Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Have you ever been in the cockpit of a plane? Have you ever flown a plane?

What’s the smallest plane you’ve been on? The largest? Have you ever flown in a helicopter?

Would you go to the Sochi Olympics, given the opportunity? Would you take your family?

The Twitter Emitter

This is what happens when you don’t endorse Chris Christie Peyton Manning! #TimeForSomeTroubleInTheMeadowlands

— Teresa Kopec (@TeresaKopec) February 3, 2014

Denver's official elev. is 5280 ft, enabling most residents to earn easy membership to the otherwise exclusive Mile High Club

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 3, 2014

Well, a great day in NJ, as human growth hormone-injected monsters gave each other brain damage for a tax-free, anti-trust exempt monopoly.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 3, 2014

MSNBC deeply apologizes for not being able to stand by our own opinions. This does not reflect our opinion.

— MSNBC is Sorry (@MSNBCApologizes) January 30, 2014

.@cathymcmorris Hi, Congresswoman. Obamacare gave me gout. Also it burned my toast this morning. You can use this in a speech if you want.

— Jamison Foser (@jamisonfoser) January 31, 2014

We never hear anything from Rick Astley these days. It's almost like he's given us up, and let us down.

— Jennifer Lawrence (@itsjenIawrence) February 1, 2014

February, oh, right– time for 28 straight days of Fox News complaining about how it's totally unfair that there's no White History Month.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 1, 2014

If you believe in the groundhog but not climate scientists, could you please not reproduce? It's very important. Thanks in advance.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 1, 2014

Koch Industries announces plans to add 2,000 new state and local officials to its payroll in 2014

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 1, 2014

Protip: deporting Justin Bieber won't make his music go away.

— John Aziz (@azizonomics) February 1, 2014

Interrogatories

Is there any song that would always make you sing along?

Do you start every morning with coffee or tea? How do you make it? If you don’t do either of those, what DO you do?

Do you care what you wear when you take out the trash, get the paper or mail, etc., or do you just go as is?

The Twitter Emitter

No, really, your conspiracy theories are on point. It's those other conspiracy theorists that are the crazy ones.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 30, 2014

What every woman really wants is for a man to drag her to the bedroom, throw her on the bed, and then clean the house while she takes a nap.

— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) January 30, 2014

It's a continuing mystery why sluts, illegals, Urbans, Sinners & parasites have turned their back on the GOP.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 30, 2014

Retirements of Henry Waxman and George Miller totally devastating to congressional mustache caucus.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) January 30, 2014

The constant flood of overt racism from today's right is bad enough, but the whining when they're called out on it is insufferable.

— Charles Johnson (@Green_Footballs) January 30, 2014

@Yardarm756DD @Reince Every time a #ConservativeIdiotMale speaks about ANATOMY HE DOESN'T POSSESS, 1,000 women register as DEMOCRATS.

— Tally (@bardgal) January 30, 2014

Justin Bieber really is our King Joffrey.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) January 30, 2014

The Invisible Hand of the Market in Your Pocket.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 31, 2014

Not only do I work in mysterious ways, I only work part-time.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 31, 2014

Interrogatories

Have you ever been to a rodeo? Polo match? Other equestrian events?

How about car races, rallies, etc.? Ever drag race?

What bumper stickers do you have on your car?

The Twitter Emitter

I don't exist. What's your excuse?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 30, 2014

Motley Crue breakup sends shockwaves through the Unnecessary Umlaut community.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 30, 2014

"Water? Roads? Who fucking cares about that shit? LET'S KILL SOME PEOPLE!" – The Romans, right at the end of their empire.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 30, 2014

Does stress raise your alcohol tolerance? I'm asking for a friend…

— Elon James White (@elonjames) January 30, 2014

Bristol Palin criticizes Wendy Davis’ role as a mother: Irony is dead.

— Don Drennon (@dondrennon) January 28, 2014

i fear that my generation is dying off, leaving the world to people who love and want to help each other. they must be stopped #foxnewsCHAT

— the big beef (@BronzeHammer) January 29, 2014

Maybe if I rebranded baguettes as "longform bread", people would throw money at me?

— Ed Yong (@edyong209) January 29, 2014

Related: I'm starting to get a sense that Michele Bachmann doesn't really understand how this whole government thing works.

— delrayser (@delrayser) January 29, 2014

In 16 states, NY/1 reporter Michael Scotto would have had permission to shoot GOP Rep. Michael Grimm dead last night http://t.co/DI6tMnDf4S

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 29, 2014

Rep. Steve Stockman: "Yes, I walked out of the State of the Union. I had to. The Secret Service wouldn't let me fondle my gun in there."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 30, 2014

Interrogatories

What is your favorite kind of puzzle?

What would you like to say “Nevermore” to?

What was the last thing, outside of a cashier line, that you waited in line for?

The Twitter Emitter

there will be FOUR GOP "responses" to the SOTU. Because one massive gaffe is just not enough #uniteblue #ladems @BobbyJindal

— Edward Branley (@YatPundit) January 29, 2014

REPORT: The Duck Dynasty guy's beard has been asked to give a Republican response to the State of the Union.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 29, 2014

Sarah Palin expressed sadness at the death of Pete Seeger, saying she loved the songs Old Time Rock And Roll and Night Moves.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) January 29, 2014

It's emblematic of what the Republicans have become that their idols are a clean cut yuppie family dressed in hillbilly costumes.

— Joy Reid (@TheReidReport) January 29, 2014

I'm watching SOTU tonight while suffering from food poisoning which, I imagine, won't be much diff from watching SOTU w/o food poisoning.

— Brad Friedman (@TheBradBlog) January 29, 2014

If you think a political party hanging the entire country out to dry due to a tantrum is less horrific than a website glitch, you're a moron

— Assassin Grrrl (@AssassinGrl) January 29, 2014

GOP says tax cuts help economy. GOP kills Obama jobs plan that's 60% tax cuts. GOP blames Obama. Your uncle nods. #sotu

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 29, 2014

You know how dumb some of these right-wingers are? They think socialist is an insult.

— Angelo Carusone (@GoAngelo) January 29, 2014

@mmnimmz President Obama said a woman earned 70 cents for every dollar a man makes. That's socialism. Why can't she earn her own money?

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) January 29, 2014

Damn, my cat just gave a response to the #SOTU

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) January 29, 2014

Interrogatories

It’s National Kazoo Day and National Clash Day. What Clash song would you most like to hear on the kazoo?

What is the most absurd think that Republican males believe?

Have you ever written notes on your hand like Palin? What kind of notes?

The Twitter Emitter

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon

— Chris Walker (@cwalkertime23) January 26, 2014

Steven Tyler looks like some Real Housewife who was not asked back for season 2 #Grammys

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 27, 2014

My life is so boring Big Brother stopped watching.

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) January 27, 2014

New Gallup poll says 67% of Americans dissatisfied with wealth distribution. 7% are "very satisfied" and I would like what they are smoking.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) January 27, 2014

Hillary Clinton hasn't driven a car since 1996, which was just 14 months before Rand Paul last read a newspaper.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 27, 2014

Cokehead Tray Radel Resigning From Congress To Spend More Time With His Coke http://t.co/6X74snVBVW

— Wonkette (@Wonkette) January 27, 2014

Rand Paul reminds you that bringing his dad into it is off limits. Oh, and 1 time Hillary Clinton's husband got impeached.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 28, 2014

Religious freedom means taxpayers should have to fund the teaching of creationism but your employer should decide what medications you get.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 28, 2014

Look, I warned you people about this: White House reveals that "any American who saw Macklemore perform at the Grammys is now gay married."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 28, 2014

Why can’t my millions make me immune to criticism?

— Lisa McIntire (@LisaMcIntire) January 28, 2014

Interrogatories

What is the most exotic place you have been?

What is your least favorite animal and why?

Did you ever hidden something then forget where you hid it?

The Twitter Emitter

If ignorance is bliss why is the world so unhappy?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 23, 2014

Don't women understand that sex is a guy thing?

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 24, 2014

Hey, inmates? If any of you wind up dating Hunter Moore in prison, be sure to post pics without his consent, k?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2014

We now live in the country the NRA wanted for us: school and mall shootings all but routine, no hope of any action at all by lawmakers.

— Joy Reid (@TheReidReport) January 25, 2014

Massive criminal gang in New Jersey identified as the Chris Christie administration

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 26, 2014

Sarah Palin: "We should oppose the Trans Pacific Partnership. It's just not right to be making trade deals only with gay people."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 26, 2014

I WISH THE GRAMMYS STILL HONORED TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE: SONNY & CHER. IKE AND TINA, CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE #tcot

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 26, 2014

The new danger is apparently yahoos who read about "Stand Your Ground" in the papers and then hang out by their windows with scoped rifles.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 26, 2014

I am ready for a night that truly honors the very best in music, but until then the Grammys will have to do.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 27, 2014

Y’all really think my Dad is picking who wins the Grammys? Does YOUR dad listen to pop music?

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) January 27, 2014

Paul McCartney and Willie Nelson are proof that marijuana kills. #Grammys

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) January 27, 2014

OMG, it’s almost 2015! January is almost over.

Interrogatories

It’s National Compliment Day! Say some nice things.

But, since it’s also Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day, try to say those nice things like a grizzled prospector might. (Why am I imagining early Walter Brennan?)

What is the best use of peanut butter?

Would you know a Justin Bieber song if it grabbed you by the throat and tried to strangle you?

The Twitter Emitter

@lizzwinstead The only thing that can stop a bad teen millionaire with an egg is a good teen millionaire with an egg.

— Thee Alan Smithee (@TheeAlanSmithee) January 23, 2014

This Bieber kid is a great example of the Canadian menace and why we need to shutdown our northern border

— john r stanton (@dcbigjohn) January 23, 2014

A fifth scheduled State of the Union response has just accidentally shot itself.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 23, 2014

Every time a conservative describes basic necessities like health care, housing, and food as "sugar", I worry about their insulin levels.

— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) January 23, 2014

I"d let Beiber go for the DUI then lock him up again for aggravated auto-tune & lip-synching.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 23, 2014

I'm fairly certain the GOP strategy is to drown us in stupid until our collective head explodes.

— Imani ABL (@AngryBlackLady) January 23, 2014

I'm not going to talk about Justin Bieber's arrest, because it's obviously a FALSE FLAG by Obama to distract us from Bengahzi.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 24, 2014

@TeaPartyCat Damn liberal media liars, Bieber wasn't drag racing, he was trying to escape the Obamacare death panels that were pursuing him

— Kerby Forges (@KBR_37) January 24, 2014

If you don't like income inequality, stop whining & buy yourself some Senators.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2014

Interrogatories

It’s National Pie Day, who would you like to see get a pie in the face?

What famous person that you should like (or all your friends like) rubs you the wrong way for no good (or very superficial) reason?

How are your feet? Too big, too little, high arches or flat, easy or hard to fit shoes on? Do you attract foot fetishists?

Do you have any imaginary friends? Did you when you were a child?

The Twitter Emitter

Still trying to understand why someone counting divorce from the time their marriage ended rather than when it was finalized is a scandal.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) January 22, 2014

I'll be plagiarizing all Shia LaBeouf's tweets so I apologize if you see something you wrote.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 22, 2014

In my humble opinion, my opinions are the best.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 23, 2014

You're against abortion AND birth control coverage. Then I'm not going to ask your opinion on chastity belts.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 23, 2014

Calling me pretentious is hardly the ne plus ultra of insults.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) January 22, 2014

There's actually nothing I can think of about keeping a brain-dead pregnant woman alive as an incubator that comports with "God's plan"

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 23, 2014

Why send your child to school when we have factories?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 23, 2014

The ancient Egyptians stopped worshiping Cats as Gods over 2500 years ago. Nobody told the cats.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 22, 2014

So I am going to work out with a trainer until I get back into the gym thing. Guess what his name is? :::drum roll, please::::   DRONE!

No, really.

Interrogatories

What is the answer to “Meow?”

What was your favorite recurring bit on “Laugh-In?”

Are there any childhood games (not board games) that seem to have been forgotten by subsequent generations?

What is your browser and why?

The Twitter Emitter

Today, cold air is stopping Washington from working. Usually it's hot air that does it.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) January 21, 2014

darmok, when the stores were out of milk #darmokweather

— myownpetard (@myownpetard) January 21, 2014

Thigh Reduction Creme? What the Hell does it do to your fingers when you rub it on?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 21, 2014

BREAKING: People of Illinois surprised to learn newly indicted Gov. Bob McDonnell NOT from Illinois.

— Joe Schmitt (@joeschmitt) January 21, 2014

More: "A woman can't be trusted w/ decisions about her own body, but multinat'l corps. can make decisions affecting mankind w/o regulation"

— GottaLaff (@GottaLaff) January 21, 2014

I eagerly await the next Wendy Davis scandal, wherein we learn that sometimes her husband would cook dinner while she mowed the lawn.

— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) January 21, 2014

I'm a Right Wing Tea Pot, Short and Stout. Here is my outrage, Here is my pout."

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) January 22, 2014

Bob McDonnell had a state, E-I-E-I-O

— Ian (@iboudreau) January 22, 2014

I've always admired David Vitter's firm belief that marriage should between a man and a woman who will forgive your prostitution scandals.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 22, 2014

Make sure to check on neighbors to be sure they are warm and see if they have better snacks and maybe get their WiFi password if you can.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 22, 2014

Interrogatories

How much have you, personally, been affected by climate change?

Did you make up secret languages and/or code words as a kid so you could talk in front of others without them understanding? Got any examples you recall?

What is the easiest vice you ever gave up? Why did you give it up?

The Twitter Emitter

I've reached Peak Anonymous Source. Whenever I see one now, I just assume the journalist is lying.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 17, 2014

The invisible hand of the market won't even give West Virginians a reach around.

— Karl (@JerryMander) January 18, 2014

Whatever happens is God's will. Except when you're brain dead and pregnant in #Texas. Then God is wrong and we'll put you on life support.

— John (@linnyitssn) January 18, 2014

Common sense is so rare it should be considered a superpower.

— Grumpy Cat (@__GrumpyCat) January 18, 2014

Allowing the #fracking industry to do their own testing is like letting a drunk driver do their own sobriety test. http://t.co/3xn5C8U8vv

— TXsharon (@TXsharon) January 20, 2014

The 85 richest people are as wealthy as the poorest 3.5 billion. And those 85 people would like you to stop punishing success. Thank you.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 20, 2014

I’m so glad I don’t write about sports for a living. Too divisive.

— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) January 20, 2014

The same people who say the U.S. is the greatest country on earth hate its President and the majority of its people.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) January 21, 2014

I don't think you exist.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 21, 2014

"As long as you tweet a quote from me on my holiday, you can ignore my devotion to social justice." - Martin Luther King Jr.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 21, 2014