Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

About damn time

Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal

01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Massachusetts is finally challenging DoMA

It’s about time that someone finally challenged this amazing stinker.  

I have been an advocate of gay marriage on the grounds of religious freedom for a while. Because no defense of marriage can separate itself intrinsically from that as a final defense. Not tradition, not for the children, at its heart, it is about “preserving” marriage for good people of the Book, who oddly cling to portions of text, while omitting others.

I posit, that when we can outlaw Red Lobster, pulled pork, Lance Armstrong, animal husbandry, psychic hotlines, fashion magazines, autopsies and embalming, mixing tomatos and basil in the same planters, and beard trimmers, they can have their DoMA.  But, while we’re at it, we need to really up the penalties for adultery, theft, Sunday brunches, and a LOT more stonings for disobedient children, and for damn sure for gossip rags and most of Fox New’s coverage of damn near everything as bearing false witness was under the Big Ten.

Leviticus 19:27 reads “You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.”

Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads “You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you.”

Leviticus 19:31 reads “Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God.” The penalty for that? Check Leviticus 20:6: “As for the person who turns to mediums and to spiritists, to play the harlot after them, I will also set My face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.”

Leviticus 19:28 reads, “You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord.”

Leviticus 19:19 reads, “You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.”

Deuteronomy 23:1 reads “A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord.”

Timothy 2:9 reads “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments.”

Leviticus 11:10 reads, “But whatever is in the seas and in the rivers that does not have fins and scales among all the teeming life of the water, and among all the living creatures that are in the water, they are detestable things to you.”

While I realize, that it won’t be challenged under the aegis of religious freedom, in my heart of hearts, I want to see these ridiculous claims that same sex marriage has any basis outside religion.

I desperately want folks to put forth a real and concerted effort to try to prove that same sex marriage is a danger, and I want to see their proof. I want to see a defense mounted, so that it can be demolished, and we can put this tripe to rest.

The freedom of religion is exactly why DoMA needs to be dismantled. It is the state advocating religious views to justify restriciting the rights of citizens.  And what the advocates who love them some forbidding fail to realize, is that by paving the way for the state to take the view of ministries over others, it opens up a whole can of worms, that our Framers saw long in advance of this.  Part of the reason that Jefferson didn’t want churches administer government funds for charitable works–by involving the state and binding the state to a religious organization, it paves the way for greater involvement, and making those ministries an arm of the state. And while that is fine for those ministries now, what happens down the road, when the nation swings to another?  

DoMA needs to be struck down, not just because it is vile that our state advocates the restriction of rights, but also because it binds the state to ministries, and that is far more dangerous ground.  Not just for those who dislike same sex marriage, but then it’s a small step to argue for other grand laws to protect people.  And that slippery, slippery, slippery slope is exactly what our Framers feared, and were wise to want to keep the state out of religious hair.


  1. Article IV

    Section 1. Full faith and credit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.

    Section 2. The citizens of each state shall be entitled to all privileges and immunities of citizens in the several states.

    A person charged in any state with treason, felony, or other crime, who shall flee from justice, and be found in another state, shall on demand of the executive authority of the state from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the state having jurisdiction of the crime.

    No person held to service or labor in one state, under the laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in consequence of any law or regulation therein, be discharged from such service or labor, but shall be delivered up on claim of the party to whom such service or labor may be due.

    Section 3. New states may be admitted by the Congress into this union; but no new states shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other state; nor any state be formed by the junction of two or more states, or parts of states, without the consent of the legislatures of the states concerned as well as of the Congress.

    The Congress shall have power to dispose of and make all needful rules and regulations respecting the territory or other property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to prejudice any claims of the United States, or of any particular state.

    Section 4. The United States shall guarantee to every state in this union a republican form of government, and shall protect each of them against invasion; and on application of the legislature, or of the executive (when the legislature cannot be convened) against domestic violence.

  2. Finally, a “one-stop shop” for defending the unquestionable right of marriage equality. This is excellent; I appreciate both your passion and your meticulousness (man I hope that’s a word). Hopefully the day is coming soon!

  3. fogiv

    …of stuff here.  I particularly love the scripture quotations as (much to my fiance’s dismay) I occasionally invite in door-to-door proselytizers.

    Can we talk with you about the Bible today?


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