Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

What radio station(s) did you grow up on? What kind of music did they play? What tunes come to mind when you think back to those days?

Did you have a favorite Mouseketeer?

How do you define obscenity?

The Twitter Emitter

You can shut down our government, but you can never shut down our petty, partisan bickering.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) October 1, 2013

The Internet has given us a huge increase in the places where thoughts can be stored, but without a corresponding increase in thoughts

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) October 1, 2013

Wouldn't it be ironic if furloughed federal workers spent their time off making sure ppl were registered to vote? #shutdown #p2 #tcot

— James (@jazgar) October 2, 2013

In 1850 the mainstream media blamed both sides for slavery– the rich white Southern slave owners AND the slaves.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 2, 2013

It's good advice to let sleeping dogs lie. Except maybe when they're aged, gassy, snore loudly and want to lie right next to your bed.

— BEN PATRICK JOHNSON (@benpatrick90069) October 2, 2013

If derp could be converted into money Cruz and Paul alone could re-open the US government.

— Danielle (@DCPlod) October 2, 2013

It's adorable, and very convincing, when conservatives claim you HATE VETERANS if you think Bachmann showing up for photos is gauche.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 2, 2013

Republicans hate us because of our Freedom #p2 #tcot

— Terrell Lewis (@SgBz) October 2, 2013

If ignorance is bliss, why are Republicans always so pissed off? @bellobass

— Jesse LaGreca (@JesseLaGreca) October 2, 2013

"Hey baby, is your name #Benghazi? Cuz I'm gonna keep hitting on you until it becomes a scandal!" #WorstPickUpLines #GOPPickUpLines

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) October 2, 2013

If you spent the last 4 years blocking and obstructing healthcare access for millions of people, don't even mention kids with cancer.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) October 2, 2013

Interrogatories

Who was your favorite Peanuts character, and why?

Do you usually name your cars? If so, what were their names?

Are you a jeans and t-shirt person, or something else? Do you tuck in your tees?

Are you now, or have you ever been a flirt, or just good at flirting?

The Twitter Emitter

After Social Security passed in 1935 and Medicare in 1965, Republicans predicted disaster. But they didn't use extortion to try to repeal.

— Robert Reich (@RBReich) September 26, 2013

Our government is currently being run exactly like a Married With Children episode.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) September 28, 2013

Improving the quality of life for the people of America is really very simple. Just vote out all the Republicans.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 28, 2013

When people start talking about Creationism, that's when I reach for my evolver.

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) September 30, 2013

HAS ANYONE JUST TRIED TURNING THE GOVERNMENT OFF THEN BACK ON AGAIN?

— christophr (@christophr) October 1, 2013

It's no wonder the US economy crashed 5 years ago if the last time America shut down was in 1996. #governmentshutdown

— HAL 9000 (@HAL9000_) October 1, 2013

I love being the smartest guy in the room, and that's why I live alone and never leave the house.

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) October 1, 2013

Ted Cruz: "The Obamacare exchanges have been open 3 hours, so I think we can all agree it's a failure, perhaps worse than Pearl Harbor."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 1, 2013

You get to keep your guns and easier access to health care. I think we failed to implement our tyranny program.

— Sr. WH Official (@SrWHOfficial) October 1, 2013

I believe that the catastrophic attack on federal buildings on 10/1 is an inside job. #Oct1Conspiracy

— Harold Itzkowitz (@HaroldItz) October 1, 2013

They really need to bring "Schoolhouse Rock" back, but specifically for adults.

— HumanityCritic (@HumanityCritic) October 1, 2013

Happy Government Shutdown Day! Happy Obamacare Exchange Day!

Interrogatories

Have you ever had a CT Scan? Have you ever had an MRI? Did you find either one to be an ordeal?

Are you very organized? Is your system of organization organized or haphazard (but YOU know where everything is)?

It’s International Drum Month. Do you have a favorite drummer?

Chili – beans or no beans? What sort of garnishes do you like? Do you have a good recipe? Do you have a favorite restaurant chili?

The Twitter Emitter

Dems could avert a shutdown by voluntarily disbanding their party, but alas, they're choosing to put politics above what's best for America.

— Danielle (@DCPlod) September 30, 2013

If all alcohol sales were banned during a #governmentshutdown, I'm pretty sure @SpeakerBoehner would have taken that up-or-down vote by now

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 30, 2013

In event of shutdown, just tweet @CoryBooker to feed zoo animals and run NASA and stuff.

— Jon Mooallem (@jmooallem) September 30, 2013

House GOP refuses to work and doesn't wanna pay bills. i don't wanna hear shit about lazy black people ever again.

— Mychal Denzel Smith (@mychalsmith) September 30, 2013

DON'T YOU SEE? IF WE KEEP THE GOVERNMENT OPEN, WE'RE GOING TO GET SOLDIERS HOOKED ON THE SWEET NECTAR OF THEIR 'PAYCHECKS'? #tcot

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 30, 2013

"We want a compromise, but only unless you do exactly what we say." –#shutdown

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) September 30, 2013

If we covered crime like politics, headlines would be "Hostage taker, police play blame game for failed bank robbery."

— Hunter (@HunterDK) September 30, 2013

If there's a #shutdown, Cruz says he'll give his pay to charity. Vitter will give his to Charity, or Hope, or Joy, or Grace, or…

— Alec MacGillis (@AlecMacGillis) October 1, 2013

About every other House lawmaker I just talked to smelled like booze. It's only 9pm. Wheeee!

— jennifer bendery (@jbendery) October 1, 2013

so rumor is that Boehner was prepared to offer clean CR, and Cruz vetoed it

— Fleet Admiral Josh (@fleetadmiralj) October 1, 2013

Interrogatories

Are there any roads/bridges/etc. in your town named after socialist/commie/pinko types, or are more named after wingnuts/despots/1%ers?

Do you blaspheme often? Can you help it? Do you consider it blasphemy? If not, what would you consider blasphemy?

Did you enjoy playing in the mud as a child? Do you enjoy it now? Have you ever had a mud bath?

Have you ever invented your own cocktail? Was it any good? Recipe? What’s your favorite real cocktail?

The Twitter Emitter

Not everyone is against bullying. For instance, bullies.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 25, 2013

Twitter doesn't have a problem with racism, sexism, homophobia and other ills. Humanity does.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) September 25, 2013

"We'll shut down govt, screw people out of healthcare, and want all our demands met. Why won't you negotiate, you Kenyan Muslim Socialist?"

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) September 27, 2013

Congress haz sad that guy not in Congress hasn't called them to talk about how Congress should handle Congress's business.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 27, 2013

Obama is a left-wing Socialist Marxist tyrant, say #teaparty members with tragically low access to dictionaries.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 28, 2013

I propose a one year delay in the one year delay. Tell your constituents you voted for the one year delay.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 28, 2013

Repeal the Civil War! Defund Emancipation!

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 28, 2013

The House GOP CR also includes a one-year suspension of gravity.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) September 28, 2013

New House GOP offer: Obamacare delayed a year and you get to see the economy once just to see that it's okay, NO COPS.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 28, 2013

Q: What's the difference between the House GOP and the unemployed? A: The unemployed want to work.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 28, 2013

The GOP may love "America" but they sure the hell seem to hate "Americans" smh

— Robert Gillespie (@nffc65) September 29, 2013

NOT ALL GENERALISATIONS ARE LIKE THAT

— Edcrab (@Edcrab_) September 29, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s National Walk to Work Day. How long do you think it would take you to walk to work? Have you ever done so?

What language that you don’t speak do you wish you spoke? Why?

Have you had a garage sale, a yard sale, or a moving sale? Was it profitable?

Do you like to go to these sales (including estate sales)? Have you found any good bargains?

On voting day, how do you decide which judges to elect or retain? Do you put in a lot of research to find out which ones are good?

The Twitter Emitter

The one with the most toys dies just like everyone else.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 23, 2013

The International Spy Museum is moving to an undisclosed location.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 23, 2013

Sarah Palin: "Hillary Clinton isn't suited to be president. It's a demanding job. She might give up and quit mid-way through her term."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 23, 2013

Trendy idioms are an epic fail.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 24, 2013

seven days without a pun makes one weak

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) September 24, 2013

Now Miley is licking herself on the cover of Rolling Stone. Is this an anxiety thing? Should she be wearing a cone?

— Caissie St.Onge (@Caissie) September 24, 2013

Mice need to drop the self-defeatism and truly BELIEVE they can win their war against cats.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) September 25, 2013

Ted Cruz has spoken for 18+ hours. Some say it isn't a “filibuster.” Ted Cruz’s wife calls it “a typical Saturday.” http://t.co/Fa5HYW9GqK

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 26, 2013

Headline: "Obamacare Rates Unveiled" Republicans: "Why were they veiled in the first place?!" Such stupid people. #p2 #ctl #topprog #tcot

— ÐiegoUK (@DiegoUK) September 26, 2013

Twitter doesn't have a problem with racism, sexism, homophobia and other ills. Humanity does.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) September 25, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s National Good Neighbor Day. Are you a good neighbor? Do you have good neighbors?

Do you and your partner/spouse have “your song?” What is it?

Are you a bowler? What was your best score? Are you a golfer?

Has anything in your medicine cabinet expired? Have you checked lately, or do you check regularly?

The Twitter Emitter

Every time #TedCruz talks about Christianity an angel coughs up blood.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 25, 2013

GOP: Stop saying that we "need to have a debate" about health care. We did in 2010. We did in 2012. You lost.

— The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) September 25, 2013

Ted Cruz's choice of reading Green Eggs and Ham was brilliant. As a secret Muslim, President Obama can't eat ham.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) September 25, 2013

Harvard and Princeton are both in their bedrooms weeping in the fetal position.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) September 25, 2013

Ted Cruz & #teaparty continue to fight for the uninsured's right seek care at local ERs & taxpayers' right to pay for it.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 25, 2013

After 24 hours of wall-to-wall coverage of the Cruz non-filibuster, we must ask: is there more the media could have done?

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) September 25, 2013

By voting for cloture Ted Cruz is the personification of " The food there is terrible.. and such small portions"

— TBogg (@tbogg) September 25, 2013

Ted Cruz votes for thing Ted Cruz railed against. Next step: send out fundraising letter condemning self for doing that.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) September 25, 2013

I'll believe Ted Cruz is really willing to do anything and everything to #DefundObamacare when he starts a hunger strike.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 25, 2013

That wasn't a filibuster. It was the Senate's comment section.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 25, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever run a marathon?

Have you ever participated in a charity “walk” or “ride”? Which ones?

What’s your favorite one-hit wonder? (This would be a hit song by someone that never had any other hits.)

Have you been to a state fair or a county fair? Did you ever enter into any of the competitions (best jam, pie, or animals…stuff like that)? What was your favorite part of the fair? Did you eat any food on a stick?

The Twitter Emitter

Cruz didn't listen to the 90% of voters who support background checks. Now he wants to #MakeDCListen to minority who disapproves #Obamacare

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) September 24, 2013

Not sure how he gets the Pursed Lips of Fake Thoughtfulness around a burger. #keepcruzing

— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) September 24, 2013

OMG I broke a fingernail, #obamacare must be stopped! ::burns down hospital::

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) September 24, 2013

Cruz reading tweets. Pronounces "gifs" with a 'j' sound. Riot breaks out on Senate floor followed by war and the collapse of civilization.

— TBogg (@tbogg) September 24, 2013

#StandWithCruz because that chest pain is probably just the pizza you ate. #defundobamacare

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 24, 2013

Is there an Olympics for self-regard?

— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) September 24, 2013

I will now stand here alone in my room and talk to myself. Let's call it a filibuster

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) September 24, 2013

Ted Cruz will have to pee soon from all the tears of the uninsured he's been drinking.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 24, 2013

Ted Cruz, you crazy kid. There's no surer sign of a grandstanding politician than filibustering a bill that's already been signed into law.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) September 24, 2013

What Ted Cruz is doing is shooting hoops alone in his driveway. His followers think this is game 7 of the NBA finals. Because they're idiots

— TBogg (@tbogg) September 25, 2013

Interrogatories

When did you first use the internet? What was your connection speed? Who was your first ISP? Where did you first venture online (chat rooms/usenet/etc.)?

Are you able to separate your opinion of a celebrity’s talent/skill from that person’s public misbehavior or politics?

What was your favorite Dr. Seuss book?

Do you shop at Aldi’s? Whole Foods? Safeway? Piggly Wiggly? Where do you shop and why do you shop there?

The Twitter Emitter

One man's "reacting to a negative event by suggesting practical action to prevent its recurrence" is another man's "politicizing a tragedy".

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 16, 2013

My '86 Mets didn't need steroids, they won the championship on a rugged blend of hubris, guts and cocaine.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 21, 2013

Is there a Japanese word for when you watch the series finale for a show you gave up on many years ago? #Dexter

— Brandon David Wilson (@Geniusbastard) September 22, 2013

David Gregory accepts Best Infomercial Emmy for Meet the Press, thanks John McCain, Liz Cheney and his producers the Koch Brothers #Emmys

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 23, 2013

Ted Cruz is the political version of an asian carp, an invasive species who seems to be gobbling up the other useful organisms in his party.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) September 23, 2013

Cruz: Watch as I polish my conservative credentials on the tattered, shabby rags of the sad hobos who actually wish to govern.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 23, 2013

Like most Cruises, Ted Cruz seemed exciting and fun at first, but now it's just tired and bored of doing the same thing over and over.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) September 23, 2013

It's a shame the South didn't think of shutting down the government on Lincoln to keep slavery; maybe they could've prevented the Civil War!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 23, 2013

It's so sad that people think Republicans care that the article they're citing is wrong. Psst: They're shills. They don't care. #ACA

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) September 23, 2013

Republicans. They've pledged not to raise your taxes, but don't give a shit about destroying your 401K.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) September 23, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you dabble in science and chemistry when you were a kid? Do you now? What is your favorite branch of science? Why are you drawn to it?

It’s National White Chocolate Day. We all know it’s not really chocolate. Do you like it? To eat on its own, or just as a contrasting decoration on real chocolate?

Were you ever teacher’s pet? Class clown? Dunce?

The Twitter Emitter

Why can't Obama just be the failure that destroyed this country that Republicans say he is?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) September 19, 2013

Ted Cruz is like a guy trying to sell you an above-ground pool.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 19, 2013

President Hassan Rouhani said Iran will never develop nuclear weapons, which came as a great disappointment to John McCain.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 19, 2013

They've gone back and tinkered with Facebook so many times George Lucas just called it 'tacky.'

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 19, 2013

"From Day 1, I've vowed to stop Obamacare or die trying. Knowing my luck, I'll almost die and get nursed back to life by Obamacare!" 11:30pm

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) September 20, 2013

America should be run like a business!!!!! Which means we should shut down and default on our debts if we don't always get our way.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 20, 2013

When Jesus came upon the temple merchants in his Father's house, he demanded a 25% stake, plus a 5% royalty.

— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) September 20, 2013

"You Can't Always Get What You Want' by The Rolling Stones. Some lessons for everyone in that song.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) September 20, 2013

Really nice government you've got there Mr. President. It'd be a real shame if anything happenned to it. Maybe we can help each other.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) September 20, 2013

Rule #8 of American Exceptionalism: after a violent event in any other country, the media must first ask, "What does this mean for America?"

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) September 22, 2013

In the recession, companies found an effective new way to boost profits. It was called "Not paying people".

— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) September 22, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you go to your prom? Did you enjoy it? Who was your date, what did you wear, and what kind of music did they have? Was it a decorated gym, or one of the lavish ones that have become a thing in recent years?

Did you ever work the phones at a telethon or pledge drive? Know anyone who did? Ever call and pledge?

What is the first record or CD that you ever bought with your own money?

The Twitter Emitter

Cut food stamps to encourage work. Also, cut fire departments to encourage safety.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 19, 2013

As near as I can tell, current GOP civil war is about who can eat the most bugs in one sitting.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) September 19, 2013

Has the catchphrase "waste, fraud & abuse" become shorthand for, "I'm a heartless right-winger?"

— Mark Fiore (@MarkFiore) September 20, 2013

Repubs r so concerned abt fetal pain but never wonder what a hungry belly feels like.

— Tina (@trcfwtt) September 20, 2013

Hypothesis: The more the Pope moves to the center, the longer the GOP has to pee on the poor.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 20, 2013

Food is for closers.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 20, 2013

Properly butchered and frozen, Rush Limbaugh could feed a family of four for six months. #EatTheGOP

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) September 20, 2013

For those of you who keep Kosher, sorry, but all we have is Eric Cantor. #EatTheGOP

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) September 20, 2013

You're a Republican if you think the gov't should pay farmers to grow food that gov't shouldn't help struggling families to buy

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) September 20, 2013

I remember how the folks on food stamps cost our country trillions by selling bets on bad mortgages to suckers. Glad they're being punished!

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 20, 2013

In an effort to reduce spending, GOP insisting poor get off food stamps and use email instead.

— Derek Johnson (@derekjjohnson) September 20, 2013

Remember that time food stamp recipients spent trillions invading Iraq for no particular reason?

— Lucas O'Connor (@lucasoconnor) September 20, 2013

Pope Francis: "The Church has grown obsessed with abortion, gay marriage and contraception. I mean, who put Rick Santorum in charge?"

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 20, 2013