Oh well, it had to happen. Another Monday rolls around. The worst of all Mondays, coming on the heels of that missing hour (did you know hours had heels?). Speaking of missing hours, I really need to get a new alarm clock that doesn’t automatically reset the time according to the 1986-2006 DST. But, if I do that, you know Congress will change it again.
Interrogatories
What once perfectly good words can you think of that have been ruined by media overuse and/or misuse? What do you like to do to unwind and relax? When did you first start using the internet? How many real-life friends have you made online? If you haven’t met anyone in person that you met online, how do we all know that you aren’t really a dog?
The Twitter Emitter
Another true library story. A college student asked me for the state of the union address. Turns out she thought it was a street address
— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) March 10, 2013
It doesn’t seem particularly brave or manly to shoot “intruders” you never even visually confirm as strangers before you fire.
— David Waldman (@KagroX) March 10, 2013
Grand bargain should include a chained DST policy to only save the daylight we really need.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 10, 2013
I take all your unanswered prayers and recycle them as your unfulfilled aspirations. #green
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 10, 2013
Paul Ryan: “The American people sent a very clear message about #Obamacare in November. My plan clearly says ‘fuck you, American people'”
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 10, 2013
That family and society so often close ranks around the abuser instead of the victim means that the problem runs much deeper than supposed.
— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) March 10, 2013
New Paul Ryan budget repeals 2012 election result: “When Scalia hears how many ‘urban’ voters there were, I think he’ll back me on this”
— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 10, 2013
ATTENTION DRONE PILOTS: THE PIZZA PLACE NEAR ME IS TERRIBLE.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) March 10, 2013
They’re really stretching out this Pope search. Your average Kardashian would be married, divorced and engaged to someone else by now.
— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) March 11, 2013
Naming an airport after Reagan is like naming a women’s shelter after Jack the Ripper
— Peter Flom (@peterflom) March 11, 2013
I live in NYC, where my Governor wants to legalize pot while my Mayor wants to ban junk food.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 11, 2013
If someone’s profile says they are strong on “Liberty” it means THEIRS not YOURS
— Pirate Wench (@PirateWench) March 11, 2013
I would say at least dry it out after killing it next time. RT @realdonaldtrump: Re my hair-Should I change it? What do you think?
— Darren Pardee (@d_pardee) March 11, 2013