Motley Moose – Archive

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

Are you touchy-feely or reserved? Do you hug a lot?

Do you ever fly the American flag? Any flag?

Do you often attend theatrical events (including ballet and opera)? How about museum exhibits? What is the last of any of these that you saw?

The Twitter Emitter

If you're a guy who wants to have sex with women, then calls women who talk about having sex trashy, you're an idiot.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) February 6, 2014

I think we all want that American Dream where we can be rich enough to drunkenly kill several people & not go to prison.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 6, 2014

Lucy withdraws support for comprehensive football placekicking reform.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 6, 2014

Not saying Wikileaks is owned by Russian intel, but I am saying there's a suspicious number of dropped definite articles in their writing.

— ☞ Internet, Eh? ☜ (@InternetEh) February 6, 2014

CEILING RUSSIAN SECURITY SERVICES CAT KNOWS ALL ABOUT YOUR SPECIAL FOLDER BURIED IN C://DOCUMENTS/MYFILES #sochi2014

— ¡ Terry ! Candy Saga (@shortstack81) February 6, 2014

Most of the reporters will stop whinging about #SochiProblems once the radioactive polonium-210 kicks in.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 6, 2014

For people who love talking about "responsibility," libertarians have absolutely no grasp of "liability."

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 6, 2014

"AOL's health care expenses went up this yr, just as they have every yr since the company was founded, but this time it's Obamacare's fault"

— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) February 6, 2014

Sochi hotel rooms are so bad that bedbugs are walking out in protest.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 6, 2014

Subway is removing azodicarbonamide from its bread because a Fritos Crunchy Chicken Enchilada Melt should be healthy

— Desus (@desusnice) February 6, 2014

Interrogatories

Do you go along with the re-naming of stadiums and ballparks after corporations, or do you insist on calling them by the original names?

Do you think that the U.K. should dump their royalty, or are they worth maintaining?

Do you lend out things (tools, money, books), even if you know there is little likelihood of seeing them again?

The Twitter Emitter

Which BuzzFeed quiz are you? (A BuzzFeed quiz.)

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) February 5, 2014

I don't know anymore what people mean when they say something is "divisive" or "mean" or "bullying." Those words have been so diluted.

— Jessica W. Luther (@scATX) February 5, 2014

"We're just stenographers. Actual journalism is too much like work." ~ The DC Village Sheeple explain their lazy reporting.

— Libido Shuffle (@eclecticbrotha) February 5, 2014

When someone asks you to not call them something or speak of them in certain ways, why is it hard to respect that?

— Sarafeminista (@FeministaJones) February 5, 2014

Liberals should be more Tigger, less Eeyore.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 5, 2014

The CBO proves Obamacare will destroy the economy by letting sick seniors retire rather than be stuck working for health insurance.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 5, 2014

I'd tell you what 'incredulous' means, but you probably wouldn't believe me.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) February 3, 2014

Productivity is up, but wage compensation is down. Minus health insurance "job lock," what did you THINK was going to happen?

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 6, 2014

I'm glad the media's finally talking about bad heroin batches, cos those really ruin it for the healthy fair-trade organic vegan brands.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 6, 2014

Nice to see Rick Perry can take time out from all the pro-life work he does to enjoy executing someone.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 6, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

What is your favorite source for weather information? Do you have a weather radio?

Nutella: Love it or hate it?

What is your favorite game involving hitting balls with sticks? Are you any good at it?

The Twitter Emitter

Juan Rodríguez Cabrillo didn't discover California so you could talk all foreign #SpeakAmerican

— Gen JC Xtian patriot (@JC_Christian) February 4, 2014

"My school pal for whom I created a job at Port Authority is a fucking monster who should be nowhere near the reins of power I handed him."

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 4, 2014

You will always be applauded in the most affluent quarters when you blame blameless victims for their own misery.

— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) February 4, 2014

Facebook turns 10 today, quickly nearing the age to no longer be interested in Facebook.

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) February 4, 2014

If marriage equality is not Scottish, it's crap!

— David Waldman (@KagroX) February 4, 2014

You'd think I'd be a creationist, but these days I prefer to deny any involvement in this fiasco.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 4, 2014

Will I use this cattle prod on the next person who sends me an @Upworthy link? The answer may shock you.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) February 5, 2014

I want Ken Ham to debate a Pastafarian. Would be more instructive for all involved.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) February 5, 2014

Shorter Ken Ham: The Bible is the word of God and the origin of everything. How do we know? The Bible tells us. #creationdebate

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 5, 2014

REMINDER: if you oppose gay marriage for Biblical reasons you're also banned from eating at Red Lobster or getting a tattoo #Leviticus

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 5, 2014

As relief from that creation debate I'm going to have a discussion on nuclear physics with my cat.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 5, 2014

The CBO proves Obamacare will destroy the economy by letting sick seniors retire rather than be stuck working for health insurance.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 5, 2014

Good morning meese! Happy happy Wednesday!

The common Moose, Alces alces, unlike other members of the deer family, is a solitary animal that doesn’t form herds. Not so its rarer but nearest relative, Alces purplius, the Motley Moose. Though sometimes solitary, the Motley Moose herds in ever shifting groups at the local watering hole to exchange news and just pass the time.

A Moose in my neck of the woods right now would look like this:

Interrogatories

If you could travel to any fictional world, where would you go?

Miracle Whip: Good food or abomination?

Are you ever a klutz? Any embarrassing stories?

The Twitter Emitter

I'm not offended by enamel erosion & high fructose corn syrup but damn you Coke for an America the Beautiful that doesn't hate foreigners.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

You'd think the angry bigots could overlook the America the Beautiful ad & still appreciate coke for the poor labor & environmental record.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

Next up on Fox News: How it's not racist to be mad Coke ruined the Super Bowl with reminders that America isn't all white English speakers.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 3, 2014

To placate the far right, Coke promised that in next year's Super Bowl commercial, everyone would speak in tongues.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) February 3, 2014

FOX NEWS: The government has no business telling you what to do, unless you don't speak English or have a vagina

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 3, 2014

Ben Franklin started 1st Printing Press w/Hemppaper. Not saying he smoked any, as many sober men fly kites in thunderstorms

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 3, 2014

Twitter is wall to wall coke and Woody Allen. It’s like the 1970s all over again…

— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) February 3, 2014

Chik-Fil-a serves Coke! BOYCOTT!!!!!!

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) February 4, 2014

1933 Century of Progress World's Fair Chicago – Kraft introduces Miracle Whip as a less expensive mayonnaise alternative #WhiteHistoryMoment

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) February 1, 2014

90% of our lives are spent trying to find the little ‘x’ to close pop-up ads.

— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) February 1, 2014

Chris Christie offers a devastating new allegation that David Wildstein stole wine at a Bar Mitzvah, to the chagrin of his mother and aunt.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 2, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!