Alright!
As promised, here are a few of the better insults that I remember from the Navy:
“I’d say that you were dumber than a bag of hammers, but that would be an insult to a useful tool.”
“You’re holdin’ up the whole Navy, Midshipman David!” (That one is burned into my memory).
“You’re the kind of person that would go looking for the batteries for the “sound-powered” phones, aren’t ya’?” (Can be alternated with a variation: “You’re the kind of person that would go looking for relative bearing grease, aren’t ya’?”)
One of the harshest that I remember is one that I picked up in 1985: