, office, etc.) do you think you are strict, or permissive?

The Twitter Emitter

You know your pets are overweight when you find yourself worrying about unflattering camera angles.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 10, 2014

#YouMightBeARepublican if you worry more about your kids paying an estate tax than you do about them inheriting a livable planet

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

Wake up,you fools. The snow and ice will continue in the south until the Jaguars sign Tebow.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 10, 2014

A gritty "Popeye" reboot in which Ryan Gosling plays a moody sailor whose spinach addiction leads him into violence

— Seth D. Michaels (@sethdmichaels) February 10, 2014

Roy Blunt wants you to work more hours or else you're lazy. Blunt worked 113 days last year. http://t.co/2qATbTojpp #p2 #tcot @RoyBlunt

— Bob Cesca (@bobcesca_go) February 10, 2014

Ronald Reagan is sort of like Jesus. You have to openly worship him. Also, you have to ignore virtually everything he actually did & said.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 10, 2014

in response to rnc bringing up lewinsky scandal, dnc vows to nail gop nominee on teapot dome. #AnswerTheTeapot

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 10, 2014

"It's like getting blown up, on your first day of suicide bombing class." #OKThatsIronic

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 10, 2014

A day without wine is like … never going to happen.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) February 10, 2014

To neigh or not to neigh, that is equestrian.

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) February 10, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

At this writing, I am listening to people on TV talking about various kinds of addiction, which leads to these serious questions.

Have you known many drug addicts? Have you lost friends or loved ones to drugs?

How about alcohol?

Smoking?

I’ve lost loved ones to all three, I’ll bet most of you have as well.

The Twitter Emitter

Question: if someone hacks into your laptop and activates the camera, do the image copyrights belong to the computer owner of the hacker?

— Timothy B. Lee (@binarybits) February 7, 2014

Question: Will websites featuring leaked #Sochi bathroom surveillance video be considered Revenge Porn?

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) February 7, 2014

This episode of the Opening Ceremonies is brought to you by the letter Б

— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) February 7, 2014

If we can't have equal pay for women, can women start paying 77% for all goods and services? #wegoted

— Shannyn Moore (@shannynmoore) February 7, 2014

"Any new business regulation is Communism," say the politicians & businessmen who moved your job to China.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 9, 2014

Anybody who thinks Obamacare doesn't free you up to make new career choices should talk to Mitt Romney.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 9, 2014

If you want to change the world you're gonna need a big diaper.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 9, 2014

Rooting for Westeros in the Olympics. John Snow should do well in cross-country and oral sex.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 10, 2014

"We should expel gays from the party because the Devil made them gay" — GOP official "All I did was make them Republicans" — The Devil

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

Windows 8 — Because Windows 7 actually worked well, and we couldn't have that, could we?

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 10, 2014

  Good morning Motley Meese! She’s baaaack! Hope your weekend was lovely.