Motley Moose – Archive

On Sunday morning, the above-the-fold headline in the Wisconsin State Journal, the paper of record for the State of Wisconsin, declared “Assembly members against secession”.

Let’s ignore for a moment how low the bar for political sanity has been set if the paper is reporting as NEWS(!) that the Republican caucus in the state assembly is not in favor of Wisconsin seceding from the Union.

Let’s also ignore the fact that not all of the Republicans in the state assembly signed the letter that Assembly Speaker Robin Vos (R) sent to the delegates meeting this weekend at the Wisconsin State GOP Convention. Because it makes me cringe to think that my fellow Wisconsinites would elect state representatives who don’t even believe in the United States Constitution.

Interrogatories

What is your favorite cereal? Milk or no milk?

What books are you reading right now?

Who is your favorite historic (pre-20th Century) person?

The Twitter Emitter

16 degrees. It's been so cold for so long that I now understand Russian literature.

— John Schwartz – NYT (@jswatz) March 6, 2014

So, CPAC begins, and DC city government reports that there's something bad in the water. Just sayin'.

— Chris Lehmann (@lehmannchris) March 6, 2014

Conservative CPAC conference starts today. All porn is discretely billed to your room as "Reagan Tribute."

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 6, 2014

What? Putin isn't speaking at CPAC? #CPAC2014

— LiberalPhenom (@LiberalPhenom) March 6, 2014

CPAC Review, by the Numbers 1. There is no Income Inequality in America. 2. Education is Bad 3. Deregulation is Good. 4. Reagan #cpac

— Ina (@InaMaziarcz) March 6, 2014

Jay Carney refuses to say what Obama's going to do about all those tweeters making that same 'Crimea River' joke.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 6, 2014

Those rough-looking ppl surrounding Trump? Big game hunters. Their job is to take down Trump's hair if it makes a run for it.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) March 6, 2014

If #CPAC 'd put Wayne Lapierre & Donald Trump in pit, play Star Trek fight music & give em each a shank I'd make any donation they asked4.

— Cliff Schecter (@cliffschecter) March 6, 2014

If only Putin would attack the poor in the US, then the GOP in Congress might come to their aid. #Ukraineaid

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) March 6, 2014

For every copy of Profiles in Courageousness I sell at #cpac, I will be donating 25 cents to pay off Speaker Boehner's bar tab

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) March 6, 2014

O'Reilly says "Muslim nations" won't take female prez (Hillary) seriously forgetting "Muslim nations" elected female heads of state 4 TIMES!

— Reza Aslan (@rezaaslan) March 7, 2014

Interrogatories

What is your favorite kind of cracker? What do you like to have on your cracker?

Who’s your favorite astronaut?

Do you ever eat frozen food (after it’s thawed and prepared, of course)? Examples?

The Twitter Emitter

I asked @LindseyGrahamSC who killed JFK, he said, "Benghazi."

— David Corn (@DavidCornDC) March 4, 2014

Somewhere an ESL teacher is trying to explain why cough, rough, bough, & dough don't rhyme.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 5, 2014

Today President McCain invaded the Ukraine, getting into a land war in Asia, before then going against a Sicilian with death on the line.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) March 5, 2014

Today President McCain invaded the Ukraine, getting into a land war in Asia, before then going against a Sicilian with death on the line.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) March 5, 2014

Steve Stockman: “I didn’t lose to John Cornyn, I just gave up running for Senate for Lent.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) March 5, 2014

The Road to Republican Victory is Paved with Liberals Who Don't Vote #Vote2014 #UniteBlue #p2

— TheNewDeal (@TheNewDeal) March 5, 2014

Time for Obama to recess-appoint Willie Horton, for America.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 5, 2014

NASA: "The giant asteroid will safely pass Earth. Though if not, it's because of Obama's weak leadership and mom jeans."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) March 5, 2014

Who would want talented people with admirable ambitions defending them anyhow?!

— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) March 5, 2014

Adding insult to injury, Darrell Issa stole Elijah Cummings' car after abruptly adjourning today's hearing.

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) March 6, 2014

Interrogatories

When was the last time you went to the dentist? How was it?

What is your favorite branch of science?

What critically acclaimed movie did you hate?

The Twitter Emitter

Remember when America liked John McCain's foreign policy prescriptions so much that we didn't elect him President?

— Firestarter in Chief (@docrocktex26) March 4, 2014

Funny, I don't remember @SenJohnMcCain being so concerned about democracy when Al Gore was elected POTUS in 2000.

— Picasso Kat (@Picassokat) March 4, 2014

The biggest difference between the left and the right? When Bush was president, nobody was preaching about shooting or lynching him.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) March 4, 2014

RT reporting that Russian troops are giving Ukrainians puppies and foot massages. Developing….

— TBogg (@tbogg) March 4, 2014

If Obama wants to handle Russia like a real leader he'll look into Putin's soul & do nothing when he invades Georgia. #p2

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 4, 2014

Lindsey Graham: "Russia invaded Georgia in 2008. Then Benghazi happened. And now Ukraine. So clearly, it's all because of Benghazi."

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 4, 2014

I think it's incredibly hard for Americans of all political stripes to view events abroad as not being fundamentally about us.

— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) March 4, 2014

Relax, guys, it's all cool. George W Bush looked into Putin's dreamy, manly eyes and declared him quite all right.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) March 4, 2014

As a Jewish person, I take my political advice exclusively from people angling for a quick Rapture so Jesus will return and I'll go to hell.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 4, 2014

Sad night. The loss of Steve Stockman is a defeat for lazy and incompetent grifters everywhere. #TXSeb

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) March 5, 2014

Interrogatories

How far from where you grew up have you ended up? If you still live nearby, did you ever live far away?

Have you ever littered? Have you ever picked up after litterers?

Have you ever gotten revenge on anyone? Can you tell us about it?

The Twitter Emitter

If weed was a gateway drug, crack would be more popular than Starbucks.

— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) March 3, 2014

BREAKING: Apple forced to deny rumors that Siri is pregnant

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 3, 2014

Republicans can't decide. Is Russia our biggest foe or is Putin the dreamiest?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 3, 2014

Putin hates gays and loves foreign interventionism. He should be speaking at CPAC.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) March 3, 2014

imagine if Obama had previously announced he'd looked into Putin's soul and seen goodness? i think Fox would've collapse into itself by now

— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) March 4, 2014

gop has alpha male issues. "talk tough" is all they demand, don't use your brain because god forbid.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) March 4, 2014

You know what makes America look weak? Cowardly Republican asshats sniping at the President during foreign policy crises.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) March 4, 2014

Review: Osama dead. Diplomacy used as a successful tool repeatedly. The drumbeat for war from #GOP after 48 hours because? #tcot

— Erin Kotecki Vest (@QueenofSpain) March 4, 2014

Greetings, Bombpersons. The Daily F Bomb is going on hiatus for an indefinite period. This Friday’s will be the last one for a while. I just need some time to be able to do things for myself. I have a full DVR that I need to take care of, and several books waiting for my attention that I haven’t been able to get to, and Lilly the cat says I am neglecting her shamefully because there is always a damned MacBook on her lap. And I need to get out and see my real life friends more often. It’s been fun, and hopefully will continue to be fun in the future.

Interrogatories

What sitcom (or funny film), best represents your sense of humor?

Have you Google-mapped your own place? How does it look?

What can always be counted on to cheer you up?

The Twitter Emitter

If the President ordered an invasion, the Republicans would suddenly be against it. See how easy it is to be a pundit?

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) March 2, 2014

If you casually move from writing Ronald Reagan fan fiction to Vladimir Putin fan fiction, you probably just like actors who ride horses.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 2, 2014

We can't afford to pay benefits promised to current veterans, say Republicans advocating new wars with Russia and Iran

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2014

Hi, I'm a guy who supported the Iraq war & is outraged Putin would invade a smaller country that hasn't attacked him.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 2, 2014

Everyone knows fact about Crimea I pulled from the first non-Wikipedia link on Google

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) March 2, 2014

Shorter idiots: "Let's send your kids to a place I can't point out on a map because Mrka."

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) March 2, 2014

We should have taught Putin an abstinence-only international relations curriculum.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) March 2, 2014

I think you should see other gods.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 2, 2014

Working on my Ukraine White Paper. So far I just have a white piece of paper with "Ukraine" written at the top.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 2, 2014

"We must all rally behind our President at a time of international crisis. Ha ha. Just kidding," says Lindsey Graham

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2014

We don't even allow our elected officials to speak truth. If a politician speaks the reality of America they are demonized as unpatriotic.

— Elon James White (@elonjames) March 2, 2014

Maybe the Tea Partiers should all pick up their muskets and run off to fight Putin in the Ukraine.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) March 2, 2014

Interrogatories

If you could devise a Rare Disease for Rare Disease Day that would affect only political figures on the right-wing persuasion, what disease would you give them? (Like foot-in-mouth-itis)

What book signings have you been to?

What is the last thing you rented?

The Twitter Emitter

A machine learning researcher, a crypto-currency expert, and an Erlang programmer walk into a bar. Facebook buys the bar for $27 billion.

— ML Hipster (@ML_Hipster) February 25, 2014

In lieu of Bitcoin, I’ve stuck to flushing $100 bills down a toilet. I’m deep in the red but at least I understand exactly what’s going on.

— John Gruber (@gruber) February 26, 2014

Millions of churches you can go to? Check. Thousands of Christian radio stations and TV shows? Check. STFU about being oppressed.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 27, 2014

OBAMACARE DAY 58: Texas gay marries Kentucky, all Christian residents forced to prepare floral arrangements; Subway offers marijuana salads

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) February 27, 2014

First Obama empowers impoverished young black men, next white people are forced to work in BitCoin mines. That's how it works sheeple!

— Lex (@LuthorCEO) February 27, 2014

Hell is an airport where everyone has a laptop and there's only one socket.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 27, 2014

Human beings are the only creatures on earth with the potential to make themselves the only creatures on earth.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 28, 2014

Just let me know how exactly I should live my life so you have your "religious freedom." http://t.co/BQGrDc0SQb

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 28, 2014

And, even with ten years of gay marriage, Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the United States. #protectingmarriage

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) February 28, 2014

If gays have rights and can get married, then all you ladies will miss out on forcing them into loveless marriages. Call your Congressman!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 28, 2014

Interrogatories

What is the first thing you see right now when you look up from your computer?

Do you have any vices you refuse to give up? If so, what?

When was the last time you willingly stayed up all night?

If someone refused to take your wedding pictures because he/she hated something about you and your lifestyle, would you force the issue?

The Twitter Emitter

And then the cowards claimed that their religious freedom was being denied. Their freedom to deny my freedom!

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 27, 2014

Log Cabin Replicants

— Wile E. Quixote (@ScottLinnen) February 27, 2014

Dick Cheney: “Obama is reducing troop levels, when everyone knows you can save money by cutting armor for troops fighting a war in Iraq.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 27, 2014

The wages are too damn low.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 27, 2014

Arizona Gov Jan Brewer vetoes the "If I can't be an anti-gay bigot then you're an anti-Christian bigot" bill.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 27, 2014

Fox News reports that Rick Santorum has issued a fatwa on the federal judge who ruled the Texas gay marriage ban unconstitutional.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 27, 2014

The only religious freedom that maters is the one that frees me from your religion.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 27, 2014

The correlation between bigots and poor grammar is absolutely astonishing.

— Calvin (@aurosan) February 27, 2014

Remember that time Jesus refused to heal someone because he didn't support their lifestyle? Me neither.

— Susie Meister (@susie_meister) February 26, 2014

Cons: Replace these activist judges with OUR activist judges.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 26, 2014

If we renamed immigrants "fetuses" would the GOP would start treating them as human beings?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 26, 2014

Interrogatories

Pizza – what style is best? NY style, Deep dish Chicago, or something else? What is your favorite pizza place?

Are you an early adopter of new technology, or do you let it get thoroughly tested and vetted before you will invest in it?

When on escalators, do you follow escalator etiquette (stand to the right, walk to the left)?

The Twitter Emitter

President Nugent, back in 1980, when you wrote Wango Tango, did you ever envision this America?

— Kevin Depew (@kevindepew) February 25, 2014

The best things in life are cheese or cheese-adjacent.

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) February 25, 2014

If you're hallucinating I hope you see a doctor.

— Dave (@gneicco) February 25, 2014

The "Got Milk" ad campaign is ending after 20 years. Oh no. Now how will people hear about milk?

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 25, 2014

Give a man a fish, he smells like carp.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) February 25, 2014

It must be hard to make up your mind when you don't have one. #JanBrewer

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 25, 2014

Judging by commercials, I'm not yet infirm enough to watch network evening news.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) February 25, 2014

Never quite gotten how same groups (CPAC) that idolize Ayn Rand can't stand atheists. I mean, hello.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) February 25, 2014

In the late 70s, the super-rich got together and said "To hell with the great society, let's get rid of our taxes & reinstate feudalism."

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 26, 2014

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 26, 2014

Interrogatories

Do you use straws for drinking? Straight or bendy?

Have you been robbed or burglarized?

Do you always answer your door when someone knocks or rings? When you don’t, why not?

Who would your business like to refuse service to?

The Twitter Emitter

Rick Perry's glasses were a savvy move. I expect him to have braces by 2016 and headgear if he's nominee.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 21, 2014

Most old tea partiers are Abe Simpson but w weaker command of facts.

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) February 21, 2014

If it all gets too much for you to bear, CA has no statewide elected Republicans and life here has never been better.

— Allan Brauer (@allanbrauer) February 24, 2014

"Your marriage is like incest! Mine is traditional!" said the multiply-married, childless radio host.

— ¡ Terry ! Candy Saga (@shortstack81) February 24, 2014

Alec Baldwin says he's retiring from public life to spend more time berating his family with homophobic slurs.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 24, 2014

If you're gonna fight hate, don't whine if you get some on you; just wash it off before it sticks. #p2 #uniteblue #libcrib

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 24, 2014

Twitter mikght be the social media highway, but there's way too much road rage on it for my taste.

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) February 24, 2014

The last five people left after climate change kills everyone will form a panel to investigate whether climate change is real.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 25, 2014

Not to worry, Arizona! You can always go back to canceling the Martin Luther King holiday!

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 25, 2014

What's the difference between Uganda and Arizona? Arizona GOP only DREAMS they could throw gays in jail.

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) February 25, 2014

Overwhelming inarguable scientific evidence is no match for a guy who "just knows".

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 25, 2014