Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

Trayvon Martin and My Old Doctor

Hiya Mooose.

I am desolate.  

I’ve been trying for the last few days to put out something anything about the Trayvon Martin case, but I couldn’t get past my 5 MFer rule.  That means no publish if I use 5 MFers in a paragraph.  

I hope I can someday speak of going forward, but unfortunately today is not that day.

I just kicked this out in the last half an hour, and since it didn’t have any MRers in it, I thought I’d share.

A couple of months ago I had to fire my doctor.  To be honest it wasn’t the doctor he struck me as a compassionate person, and I and my family liked going to him.  However when I went to my last appointment the receptionist threw me out of their office because she feared violence from me.  

I had set a rather normal appointment to have my blood drawn for my annual fasting blood sugar.  Black folks and the sugar is a real issue you know.  The night before I also had a real problem with my tooth and my face looked like Popeye and I was in pain going to the dentist after I had my draw.

When I got there the receptionist told me she had forgotten the nurse who did the work had unexpectedly left 2 weeks before and she had neglected to call any patients.  I most calmly as a person who hadn’t eaten for 16 hours and had a blinding toothache asked why was I in her office at 7 a.m. and what was I supposed to do?

Rather than getting an answer I was profiled.  I had every right to be angry just like Trayvon Martin had every right to walk home from the store, I had every right to demand apologia and good customer service, and although I did, it was in no way angry.  Yet the receptionist an older Latina lady who if she didn’t speak and expose her accent would be considered White found me a threat and asked me to leave.

I had to fire my doctor.  There is no way I would submit myself for care to people who would fear a 50 year old grandfather, and never even consider me like a patient.  The receptionist never even asked me how I was doing so I could have said crappy.

Today I think I might have to fire my country.  Today I have come to the inescapable conclusion that a black child who is murdered may not be treated as a victim.  I live in a country where a party can elect people and consider them Presidential candidates that hire unabashed neo confederates, and their sons who freely adopt the persona of N1ggerkiller not be considered a racist.

I live in a country where we as Black people have been cowed from even naming the phenomenon RACISM that oppresses us, and even in liberal environs it is more damaging to accuse anyone or anything of racism than racism itself.  

I had to fire my doctor.  I didn’t even tell him personally why.  I had a conversation with the office manager where she told me she had spoken to the receptionists co-workers and I was indeed scary, and after that I wasn’t interested in continuing any relationship with the doctor, so I found another one.

Now I’m wondering if I should start looking for another country.  


  1. HappyinVT

    today where she says Trayvon played a role in his death.  I don’t have the stomach to watch.

  2. creamer

    “justice system in the world”, I’m going to puke.

     It would seem that respecting the law should be a two way street.  

  3. bfitzinAR

    I will say there are multiple counties in TX where I grew up that a woman living there gets pretty much the same treatment (well, beat up and raped, not as often murdered) but that’s neither here nor there.  I grew up knowing my country did evil things to people of color.  Black kids were “shot while trying to escape” while handcuffed in the back of a police car.  Black men “died of drowning” in Buffalo Bayou when it didn’t have enough water in it to float a rubber duck.  Sheriff’s had no compunction joking about spending their free time “hairlipping a few niggers” – yes that’s a quote and no I didn’t comment on it at the time being basically too afraid of the man to do so (and only 11 years old).  The only thing I can say is this isn’t what America is supposed to be about – and keep trying to move America in the direction it’s supposed to go.  I doubt that helps you any.

  4. DeniseVelez

    I had to fire a dentist for a similar reason. The good news – the dental practice – which has multiple dentists, got rid of the racist asshole.

    He – the dentist – decided he could treat me with roughness and abusive behavior cause he looked in the chair and all he saw was an older black woman who in his head was a Medicaid patient (the practice takes Medicaid). Read “poor n**gers, and sp*cs”.”

    ‘Cept I’m not one of “those people”. As a medical anthropologist my specialty is in dealing with patient’s rights and abusive health care “professionals”.  Heh.

    So I know exactly how to pressure places like that and what calls to make.

    Looking for another country, and I know the feeling – btdt, isn’t the solution – I know you know that. You need to vent, and I’ve been home cussin’ up a storm and waving my fists.

    The solution, whether or not we live to see it, is in pushing back harder.

    Keep naming and confronting RACISM where ever you see it.



  5. LauraFall

    done that a lot the last few days.

    Adept, this shit is effed up to the extreme.

    And this:

    I live in a country where we as Black people have been cowed from even naming the phenomenon RACISM that oppresses us, and even in liberal environs it is more damaging to accuse anyone or anything of racism than racism itself.  

    Yeah, I’m “firing” a liberal website I’ve been a part of for years now. Almost did so back in ’11. Sure as hell know it’s time to do so now. That may make more sense in a diary I am working on to post here, maybe later this evening.

    This last week has shown me so much about white privilege and racism.

    You are one of the people I have learned so much from and respect for not shutting up even when you were told to STFU so many times. They tried to shut you up, but you didn’t let them, I am grateful for that.  

Comments are closed.