Interrogatories
How good is your concentration; can you simply shut out unwanted distractions, or do they drive you to distraction? How susceptible are you to the lure of shiny objects? What kind of shiny objects (it doesn’t really have to shine – it could be that new book you got in the mail) is your favorite? What is your favorite holiday and why?
The Twitter Emitter
If Obama is serious about stopping war, he should send Mitch McConnell to North Korea. There’s nothing McConnell can’t filibuster!
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 1, 2013
Just figured out the problem with having two kids- it’s that you have two kids.
— Sam Seder (@SamSeder) April 1, 2013
The part where Ser Loras changes his sigil to a red equal sign was a bit of a surprise. #GoT
— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) April 1, 2013
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that’s every day.
— Nick Bilton (@nickbilton) April 1, 2013
Pause a moment to feel the skepticism you have applied to everything on the Internet today. Consider continuing this after April 1.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 1, 2013
Good thing that no couple of opposite sexes ever got married for financially expedient reasons or that would totally ruin it for EVERYONE.
— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) April 1, 2013
“What do we want?” “A cure for ADHD!” “When do we want it?” “Squirrel!”
— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) April 1, 2013
North Koreans wouldn’t be worried about our guided-missile destroyer if they all owned shotguns.
— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) April 2, 2013
If mankind has learned one thing from human history, I’d be stunned.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2013
Happy Belated Easter! I was going to tweet this yesterday, but then it wouldn’t have made any sense.
— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) April 2, 2013
At this point, it is probably considered to be more politically damaging to like Nickelback than to support gay marriage.
— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) April 2, 2013
Pentagon investigation reveals that DARPA didn’t invent the internet: “It appears it was the work of a publicist hired by cute cats.”
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 2, 2013