Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

What do you like on your pizza?

Do you enjoy heights? Does crossing bridges or high overpasses bother you? How about narrow, twisting, mountain roads? Upper floors of tall buildings with big glass windows?

What were your favorite childhood books?

What is your favorite home treatment for colds and flu?

The Twitter Emitter

Sarah Palin: "Well, of course the Tea Party has an alternative plan to Obamacare. It's the Affordable Care Act, but Obama has blocked it."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 11, 2013

Hint to Sarah Palin and everyone else; if you start a sentence "this isn't racist" don't finish it.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) November 12, 2013

Black Friday – when the 1% tells the 99% to go shop and save the economy.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 12, 2013

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by because I was staring down at my phone.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 12, 2013

Fox News just apologized for not running the story 60 Minutes apologized for.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 12, 2013

Conservatives outraged that Obama lied about keeping your health insurance are also outraged you keep mentioning George W Bush

— Political Line (@PoliticaILine) November 12, 2013

60 Minutes investigating what Obama knew about Anna Nicole Smith's murder.

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) November 12, 2013

Poverty in the Phillipines no doubt contributed to the death toll but detracts from the dollar amount that would make republicans care

— Karl (@JerryMander) November 12, 2013

If public nudity is so empowering, Miley Cyrus, why have I just been handcuffed by a policeman?

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) November 10, 2013

Interrogatories

Are there any words you mispronounced as a child (such as “basketti” instead of spaghetti) that you recall? Are there any that your family still uses now?

How do you feel about the rapidly changing language (especially with the onset of the internet)? Are you happy with changes, or do you wish all those new words and new meanings for old words would just go away?

What day does your trash get picked up? What agency does it, or is it a private business? Do they recycle?

Is there (or has there been) any actor that you like so much you would go see any film he (or she) is in?

The Twitter Emitter

i can't relax unless i'm tense about something.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 7, 2013

Marco Rubio: "Don't jump to conclusions about Chris Christie's win. I still have a chance –sip– to win the –sip– nomination."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

What's it called again when you can't remember what things are called?

— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) November 7, 2013

Hey wait a minute, Obamacare, don't take away that thrilling feeling of maybe going bankrupt when I get sick.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 8, 2013

Book of Ayn 2:12 @studio_gal: @ladyblue49 Jesus said, "Suffer the poor to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and let them eat cake."

— techweenie (@techweenie) November 9, 2013

Lindsey Graham is now expanding his threat to hold up all nominations until he gets answers on Benghazi. Now he wants the questions too.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 10, 2013

BREAKING: Hawks who secretly plotted for war in the Middle East accuse President Obama of secretly plotting for peace.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 10, 2013

Sad that if you don't bomb it, shut it down, deny it rights, defund it or discriminate against it you can't feel good about yourself.

— James Morrison (@JamesPMorrison) November 10, 2013

Lindsay Graham and John McCain both hailing France for scuttling Iran deal. French Fries back on Senate cafe menu?

— Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch) November 10, 2013

Lindsey Graham: "So the 60 Minutes witness lied about Benghazi? Does that change anything? No, because I still have two primary opponents."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 10, 2013

I got the job! I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I … (got the job).

Interrogatories

Have you ever actually seen a Ronald Reagan film? Which one(s)? Any good?

Have you ever seen any Schwarzenegger films? Did you enjoy them? Would you go see any new ones he makes?

It’s Abet and Aid Punsters Day! How can you help the punsters in your life?

Do you know the words to the National Anthem? The Pledge of Allegiance? The Preamble? The Petticoat Junction theme?

The Twitter Emitter

Glad to see Rand Paul and Chris Christie back to the serious business of calling each other names. http://t.co/arSbAs9yl9

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 6, 2013

The federal prison population has ballooned 790% since 1980, and yet before 2009 President Obama did nothing to address it!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Darrell Issa to call hearings to determine if Obama closed Blockbuster to hurt seniors who still go there for tapes to watch on their VCR.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

The tragedy is that 15 million people lost their insurance because Obamacare changed the rules, instead of losing it when they got sick.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

The difference between having your insurance cancelled because you're sick vs. because of #ACA is that with Obamacare you get #abetterplan

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 7, 2013

Rand Paul will now be cutting and pasting at http://t.co/jnbUTSK5PW. Presumably he will be plagiarizing old Ben Domenesch columns.

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 7, 2013

There's no use worrying about things you can't control. And the good news is, that's pretty much everything.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 7, 2013

President Obama is making the largest attempt to cover the uninsured in American history — and it's about time he apologized for it!

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 7, 2013

So odd that God allows Chuck Todd.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 7, 2013

I have to stop talking to my friends about mitosis. It’s such a divisive topic.

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) November 8, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever had an encounter with a bear?

Did you ever babysit? What was your pay? Ever hire a babysitter? What did you pay?

Are you good at untangling knots? How about holiday lights? How are you with the garden hose, do you keep it nice and neat?

The Twitter Emitter

The bottom is usually reached when you are falling faster than you can lower your standards. #topoli

— Jim Coyle (@coyleWERDZ) November 3, 2013

The fact that K-Mart is open on Thanksgiving Day comes as a shock to those of us who didn't realize it was open the other 364.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) November 5, 2013

The real victim here is the dead animal Rand Paul stole his wig from.

— Tina (@trcfwtt) November 5, 2013

Although @ColbertReport is fabulous, he referred to ticks and spiders as "insects" rather than Arachnida. O, the arthropod-anity…

— Bill Nye (@TheScienceGuy) November 5, 2013

Apparently if you're a straight white male in politics, there's nothing that will stop you from thinking you deserve to hold office.

— Sally Kohn (@sallykohn) November 5, 2013

When people grill him about plagiarism, Rand Paul should just quote from the Wikipedia entry for Originality http://t.co/F7dDLI7NRx

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) November 6, 2013

RT @_el_sid_: …has anyone ever seen Rush Limbaugh and Rob Ford together at the same time?!?!?

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Mark Obenshain called to reassure Ken Cuccinelli that "as Attorney General I'll carry on your great work oppressing women and gays."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Well it looks like stop and frisk will be going away from the streets of Bee York, but not the bedrooms of Virginia

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) November 6, 2013

I like when people leave Congress 'for more time with their family.' Cos those guys only get , like, 150 days off per year.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 6, 2013

Interrogatories

What sports do you follow/enjoy?

What sports do you hate?

What’s your favorite recorded sax solo?

Do you get lost easily, or are you really good at getting around strange places?

The Twitter Emitter

I'd like to commend Toronto mayor Rob Ford for keeping drugs out of the hands of young people.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 5, 2013

I will now only vote for candidates who've smoked crack. THIS IS THE NEW BAR, PEOPLE.

— Highly scatological (@RaisingOneBrow) November 5, 2013

Majority of Canadians say they would still rather keep Rob Ford than take Ted Cruz back

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 5, 2013

Toronto mayor: Yes, I smoked crack, but in my defense, I was drunk at the time.

— Seth Masket (@smotus) November 5, 2013

Early exit polls show McAuliffe leading Cuccinelli by 25% among those with an expectation of engaging in oral sex.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 6, 2013

Looks like the only person banning sodomy in Virginia tonight is Mrs. Cuccinelli

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) November 6, 2013

The Cooch has lost! SODOMY FOR EVERYBODY! #VAGOV

— JoeMyGod (@JoeMyGod) November 6, 2013

Terry McAuliffe has won the governorship of Virginia. Ken Cuccinelli plans to ask for a deep, invasive probe of the election results.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) November 6, 2013

GOP probably shouldn't feel too bad. Decent odds of "Will McAuliffe's Woes Drag Down Hillary?" headlines all throughout 2016

— Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) November 6, 2013

McAuliffe won. Im so excited I cant contain mysel-oooh look. A commercial where kittens are wearing sunglasses.

— D'Brickashaw (@DragonflyJonez) November 6, 2013

Here's hoping that the GOP does a deep probing into the reason why Ken Cuccinelli lost. Or maybe they could just ask women & young people

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) November 6, 2013

Interrogatories

What’s your favorite kind of donut or other deep fried pastry goodie?

What’s your favorite bagel, and what do you top it with?

Have you been the subject of a surprise party? Ever surprise someone else?

Describe the sound your doorbell makes. Do you always answer the door?

The Twitter Emitter

The fact that men rape women, men rape men, women rape men, and women rape women proves that we don't have a rape problem. Got it.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) November 4, 2013

Apparently, this is the last week you can tell all your friends you were into Twitter before they went corporate.

— pastordan (@pastordan) November 4, 2013

Great job by the Senate. Unfortunately, the GOP House is the ENDA the line for any bills on equality.

— Dante Apollo Atkins (@DanteAtkins) November 4, 2013

somewhere in hell bin Laden is still chuckling over his jar of honey. "First you get the honey," he hisses. "Then you get the power."

— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) November 4, 2013

PLEASE NOTE: If you use your religion to deny people rights, opportunity and medical care, that's not "religious freedom."

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 4, 2013

If these big corporations believe we don't need government, I don't see why they employ all those lobbyists.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 5, 2013

When the Wampanoag fed the Pilgrims on Thanksgiving they didn't realize they'd just begun Socialism for Illegal Immigrants.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 5, 2013

Did Rand Paul also cut and paste the thing on his head? #WentThere #CrankySueMe

— GottaLaff (@GottaLaff) November 5, 2013

People need to lay off Rand Paul. His "I have been to the mountaintop" speech is one of the greatest things I've ever heard.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) November 5, 2013

You can tell @SenRandPaul has no fear of being called a plagiarist by the way his websites are being scrubbed of content.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) November 5, 2013

Rand Paul apparently thought it was "Atlas Cribbed."

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 5, 2013

There’s an election in Virginia today:

Ken Cuccinelli is proving that women can still vote.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 28, 2013

Ken Cuccinelli and Christine O'Donnell would be a dream ticket for people who don't want their genitals touched ever, even by themselves

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 29, 2013

Ken Cuccinelli: "I'm the only candidate who cares enough to make sure your younger neighbors aren't committing oral and anal sex. "

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 5, 2013

Interrogatories

We need a major scandal, celebrity or Republican, to fill the cable news hours. What would your favorite scandal look like? (h/t KelleyRN2 for the question)

What is the best dessert of all time?

What was the last foolhardy thing you did? (It doesn’t have to be major.)

What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten (even just a taste)?

The Twitter Emitter

I just tried to buy a gun online. Now I know why Republicans think healthcare.gov is slow.

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) November 2, 2013

Me: I’ll have a turkey sandwich. Mold: Hey, what’s up? Me: I’m having a grilled cheese sandwich is what’s up.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) November 2, 2013

Look on the bright side: that Rand is a plagiarist makes it unlikely he's the author of dad's racist newsletters. #lemonade

— Dean Barker (@deanbarker) November 2, 2013

And Jesus said: "Love they neighbor, unless they are gay or poor or liberal or a RINO or anyone who disagrees with you. USA! USA!"

— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) November 2, 2013

Troubling thought. If Obama really is an inept buffoon, what does that make those who keep losing to him? http://t.co/5sswLMssXg

— davidfrum (@davidfrum) November 2, 2013

If LAX shooting is recognized as domestic terror perhaps response will be restrictions on purchases of assault weapons. Ha, I kid! I kid!

— Michael Cohen (@speechboy71) November 3, 2013

The Republican Party will soon collapse under its own white.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 3, 2013

Rand Paul: "People accusing me of plagiarism are hacks and haters, but I'm not scared. The only thing I have to fear is fear itself."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 3, 2013

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

— Eastwood (@Eagle_Vision) November 3, 2013

#RandPaul: "My initial response to the plagiarism charges would've been stronger, but #Wikipedia crashed while I was writing it."

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) November 3, 2013

Interrogatories

For National Write a Novel Month, have you ever competed in nanowrimo? (See link at bottom of page.) If not, have you ever attempted, completed, or published a novel? Short stories? Fan fiction?

What is the hottest and coldest temperature you ever experienced, and where was it? What’s the biggest storm you ever experienced?

How old were you when you first read on your own?

For Family Stories Month, do you have a collection of good family stories? Do you have any you want to share?

The Twitter Emitter

I like how hospital food is apparently designed to make you a repeat customer .

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 28, 2013

Voter fraud, one problem that America doesn't have, is the only problem the GOP is trying to solve.

— HELL-OL GOP (@LOLGOP) October 28, 2013

Say what you want about McDonald's but they do an amazing job of making Chicken McNuggets taste like chicken.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 28, 2013

The French celebrate Halloween by handing out ennui to children.

— OberFacts (@OberFacts) October 31, 2013

Appellate Court reinstates Texas abortion law, though some were suspicious when Perry, Abbott & Dewhurst were judges at the Halloween party.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 1, 2013

Shouldn’t Angry Birds Star Wars have started with Version 4.0?

— ¡socratic! (@socratic) November 1, 2013

Out of candy. Any kid who comes to my door will now receive a free anecdote about the time I met Lou Reed.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 1, 2013

Trick-or-treaters in Houston backed up at Ted Cruz's house for last 21 hours while he lectures them on the evils of Obamacare.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 1, 2013

Kids in my neighborhood know they get no candy unless they lead.

— Ron Fournier (@ron_fournier) October 31, 2013

Cory Booker sworn in to the Senate today, which means Newark firefighters will have to do their jobs instead of letting him save everyone.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 1, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you get trick-or-treaters where you live? If so, is your place a popular destination? What kind of candy do you hand out?

What is your favorite Halloween candy?

When did you last dress up for Halloween? What were you?

What is the coolest costume that ever showed up at your door (or your party?)

Do you ever attend your city’s Halloween parade (if they have one)?

The Twitter Emitter

I need to be careful before using a hip phrase, in case it's already been used in a commercial.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) October 28, 2013

I'm going as Julianne Hough for Halloween. Hope I can pull off Blondeface.

— Cryptnabber (@Crutnacker) October 28, 2013

Obama is an evil man for eavesdropping on private phone calls, say employees of Rupert Murdoch at FOX News. #p2

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 28, 2013

Tea Party: "We must uphold the Constitution" SCOTUS: "Obamacare = constitutional" Federal Judge: "Texas anti-women law = unconstitutional"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 28, 2013

Give a man a fish, get primaried as a fishgiver.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 30, 2013

I was thinking of starting a Twitter union but then I realized there was no line we wouldn't cross.

— Cryptnabber (@Crutnacker) October 30, 2013

You know what we need is more white people telling black people why they shouldn't be offended by black face #p2 #tcot

— RagingTeabagger (@RagingTeabagger) October 30, 2013

Good news bad news. He had a nervous breakdown trying to register for a health plan. It was covered.

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) October 30, 2013

I wonder how long it would take a giraffe to throw up.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) October 30, 2013

I'd like to point out that during the time the NSA was spying on our allies, our allies never attacked us. The program works.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) October 30, 2013

Interrogatories

[channeling the HUAC]: Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Communist Party? Republican Party?

Not to get too personal, but do you still have all the parts you were born with? (circumcised males need not mention that)

Candy Corn: Food or flavored wax?

For Haunted Refrigerator Day, assuming yours was haunted, what would it be that haunted it?

The Twitter Emitter

The more you know, the more you wish you didn't.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 28, 2013

Rubio gives up on immigration reform, will focus instead on "getting abs like Paul Ryan by 2016"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 28, 2013

Marco Rubio could win the Tea Party back in a second if he would announce he's primarying Marco Rubio.

— HELL-OL GOP (@LOLGOP) October 28, 2013

NSA surveillance of 35 world leaders' phones produced "little reportable intelligence" but we can assume many terrible sexts.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) October 28, 2013

Anyone who hates Obamacare exchanges is still free to buy insurance on the individual market. I hear it's super easy w/o the gov't involved

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) October 28, 2013

NASCAR had its first African American race winner since 1963, though Donald Trump says "it's not official until I see a birth certificate."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 28, 2013

Fox News panelist rattling off the coverage "most people don’t need” includes substance abuse which is weird bc they’re obviously high.

— Ana SCARY Cox (@anamariecox) October 28, 2013

Bong water taffy was also met with limited success.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) October 28, 2013

Most people who believe in intelligent design are evidence against it.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) October 28, 2013

Obamacare ate my baby!

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) October 28, 2013

Oh, wait… my insurance went up every year before Obama was even elected. He IS the anti-Christ!

— Teresa CORPSE-c (@TeresaKopec) October 29, 2013

Folks who liked those indy policies probably didn't test them by getting seriously ill. The ill went bankrupt.

— Diane Webber (@dwebbKHN) October 29, 2013

So the "scandal" discovered by @nbc is that insurers can no longer sell substandard plans? yes, that's called "passing a new law."

— Anson Kaye (@AEWK) October 29, 2013