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Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

The god I want for Christmas

I had a conversation with someone today.  It’s my usual holiday conversation about the existence of Christ.  As a gratefully recovering Catholic and now proud atheist, I did my usual dance of trying to be considerate and polite and changing the subject.  As is often the case, my friend continued on undeterred with great curiosity about how I cannot believe in any god and what that might mean.  I obliged by quickly employing the word delusional and said that I see no difference between one fairy tale and another.  Predictably, we finished up pretty quickly after that.

(Cross-posted at The National Gadfly.)

However, as I was walking the dog and enjoying the more respectful conversation it provided, I thought about what kind of god I might be interested in.  Nobody ever asks me what kind of god I want.  They always seem to be shoving theirs onto my lap for blind acceptance, fear, intimidation, peer pressure or just a plain old grab for cold, hard cash.

Here is a list of the attributes I would want in a god / supreme being / maker of all this stuff…

  • Does not give a shit if I swear.  I can say anything I like.
  • Does not care if I listen to any priests or anyone else pretending to be god.
  • Does not send me off to kill people.
  • Does not want my money.
  • Does not want me to be afraid of god.
  • Does not care if I believe in god or not.
  • Wants me to use my brain as much as I possibly can, exercise my own judgment and choose my own life.
  • Does not want me to tell / convince / convert anyone else to believe anything about god – ever.
  • Doesn’t really care what I do with my life – it’s mine to live as I choose.
  • Does not care which words I use to define myself or for what reasons I choose them.  This includes gender, race, age, ability, sexuality or any other descriptor I define myself with.
  • Is not keeping track of my fuck-ups as a reason to justify me being punished to suffer for eternity.
  • Does not care if anyone agrees with my definition of god or not.
  • Is happy if I’m happy.
  • Doesn’t allow people to be raped, starved, beaten, tortured or killed.
  • Can move neocons or me to another planet entirely, so that I don’t have to hear or see them – ever again.
  • Would make a public statement that all the ‘holy books’ in the world are a bunch of crap, written down by men, for men over the last few thousand years – and nothing more.
  • Is not a man.

I am not guaranteeing that I would believe in this god, but I would have a hard time not really liking it a whole lot.

You may have your own.  What are they?

You may find this hard to believe, but I do celebrate Christmas.  I celebrate life, each other and the giving of joy.  I wish you all the very same.

– gadfly


  1. sricki

    Doesn’t allow people to be raped, starved, beaten, tortured or killed.

    I think you just described Joe Pesci!

    Christ, I miss Carlin.  

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