Motley Moose – Archive

Good morning meese! Happy happy Wednesday!

The common Moose, Alces alces, unlike other members of the deer family, is a solitary animal that doesn’t form herds. Not so its rarer but nearest relative, Alces purplius, the Motley Moose. Though sometimes solitary, the Motley Moose herds in ever shifting groups at the local watering hole to exchange news and just pass the time.

A Moose in my neck of the woods right now would look like this:

Interrogatories

It’s National Kazoo Day and National Clash Day. What Clash song would you most like to hear on the kazoo?

What is the most absurd think that Republican males believe?

Have you ever written notes on your hand like Palin? What kind of notes?

The Twitter Emitter

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon

— Chris Walker (@cwalkertime23) January 26, 2014

Steven Tyler looks like some Real Housewife who was not asked back for season 2 #Grammys

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) January 27, 2014

My life is so boring Big Brother stopped watching.

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) January 27, 2014

New Gallup poll says 67% of Americans dissatisfied with wealth distribution. 7% are "very satisfied" and I would like what they are smoking.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) January 27, 2014

Hillary Clinton hasn't driven a car since 1996, which was just 14 months before Rand Paul last read a newspaper.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 27, 2014

Cokehead Tray Radel Resigning From Congress To Spend More Time With His Coke http://t.co/6X74snVBVW

— Wonkette (@Wonkette) January 27, 2014

Rand Paul reminds you that bringing his dad into it is off limits. Oh, and 1 time Hillary Clinton's husband got impeached.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 28, 2014

Religious freedom means taxpayers should have to fund the teaching of creationism but your employer should decide what medications you get.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 28, 2014

Look, I warned you people about this: White House reveals that "any American who saw Macklemore perform at the Grammys is now gay married."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 28, 2014

Why can’t my millions make me immune to criticism?

— Lisa McIntire (@LisaMcIntire) January 28, 2014

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

Interrogatories

What is the most exotic place you have been?

What is your least favorite animal and why?

Did you ever hidden something then forget where you hid it?

The Twitter Emitter

If ignorance is bliss why is the world so unhappy?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 23, 2014

Don't women understand that sex is a guy thing?

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 24, 2014

Hey, inmates? If any of you wind up dating Hunter Moore in prison, be sure to post pics without his consent, k?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2014

We now live in the country the NRA wanted for us: school and mall shootings all but routine, no hope of any action at all by lawmakers.

— Joy Reid (@TheReidReport) January 25, 2014

Massive criminal gang in New Jersey identified as the Chris Christie administration

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 26, 2014

Sarah Palin: "We should oppose the Trans Pacific Partnership. It's just not right to be making trade deals only with gay people."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 26, 2014

I WISH THE GRAMMYS STILL HONORED TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE: SONNY & CHER. IKE AND TINA, CAPTAIN AND TENNILLE #tcot

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 26, 2014

The new danger is apparently yahoos who read about "Stand Your Ground" in the papers and then hang out by their windows with scoped rifles.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 26, 2014

I am ready for a night that truly honors the very best in music, but until then the Grammys will have to do.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 27, 2014

Y’all really think my Dad is picking who wins the Grammys? Does YOUR dad listen to pop music?

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) January 27, 2014

Paul McCartney and Willie Nelson are proof that marijuana kills. #Grammys

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) January 27, 2014

  Good morning Motley Meese! Hope your weekend was lovely.

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

  Make sure you let your peeps

  know where to find you!  

OMG, it’s almost 2015! January is almost over.

Interrogatories

It’s National Compliment Day! Say some nice things.

But, since it’s also Talk Like a Grizzled Prospector Day, try to say those nice things like a grizzled prospector might. (Why am I imagining early Walter Brennan?)

What is the best use of peanut butter?

Would you know a Justin Bieber song if it grabbed you by the throat and tried to strangle you?

The Twitter Emitter

@lizzwinstead The only thing that can stop a bad teen millionaire with an egg is a good teen millionaire with an egg.

— Thee Alan Smithee (@TheeAlanSmithee) January 23, 2014

This Bieber kid is a great example of the Canadian menace and why we need to shutdown our northern border

— john r stanton (@dcbigjohn) January 23, 2014

A fifth scheduled State of the Union response has just accidentally shot itself.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 23, 2014

Every time a conservative describes basic necessities like health care, housing, and food as "sugar", I worry about their insulin levels.

— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) January 23, 2014

I"d let Beiber go for the DUI then lock him up again for aggravated auto-tune & lip-synching.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 23, 2014

I'm fairly certain the GOP strategy is to drown us in stupid until our collective head explodes.

— Imani ABL (@AngryBlackLady) January 23, 2014

I'm not going to talk about Justin Bieber's arrest, because it's obviously a FALSE FLAG by Obama to distract us from Bengahzi.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 24, 2014

@TeaPartyCat Damn liberal media liars, Bieber wasn't drag racing, he was trying to escape the Obamacare death panels that were pursuing him

— Kerby Forges (@KBR_37) January 24, 2014

If you don't like income inequality, stop whining & buy yourself some Senators.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2014

Good morning, Moosekind. TGIF! Temperature is supposed to be well above freezing here for the first time this week. I think we should all get matching “I survived the Polar Vortex of 2013” shirts. Except you live somewhere warm. Unless your wind chills went below zero, no T-shirt for you.

Interrogatories

It’s National Pie Day, who would you like to see get a pie in the face?

What famous person that you should like (or all your friends like) rubs you the wrong way for no good (or very superficial) reason?

How are your feet? Too big, too little, high arches or flat, easy or hard to fit shoes on? Do you attract foot fetishists?

Do you have any imaginary friends? Did you when you were a child?

The Twitter Emitter

Still trying to understand why someone counting divorce from the time their marriage ended rather than when it was finalized is a scandal.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) January 22, 2014

I'll be plagiarizing all Shia LaBeouf's tweets so I apologize if you see something you wrote.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 22, 2014

In my humble opinion, my opinions are the best.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 23, 2014

You're against abortion AND birth control coverage. Then I'm not going to ask your opinion on chastity belts.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 23, 2014

Calling me pretentious is hardly the ne plus ultra of insults.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) January 22, 2014

There's actually nothing I can think of about keeping a brain-dead pregnant woman alive as an incubator that comports with "God's plan"

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 23, 2014

Why send your child to school when we have factories?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 23, 2014

The ancient Egyptians stopped worshiping Cats as Gods over 2500 years ago. Nobody told the cats.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 22, 2014