Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

Nurse Kelley Sez: The end of an era for me

(This is a cross-post of my final diary as moderator of KosAbility)

I wrote the kick-off diary for this group three years ago next month, and I have been the Sunday moderator almost every week since.  

Many of us old-timers who considered KosAbility to be a labor of  love have moved on. CJ (ulookarmless) passed away. Father John-Mark (jgilhousen) has a new ministry. Scottie Thomaston (formerly indiemcemopants) has a full-time job. Homogenius has a job and a busy life. Peter (plf515) is still an occasional contributor and remains my rock, but his business is growing. Me? I’m tired. Three years is a long time to give up every Sunday afternoon.

We’ve done great work with this group. Before KosAbility, you didn’t see people getting donuts for comments like “retard” or “take your meds”. We earned a deserved place on the Daily Kos masthead, one of only five groups named as “Featured Groups”.  Almost 1200 diaries bear the KosAbility tag, and most of our scheduled diaries have been on the site’s Recommended List. A lot to be proud of; a great tradition for someone to carry forward.

That someone is my friend postmodernista. I was about to post a diary last week looking for a volunteer when Jill called me out of the blue and, when I told her what I was doing, she offered to take my place. It was as if the universe were handing me a gift! We’re both here today, me to say goodbye and Jill to say hello to those who don’t know her. I’ll let her have the space below the squiggle to introduce herself.

I want to thank everyone in the community for helping make KosAbility such a success – our writers, our commenters, our moderators, and our board. You guys are the best of the best. ♥

Hai there, good folks and people! This is Jill/postmodernista- I hope that tonight’s get-together finds you all well, or at least with minimal misery. I also hope you’ll be kind, ’cause I’m just a tiny bit nervous. Kelley said to introduce myself, and I’ll try not to natter – here goes:

I’m a 5th generation native Texan currently in a wee-bitty town right in the smack-dab middle; we’ve come a long way toward urban development since I moved here the first time- we now have 2 ATM machines and 2 stoplights! I’ve also lived in some big places around the state, and I have to say that this little life goes a long way toward helping me be peaceful.

I’ve been a good child, a bad one, a college student, one of the working poor, a mother, caretaker, a divorcee, abused in a couple of relationships, a paramedic and instructor, housewife, college administrator and teacher, grad student, unemployed, out of my mind with bipolar disorder and PTSD, and hopefully now mentally stable and learning my new future. That would include being happy with my still relatively new husband of 6 years (specifically not driving him crazy), learning a new ‘job’ that really isn’t one in the form of an antique store that we’ve established here with the assistance of other family that I never was allowed to really know. I’ve been known to weep at injustice or rant like Julia Sugarbaker, wish on a star, or drive to the beach at midnight just to stick my toes in the sand and then come back. Impulsive, you know – I’m really trying to work on that.

I’ve struggled with how to introduce myself elegantly, and how that would be relevant to being a KosAbility moderator, and especially how to do so that leaves y’all not disappointed in the third rate substitute that now will stand in for Kelley. But writing, and seeing that list, it strikes me that many of us struggle to define ourselves, both relative to, and apart from, every aspect of our collected experiences and disabilities, and in most cases, those are multiple and evolving roles.

I’ve always been more interested in learning things a mile wide and an inch deep, rather than the reverse. That’s what made me a good paramedic and a sorry grad student … it just did not suit my strengths. But it occurs to me, what one gets in KosAbility is both breadth and depth, and discussions from real people that put a very human face on what may be unfamiliar territory, language and customs, and some acquaintance with that issue that hopefully will prevent us each from making an ass of ourselves the next time that particular issue and more importantly, the person who lives it, are right in front of us.

I’ve also struggled with this whole ‘be the moderator!’ thing since Kelley and I talked (Pick me! Pick me!). I’ve found myself prone to ‘overpromise and underdeliver’, and have tried in recent years to make no promises at all, lest I disappoint. But not being expected to do anything isn’t really healthy either, and rather than have a panic attack and bail before I even try, I’m going to expect that this will be a good experience, that I have the skills to manage it, and that we’ll all get through it together.

So, Kelley and KosAbility peeps, I look forward to this, and y’all. Fingers crossed and FSM look upon us with good favor.



  1. LabWitch

    i know you feel a depression about it right now, but, we’re here and we know how much you care and how much you gave while over there.  we also know you’ll continue with us here.  we’re the winners.  the other place is on life support now, it’s only a matter of time before it all crashes down, they’ve lost the best and brightest, the MM has gained the best and brightest.  look to the future, it’s looking pretty bright Kelley.

  2. dear occupant

    as deeply about leaving their ‘baby’ in good hands as

    much as you cared when you were there, Nurse Kelley.

    welcome to life postOrange.  

  3. I’ll probably be back and forth for a while . I have been trying to get caught up on my writing. I have a Kosability diary ready for the 3rd, a Breaking Bread for tomorrow, a Grieving Room for the 4th, a Books That Changed My Life for the 8th, and a What Are You Working On for the 10th. I can’t imagine why my niece thinks I’m over extending myself. 😉

    Plus I am doing a major change to some of my art since I have a new technique to make the people and animals look more real. Plus of course my cooking. I just did a dynamite recipe for today’s dinner that I’ll type up and share.

    Once in a while I actually get to wrap myself up in my quilt although Pixie has decided that if Merlin is going to take her chair and the matching large pootie pad she gets my quilt. Children. Sigh!

  4. princesspat

    A voice when I couldn’t find the words, wise and caring support when I have needed it, shared laughter and tears, and most of all a role model for strength, courage, and honesty.

    I’m very happy to know you are taking good care if yourself now too.

    Thanks for sharing your cursing tree!

    ♥ ♥ ♥

  5. raina

    I’ve enjoyed it, too. I’m sorry I never got to do a diary about my anxiety/panic attacks that you asked me to consider a while back. It’s still too personal for me and not something I really want to share with other kossacks at large. Maybe some day.

    Enjoy life!

  6. nomandates

    You built that community, and now others must step up if they truly value it. (And I believe they do.) I know that stepping back was a difficult decision but am glad that you are taking the break you so clearly need from that sort of responsibility.

    FWIW, I will keep an eye on the KosAbility group.

  7. Ekaterin

    And to everyone else too….so many familiar names here! Yay!

    Kelley, thank you for your great Kosability series, and thanks for inviting me here!

  8. slksfca

    To the rest of you: I want everyone to know that Kelley has helped me out personally, without prompting, at a time when I barely knew who she was other than a name on my screen. She is a treasure, and I’m grateful to think that I might be numbered among the many who she calls friends. 🙂

  9. Its the Supreme Court Stupid

    Hopefully, they will ditch the orange and put on the cloak of purple for their dose of Nurse Kelley.  

    It truly is their loss and our gain.

  10. JG in MD

    You’ve helped so many people. I know you’ll use this bit of new freedom to help in new ways that energize you.

  11. gchaucer2

    to join your wonderful group here.  I should say, invitations, since you have asked before and I just wasn’t ready for another group.  

    Glad I’m here to see so many “faces” I’ve missed elsewhere.  I’m continuing with my GUS diaries on the other site because I have a warm connection with the group and none of us are mean spirited.

    I hope I can rise to the level of discussion and contribution you have already established.

    Bear with me if I hit the wrong comment button.  I have to recalibrate my brain to having the positive rec third in the list.

  12. Nursie! have you heard from our favorite curmudgeon? I sent him an email but he sucks at checking in these days. Arrrrgghhhhhh!

    Yeah yeah…for the rest of you, I’m referring to homogenius. He’s the best friend anyone could ask for. Hubby and I adore the man. I miss him terribly.

    I’m slowly escaping the other place. I’m so happy to see gchaucer2 and A C here. 🙂 I won’t abandon my fellow GUSsacks though.  

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