Hello, Bombers! Another day, another dollar. Another day, another stupid Republican Trick. Another day, another gun death. Another day, another…
So let me think of some irrelevant questions to ask you. What was your favorite sitcom ever? Soup: Broth based or creamy? What is your favorite cheese? T-shirts: V-neck or crew neck? Farrah, Jaclyn, or Kate? What is your favorite decade (not counting this one) for fashion? Men in sandals, yes or no? Facial hair, good or bad?
The usual suspects on Twitter have this to say (please note there are some jokes about an imaginary girlfriend. If you missed this, Google Manti Te’o):
NRA would be better off with torches instead of guns since they spend all their time fighting straw men.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 16, 2013
Same folks who say it’s invasive to do background checks for firearms spent 4 years demanding Obama’s birth certificate.
— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 16, 2013
It is so cold in NYC I just saw a dead-body chalk-outline wearing a snuggie.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 16, 2013
WH said to have rooftop missile defense. Elitist Obama won’t let YOUR house have one, though!
— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 16, 2013
Tyranny n. ˈtirənē — Policies Barack Obama campaigned on and won and/or are favored by a majority in public polling.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 16, 2013
Tyranny has gotten so reasonable lately.
— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 16, 2013
NYCMayor Bloomberg officially proclaims January as ‘Dying Christmas Tree Blocking the Sidewalk Month.’
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 16, 2013
Is there anything ethically wrong with an elaborate fake girlfriend scenario if you don’t tell anyone else? Asking for a friend.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 16, 2013
If Barack Obama is signing executive orders inventing imaginary girlfriends for athletes, he should be impeached.
— Duke (@DukeStJournal) January 16, 2013
Te’o sounds like the kind of guy who would send his life savings to a well-connected Nigerian banker in trouble
— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) January 17, 2013
I’d like to return this gun. I just heard the NRA said that it doesn’t actually kill people. #crappyNewYorkercartooncaptions
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 17, 2013
Now, on to the history lesson!