Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

BREAKING: Canada Declares War….On Moose

In a calculated move that can be interpreted as no less than attempted genocide…Canada has declared war on Moose. With justifications that are tenuous at best, Canadian leaders have put forth a plan to establish their dominance over Moose. While the U.N. scrambles to review International Law in regards to interspecies warfare, Canada has already begun its campaign of terror against the Moose.


Canadian officials have developed a war plan behind closed doors that has caught the international community by surprise. Their plan, insidious as it is, relies upon the methodical culling of Moose on Canadian territory. In a move sure to increase the illegal movement of Moose across the Canadian/U.S. border, Canadians have begun to attack Moose where they live, track them to where they hide, and hunt them down one by one based only upon their species. It is a classic case of genus profiling.


By reducing the number of Canadian Moose, they seek to decrease the power of Moose to congregate (and mate) in an attempt to maintain the oppression of man over beast. As David with Goliath, Moose face seemingly insurmountable odds in a battle for their very lives.


Canada’s call to arms has provoked a wave of government propaganda intent upon capturing the the patriotic spirit of the civilian population.


The Moose, in turn, are rallying…but it is feared to be too little, too late.


Moose are scrambling with the difficult decision of whether or not to cross the border into the U.S.. While the U.S. has not openly declared war upon Moose, nefarious methods of intimidation, including fatal attacks from the air, have been used by high ranking officials.


As Moose fight to survive….the world watches.



  1. HappyinVT

    we need to go to the mattresses.  Brit needs to work the diplomatic angles with the queen.

    BTW, thanks for the gratuitous Palin pic.  I hear she charges to use her likeness.  Beware the knock on the door by Todd.

  2. and in the fields, and the woods, and in the villages, and towns, and cities. And, then we fight them door-to-door until victory is achieved. We cannot lose. Right is on our side. Besides, we have Bullwinkle.

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