Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

Move Over Ulysses S. Grant

See, I thought we wanted to increase the value of U.S. currency, not mangle it. Not so, says a goofy U.S. congressman from North Carolina, who wants the $50 bill redrawn to feature the face of former President Ronald Reagan.


True, and he’s completely serious:

Republican Rep. Patrick McHenry wants Congress to tell the U.S Treasury to replace former President Ulysses S. Grant on the bill. McHenry announced his bill Tuesday. He has 13 Republican co-sponsors.

Grant was a Union general during the Civil War who led the North to victory and later became the nation’s 18th president.

McHenry said Reagan transformed the nation’s political and economic thinking and argued that “every generation needs its own heroes.”

At first, I thought this was a terrible idea, but the idea of all these GOP ‘heroes’ on our currency got me to thinking.  Here’s what I propose:

One Dollar Bill: Sam the Eagle. They don’t come much more ‘Murican than Sam.


Two Dollar Bill:  Glenn Beck

In short, Beck is a Nimitz-class head-case-an earnest, creepy paranoid with a steamer-trunk-sized load of unresolved guilt that can only be redeemed by convincing everyone within the sound of his voice that Crazy is Normal…and Righteous.

Makes him perfect for the deuce, no?


Five Dollar Bill:  The Buddy Christ.


If libruls weren’t so lazy, Jeebus would love them too.  They’re compassionate conservatives, after all.

Ten Dollar Bill:  Herbert Hoover.  Come on, Reagan’s leadership on economic policy is second only to Hoover’s.  HH gets the nod for the old Sawbuck.


Twenty Dollar Bill:  Richard M. Nixon. The Grandmaster of GOP Asshattery.  Tricky Dick should be on a coin too.  A new coin: 11 cents.


One Hundred Dollar Bill:  The Teabag.  Says it all, no?


Well, do you have any inspiring suggestions?  


  1. Hence forth, in honor of two American heroes, all fixtures similar to those below must come with either a picture of Reagan or a picture of G.W. Bush.

  2. “The Most Dangerous Man in America” the other night.  It’s the story of Daniel Ellsberg, a Rand analyst who provided data to start the Vietnam war, took part in a study to document it’s history and then released that report to the press (the “Pentagon Papers”, which in turn led to the fall of Nixon).

    The most compelling arguments were the recorded words of President Nixon.  

  3. Kysen

    I am disappointed in my fellow Moose. Sexists!! Where are the women?



    (not my best work but fun nonetheless)

    Hope all are well…life has me by the tight and curlies but I hope to return to my 2-steps above Lurker status soon.



    but I want to run this idea up the flagpole.  

    Liz Cheney is now part of some consulting group who put out that ad calling those who defended Guantanemo detainees traitors.  So I got to wondering why Cheney is still campaigning (via his own appearances and now his daughter).  I mean, it’s one thing to have opinions and another to spend money on an ad and salaries and everything to spread your opinion around.

    Could he be campaigning for PNAC (Cheney was one of the original signers)?  The neocons had a far reaching agenda of global hegemony that was only started under Bush.  They wanted to attack Iran, Chile and N. Korea plus who knows who else.  I can’t picture all those guys hatching their scheme over a decade or more and then just sauntering off into the sunset quietly.

    Just something to chew on.

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