Interrogatories
What is your earliest memory? What would you like to have more of in your life? What would you like to have less of in your life? If you could have back one hour with any departed friend or family member, what would you want to talk to them about? Not counting music, what is your favorite sound?
The Twitter Emitter
My favorite part of the story of Genesis is the way they regrouped after Peter Gabriel left.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2013
If you think humanity is constantly on the verge of beastiality, there are specialists you can talk to about that.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Why is it that every time you try to talk like Christ some Christian calls you a socialist?
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 2, 2013
Other things you can call undocumented Americans: people, neighbors, classmates, workers, parishioners, colleagues, customers, friends.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 2, 2013
“99 barrels of oil in the ground, 99 barrels of oil. Take 1 down, spill it around, 98 barrels of oil in the ground” #noXLpipeline #FuckExxon
— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) April 2, 2013
I’m a big believer in the 2nd amendment — especially your right to be well-regulated.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO USE A TERM THAT’S OFFENSIVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CAN EASILY KEEP MY PARTY OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. #tcot
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Obama announces an initiative to map the Republican brain to figure out why they think using ‘illegal’ helps them. fb.me/uKvw30M9
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Pretty sure banning giant sodas leads to bestiality.
— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) April 2, 2013
Very rude, licorice jelly beans looking like grape.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 2, 2013
I’m not saying it’s ideal, but how do we know who is and who isn’t Aryan Brotherhood without detaining all white people?
— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) April 2, 2013
I dream of a world in which nuclear war is all solar.
— Nein. (@NeinQuarterly) April 2, 2013
Let’s turn the safety net into a barbed wire fence, and name it after Reagan.
— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 2, 2013
Kim Jung Un says North Korea will go to war unless South Korea likes his Facebook page: “I’m tired of paying for sponsored posts.”
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013
The Appalachian trail shouldn’t lead to congress #StopSanford
— Peter Flom (@peterflom) April 3, 2013
Never fear, Tea Party, you can evade Obama’s $100 million initiative to map the human brain with a tinfoil hat, which you may already own.
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013
“Family Values” Republicans Pick Adulterer To Represent Them In South Carolina, Will Continue To Lecture Gay People On Sanctity Of Marriage
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 3, 2013
If corporations really are people then polygamy is already legal.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 3, 2013