Motley Moose – Archive

Happy Valentines Day!  Just a little reminder, my favorite See’s candy is the espresso flavored creme filling. 😉

Interrogatories

How many animals do you have in your home? Who has the upper hand, you or them?

The penny: A useful piece of currency or a total waste of resources?

Who was/is your favorite TV/movie/or literature sidekick?

The Twitter Emitter

It was white outside yesterday!

#SoWhiteOutside Trey Radel is snorting the sidewalk.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it just got an apology from @msnbc.

— BWD (@theonlyadult) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside that some of its best friends are “Black ice” and “mixed sleet.”

— TriniPrincess (@TriniPrincess) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside the snow is falling offbeat

— Buddha Lee Raye (@LynchNineBows) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside that it's praising Macklemore for saving hip hop.

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) February 13, 2014

It's #SoWhiteOutside I just caught a case of affluenza.

— Nicholas Coleman (@pedanticprof) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it's already been acquitted

— foggy hedgehog (@mazzie) February 13, 2014

#SoWhiteOutside it thinks this hashtag is racist

— Mychal Denzel Smith (@mychalsmith) February 13, 2014

#sowhiteoutside it can't get its wife elected to the Denver school board but thinks it's smarter about politics than you.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) February 13, 2014

There was other stuff going on, too:

Time Warner merging with Comcast is like Justin Bieber merging with Nickleback and that's the only thing you can listen to.

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) February 13, 2014

So if I am drunk at a bar and I rob another drunk, are they as much to blame because we were both drunk?

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 13, 2014

RT @Big6domino I'm taking donations to get #MichaelDunn cell mate two 12 inch Woofers and NWA's complete catalog. #DunnTrial

— Candace Brown (@CandaceTX) February 13, 2014

Every time a US Congressman announces they won't run for reelection it represents one new job they've managed to create.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 13, 2014

Interrogatories

What do you require to get moving in the morning? Coffee, or worse?

How many things do you own that have to be plugged in? What are they?

Are you a birder? What are your favorite birds?

The Twitter Emitter

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if the pressure of alliterative humour wasn't weighing him down?

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) February 12, 2014

Once upon a time, some well-intentioned grownup said 'follow your bliss' to young Jeffrey Dahmer.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 12, 2014

This Valentine’s Day, get women what they really need – more representation in government. #WhatWomenNeed pic.twitter.com/TODEP0Pmym

— Mark Takano (@RepMarkTakano) February 12, 2014

Bob Jones University: we have to cover this rape thing up because of Jesus. Jesus: READ. WHAT. I. SAID. AGAIN.

— ¡ Terry ! Candy Saga (@shortstack81) February 12, 2014

"Oh, what do you mean we should have civil rights laws? If you didn't want to be arrested & held w/o trial should have been a millionaire!"

— Yung Dim Summa (@yeloson) February 12, 2014

Clarence Thomas: 'I didn't notice ANY racism in the '60s. But then again, I did spend my time dropping acid and watching Swedish porn"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 13, 2014

Valentine's week winter storm mean so much screwing in the south. Big GOP demographic advantage coming up.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 13, 2014

Maine Gov. Paul LePage to veto bill increasing access to a lifesaving anti-overdose medication because of concerns that people might live.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Been out of the country for a while, How's Darrel Issa's hearing into the George Washington Bridge tie-up going?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 13, 2014

BREAKING: Borders overrun by lazy, mooching immigrants after Obama raises minimum wage to $10.10 for federal contact workers.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Ray Nagin is guilty of corruption and taking bribes, so obviously Obama must be too. It's just logic, sheeple!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 13, 2014

Federal DC offices are closed tomorrow. Forecast calls for significant accumulation of conservative government-is-worthless tweets.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 13, 2014

Interrogatories

When it comes to newer music, are you open minded, or are you the “Get off my lawn!” type?

What is the best Girl Scout cookie?

What is the first thing you see in the morning? Same as the last thing at night?

The Twitter Emitter

I like when the guys who keep talking about white pride are the ones that make other Caucasians embarrassed to be white.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 9, 2014

Rand Paul: "People shouldn't be bullied by government. Except when we call them moochers, sluts or abominations against God, of course."

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

The GOP doesn't hate women guys, it just thinks they should be held responsible for their husbands' misdeeds.

— Danielle Candy Saga (@DCPlod) February 10, 2014

Breaking: Traffic around Atlanta at a standstill due to 3 inches of preemptive road salt.

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) February 11, 2014

Bread makes it snow. Stop buying it.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 11, 2014

So @SarahPalinUSA turned 50 today. Finally, her age matches her IQ.

— Steve Marmel (@Marmel) February 11, 2014

Dear terrorists: All you have to do to start poisoning our water with complete impunity is become corporate executives. #Maddow

— Ali Davis (@Ali_Davis) February 12, 2014

Actual birds go extinct all the time and no one cares but Flappy Bird goes extinct and holy shit, let's all panic.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 12, 2014

The most common way people give up their power is thinking they have none.

— Amber Worthy (@AWorthyNews) February 12, 2014

Found on the Internets …

Walmart’s Labor Practices Backfire

“Walmart U.S.’s relentless focus on costs does seem to have taken some toll on in-store conditions and stock levels,” the note says in regards to understaffing. “[O]ur store visits over the last six months show a repeating pattern of stocking issues in many departments in the store.” When products aren’t on the shelves, that means Walmart can’t sell them, depressing overall sales. And if the shelves are empty and the lines are long, there may not be a reason for consumers to frequent the stores.[…]

The research report also points out that the labor struggles that have ignited around its poor practices have come with a cost, noting, “Today, Wal-Mart spends a good deal of time and money in hopes of easing Washington scrutiny, bolstering its corporate image and assuaging labor groups.” […]

Walmart says it pays full-time workers $12.78 an hour, on average, but other reports put average pay just over $8 an hour. Costco, on the other hand, pays workers nearly $22 an hour on average. Its sales are up 6 percent over last year.

Psstt!! Walmart!!! Spend some of that money to pay a living wage instead of fighting the regulators and maybe you will gain some goodwill (and business) from that. Just a thought.

Suicide Bomber Instructor Blows Up Suicide Bombers-In-Training

The commander of an Iraqi militant group accidentally killed 22 members of his unit Monday who were training to become suicide bombers after he conducted a demonstration with live explosives, the New York Times reported.

The Sunni militants belonged to the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, also known as ISIS, according the Times. They have been engaged in fighting with the Iraqi government army and conducted suicide bombings throughout the country.[…]

An Iraqi army official described the commander as a “prolific recruiter,” adding that he was “able to kill the bad guys for once”.

More …

Interrogatories

Have you ever seen a streaker? Have you ever been a streaker?

Has anyone ever flashed you?

In any parts of your life where you are an authority figure (parent, classroom, office, etc.) do you think you are strict, or permissive?

The Twitter Emitter

You know your pets are overweight when you find yourself worrying about unflattering camera angles.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 10, 2014

#YouMightBeARepublican if you worry more about your kids paying an estate tax than you do about them inheriting a livable planet

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

Wake up,you fools. The snow and ice will continue in the south until the Jaguars sign Tebow.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 10, 2014

A gritty "Popeye" reboot in which Ryan Gosling plays a moody sailor whose spinach addiction leads him into violence

— Seth D. Michaels (@sethdmichaels) February 10, 2014

Roy Blunt wants you to work more hours or else you're lazy. Blunt worked 113 days last year. http://t.co/2qATbTojpp #p2 #tcot @RoyBlunt

— Bob Cesca (@bobcesca_go) February 10, 2014

Ronald Reagan is sort of like Jesus. You have to openly worship him. Also, you have to ignore virtually everything he actually did & said.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 10, 2014

in response to rnc bringing up lewinsky scandal, dnc vows to nail gop nominee on teapot dome. #AnswerTheTeapot

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 10, 2014

"It's like getting blown up, on your first day of suicide bombing class." #OKThatsIronic

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 10, 2014

A day without wine is like … never going to happen.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) February 10, 2014

To neigh or not to neigh, that is equestrian.

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) February 10, 2014

Interrogatories

At this writing, I am listening to people on TV talking about various kinds of addiction, which leads to these serious questions.

Have you known many drug addicts? Have you lost friends or loved ones to drugs?

How about alcohol?

Smoking?

I’ve lost loved ones to all three, I’ll bet most of you have as well.

The Twitter Emitter

Question: if someone hacks into your laptop and activates the camera, do the image copyrights belong to the computer owner of the hacker?

— Timothy B. Lee (@binarybits) February 7, 2014

Question: Will websites featuring leaked #Sochi bathroom surveillance video be considered Revenge Porn?

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) February 7, 2014

This episode of the Opening Ceremonies is brought to you by the letter Б

— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) February 7, 2014

If we can't have equal pay for women, can women start paying 77% for all goods and services? #wegoted

— Shannyn Moore (@shannynmoore) February 7, 2014

"Any new business regulation is Communism," say the politicians & businessmen who moved your job to China.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 9, 2014

Anybody who thinks Obamacare doesn't free you up to make new career choices should talk to Mitt Romney.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 9, 2014

If you want to change the world you're gonna need a big diaper.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 9, 2014

Rooting for Westeros in the Olympics. John Snow should do well in cross-country and oral sex.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 10, 2014

"We should expel gays from the party because the Devil made them gay" — GOP official "All I did was make them Republicans" — The Devil

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 10, 2014

Windows 8 — Because Windows 7 actually worked well, and we couldn't have that, could we?

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 10, 2014

Interrogatories

Are you touchy-feely or reserved? Do you hug a lot?

Do you ever fly the American flag? Any flag?

Do you often attend theatrical events (including ballet and opera)? How about museum exhibits? What is the last of any of these that you saw?

The Twitter Emitter

If you're a guy who wants to have sex with women, then calls women who talk about having sex trashy, you're an idiot.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) February 6, 2014

I think we all want that American Dream where we can be rich enough to drunkenly kill several people & not go to prison.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 6, 2014

Lucy withdraws support for comprehensive football placekicking reform.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 6, 2014

Not saying Wikileaks is owned by Russian intel, but I am saying there's a suspicious number of dropped definite articles in their writing.

— ☞ Internet, Eh? ☜ (@InternetEh) February 6, 2014

CEILING RUSSIAN SECURITY SERVICES CAT KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL FOLDER BURIED IN C://DOCUMENTS/MYFILES #sochi2014

— ¡ Terry ! Candy Saga (@shortstack81) February 6, 2014

Most of the reporters will stop whinging about #SochiProblems once the radioactive polonium-210 kicks in.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 6, 2014

For people who love talking about "responsibility," libertarians have absolutely no grasp of "liability."

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 6, 2014

"AOL's health care expenses went up this yr, just as they have every yr since the company was founded, but this time it's Obamacare's fault"

— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) February 6, 2014

Sochi hotel rooms are so bad that bedbugs are walking out in protest.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 6, 2014

Subway is removing azodicarbonamide from its bread because a Fritos Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt should be healthy

— Desus (@desusnice) February 6, 2014

Interrogatories

Do you go along with the re-naming of stadiums and ballparks after corporations, or do you insist on calling them by the original names?

Do you think that the U.K. should dump their royalty, or are they worth maintaining?

Do you lend out things (tools, money, books), even if you know there is little likelihood of seeing them again?

The Twitter Emitter

Which BuzzFeed quiz are you? (A BuzzFeed quiz.)

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) February 5, 2014

I don't know anymore what people mean when they say something is "divisive" or "mean" or "bullying." Those words have been so diluted.

— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) February 5, 2014

"We're just stenographers. Actual journalism is too much like work." ~ The DC Village Sheeple explain their lazy reporting.

— Libido Shuffle (@eclecticbrotha) February 5, 2014

When someone asks you to not call them something or speak of them in certain ways, why is it hard to respect that?

— Sarafeminista (@FeministaJones) February 5, 2014

Liberals should be more Tigger, less Eeyore.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 5, 2014

The CBO proves Obamacare will destroy the economy by letting sick seniors retire rather than be stuck working for health insurance.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 5, 2014

I'd tell you what 'incredulous' means, but you probably wouldn't believe me.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) February 3, 2014

Productivity is up, but wage compensation is down. Minus health insurance "job lock," what did you THINK was going to happen?

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 6, 2014

I'm glad the media's finally talking about bad heroin batches, cos those really ruin it for the healthy fair-trade organic vegan brands.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 6, 2014

Nice to see Rick Perry can take time out from all the pro-life work he does to enjoy executing someone.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 6, 2014

Interrogatories

What is your favorite source for weather information? Do you have a weather radio?

Nutella: Love it or hate it?

What is your favorite game involving hitting balls with sticks? Are you any good at it?

The Twitter Emitter

Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo didn't discover California so you could talk all foreign #SpeakAmerican

— Gen JC Xtian patriot (@JC_Christian) February 4, 2014

"My school pal for whom I created a job at Port Authority is a fucking monster who should be nowhere near the reins of power I handed him."

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 4, 2014

You will always be applauded in the most affluent quarters when you blame blameless victims for their own misery.

— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) February 4, 2014

Facebook turns 10 today, quickly nearing the age to no longer be interested in Facebook.

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) February 4, 2014

If marriage equality is not Scottish, it's crap!

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 4, 2014

You'd think I'd be a creationist, but these days I prefer to deny any involvement in this fiasco.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 4, 2014

Will I use this cattle prod on the next person who sends me an @Upworthy link? The answer may shock you.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) February 5, 2014

I want Ken Ham to debate a Pastafarian. Would be more instructive for all involved.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) February 5, 2014

Shorter Ken Ham: The Bible is the word of God and the origin of everything. How do we know? The Bible tells us. #creationdebate

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 5, 2014

REMINDER: if you oppose gay marriage for Biblical reasons you're also banned from eating at Red Lobster or getting a tattoo #Leviticus

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 5, 2014

As relief from that creation debate I'm going to have a discussion on nuclear physics with my cat.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 5, 2014

The CBO proves Obamacare will destroy the economy by letting sick seniors retire rather than be stuck working for health insurance.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 5, 2014

Interrogatories

If you could travel to any fictional world, where would you go?

Miracle Whip: Good food or abomination?

Are you ever a klutz? Any embarrassing stories?

The Twitter Emitter

I'm not offended by enamel erosion & high fructose corn syrup but damn you Coke for an America the Beautiful that doesn't hate foreigners.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

You'd think the angry bigots could overlook the America the Beautiful ad & still appreciate coke for the poor labor & environmental record.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

Next up on Fox News: How it's not racist to be mad Coke ruined the Super Bowl with reminders that America isn't all white English speakers.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 3, 2014

To placate the far right, Coke promised that in next year's Super Bowl commercial, everyone would speak in tongues.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) February 3, 2014

FOX NEWS: The government has no business telling you what to do, unless you don't speak English or have a vagina

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 3, 2014

Ben Franklin started 1st Printing Press w/Hemppaper. Not saying he smoked any, as many sober men fly kites in thunderstorms

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

Twitter is wall to wall coke and Woody Allen. It’s like the 1970s all over again…

— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) February 3, 2014

Chik-Fil-a serves Coke! BOYCOTT!!!!!!

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) February 4, 2014

1933 Century of Progress World's Fair Chicago – Kraft introduces Miracle Whip as a less expensive mayonnaise alternative #WhiteHistoryMoment

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) February 1, 2014

90% of our lives are spent trying to find the little ‘x’ to close pop-up ads.

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) February 1, 2014

Chris Christie offers a devastating new allegation that David Wildstein stole wine at a Bar Mitzvah, to the chagrin of his mother and aunt.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 2, 2014