Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Who is the stupidest Republican in the House? In the Senate?

Where do you do your banking, bank or credit union?

What is your favorite pasta dish? Do you fix it yourself, or is it from a restaurant?

What’s the oldest piece of electronic equipment that you own?

The Twitter Emitter

If flying a confederate flag in front of the white house is not racist, why didn't they do that for Clinton or Carter?

— A. Deno Vir MD PhD (@Adenovir) October 14, 2013

Also, it'd be cool if one day the bootstrap people realized that sometimes shit happens and your own bootstraps aren't enough.

— Becky (@MakeHerWay) October 16, 2013

Things the GOP got from this shutdown: Ted Cruz 24% approval rating A dude with the Confederate flag

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) October 16, 2013

Revenge is a dish best not served at all.

— Gautam Trivedi (@Gotham3) October 16, 2013

Why not suggest women avoid the company of men entirely? Logical conclusion of blame-the-victim thinking.

— Ethan Peretz (@MperiousRex) October 16, 2013

Good news! You need a background check for Obamacare but you're still good to buy assault weapons with no questions asked #p2 #tcot

— RagingTeabagger (@RagingTeabagger) October 16, 2013

Just because the GOP has come out of this #shutdown less popular than hemorrhoids doesn't mean they've given up being a pain in the ass.

— Secretary of Sax (@blackorpheus251) October 16, 2013

Obama should avoid doing things to antagonize House Republicans, like existing or holding different political views

— AdamSerwer (@AdamSerwer) October 17, 2013

@BarackObama looks younger tonight than he has in months. Nothing like driving your enemies before you to refresh the spirit!

— blue aardvark (@AardvarkBlue) October 17, 2013

Impressive: @corybooker has already fixed the shutdown.

— Ethan Peretz (@MperiousRex) October 17, 2013

Donald Trump: "Hello, Cory Booker? …No, I didn't call to congratulate you. I need to see your birth certificate, because, well, you know."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 17, 2013

Interrogatories

Today is National Dictionary Day. Do you have any favorite words; words that you just like because of how they sound or their meaning?

When you use a dictionary, do you find the word you want and close it, or do you tend to get sidetracked by other words you see?

What place/building do you wish you could have seen that no longer exists?

Tell us about the best boss you ever had. How about the worst?

The Twitter Emitter

Remember when women dressed modestly and there was no rape? Yeah, that was the best imaginary time ever.

— Ben Blanchard (@BenSweaterVest) October 13, 2013

Mitt Romney finally got approval for his car elevator. It even has room for a dog carrier on top of the car!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 13, 2013

First they came for abortion.Then they came for birth control. Then they came for condoms. Then they came for oral. Now nobody comes! #VAGov

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) October 15, 2013

What the House GOP predicted would be their "Braveheart" moment is far more likely to be their "Mel Gibson arrested for DUI" moment.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 15, 2013

1) Hill staffers screwed over. 2) Greenwald launches news site. 3) Hill staffers quit, join Greenwald, leak everything they know about Hill.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 15, 2013

First they came for the congressional staffers, and I said nothing, because I had no idea how to be a congressman.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 15, 2013

Actually, @ggreenwald hiring a bunch of journalists will make it MUCH easier for the NSA to know who to spy on.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 15, 2013

"Nation's editorial cartoonists express strong support for House plan to schedule next shutdown fight week before Christmas."

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 15, 2013

BREAKING: Debt ceiling deal breaks down when House GOP can't decide whether to demand Ted Cruz or Paul Ryan be named Dictator-For-Life.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 15, 2013

Twitter says it will list on the NYSE, assuming there is an NYSE after Thursday

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 15, 2013

Proposed rule has obscure provision authorizing Members to kill & eat staff.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) October 15, 2013

Wish we had a memorial to Americans who died from poverty so there could be a televised rally at it. #EndThisNow

— Harold Itzkowitz (@HaroldItz) October 15, 2013

The GOP just lost Jennifer Rubin. I have to go now, because its hard to keep typing while pigs fly out of my ass.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) October 15, 2013

Interrogatories

What is your favorite red wine? White wine?

What is your favorite I Love Lucy episode?

Did you participate in the Moratorium to End the War, or if too young, what big protest events have you participated in?

For Global Handwashing Day, who would you like to wash your hands of once and for all?

The Twitter Emitter

Glad that Congress' health club is still open. Apparently they can exercise their bodies but can't exercise their brains.

— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) October 13, 2013

GOP favorability 29% Boehner favorability 26% Tea Party favorability – 25 Obama favorability +7% Suck it, Confederacy.

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) October 13, 2013

Make no mistake. That protest in front of WH isn't about a shutdown, or ACA or spending. It's a protest of election of a black POTUS, twice.

— Beryl (@RainforestMoon) October 13, 2013

Remember folks, affordable health care is EXACTLY like slavery. Trust me, because as a white female, I've experienced the horror of racism.

— StockholmSyndrome (@TheTrolleyProb) October 13, 2013

Do I have this right? The Republicans closed a war memorial so they could heroically break into it?

— Henry Blodget (@hblodget) October 13, 2013

Ted Cruz causes a shutdown then attends a rally to complain about the shutdown. Complete disconnect: achievement unlocked.

— Michele Catalano (@inthefade) October 13, 2013

With President Obama closing the parks, Civil War reenactors were forced to use Pennsylvania Avenue pic.twitter.com/W12NkRrOcf

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) October 13, 2013

The Confederate flag is an historic reminder of when the South decided owning black people was more important than being American

— Matt Browner Hamlin (@mattkbh) October 14, 2013

The "Party of Lincoln" is protesting by waving Confederate flags? Some of you people really need to try books.

— Thanks4 Sharing Jerk (@Thx4SharingJerk) October 14, 2013

A lot of conservatives seem to think the problem with a Confederate flag is that it allows liberals to talk about race.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) October 14, 2013

As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions. Happy Columbus Day

— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) October 14, 2013

BREAKING: Ted Cruz to campaign to shut down Thanksgiving then demand to know where his pumpkin pie is.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 14, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever eaten a bug (intentionally)? If not, what is the strangest or most exotic thing you have eaten? How was it?

Were you any good at photography before digital photography came around?

For National Kick Butt Day, who would you like to see kick whose butt?

Do you like scented things? Do you use perfumes or colognes? Incense? Air fresheners?

The Twitter Emitter

If every woman voter in the U.S. knew her true interests, these asshats would be swept out in a tidal wave.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) October 11, 2013

It’s too bad Obama didn’t take Wolf Blitzer’s advice. Said no one.

— Teresa (@TeresaKopec) October 11, 2013

If the US was a 'Christian Nation' people would vote to help the poor and let private charities bail out Wall Street. #p2

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 11, 2013

So based on the polls the GOP is basically down to these nasty trolls in my Twitter stream…

— Joy Reid (@TheReidReport) October 11, 2013

Weird. People blame Republicans for Republicans shutting down the government.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 11, 2013

I think what's really going on is Steve #Lonegan has a crush on Booker and is hoping aloud that he's gay so they can date someday.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) October 11, 2013

Ted Cruz insists they repeal last year's straw poll.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) October 12, 2013

It's like this: I don't want hear how "Christian" America is, until Americans stop treating the poor like crap to be mocked.

— VC3 (@vcthree) October 13, 2013

Idea for a flag: A serpent-entwined rod beneath the words "Don't Tread on My Medical Devices."

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) October 13, 2013

Normal reaction to hearing of EBT card problems: "Oh, I hope they get fixed." Psychopath reaction: "LOOK AT THE POORS!!!!!1111!!"

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 13, 2013

Interrogatories

Ladies: Could you/would you join the DAR? Men: Could you/would you join any fraternal organizations? Are you currently a member of any such thing?

Those of you who watch(ed) it, what’s your favorite Saturday Night Live skit?

It’s World Egg Day. What is your favorite use for eggs?

Have you ever been mistaken for someone else?

The Twitter Emitter

I want to know what these republicans invest in that they don't care about a credit default,

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) October 9, 2013

House GOP: Please, if you could just have the economy hold up today's newspaper, just so we know it's okay.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 9, 2013

People sitting all day in meetings think you don't work hard enough.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) October 9, 2013

If I get food poisoning at Newark Airport, protocol is to tweet @CoryBooker, correct?

— jeremy scahill (@jeremyscahill) October 9, 2013

If two Nationwide customers are in an accident, who do they side with?

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) October 10, 2013

None of this bad news should prevent Ted Cruz winning the vital Ames Straw Poll.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 10, 2013

Now we all know what tea looks like circling the drain.

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) October 10, 2013

Gov't must be like rape if the congressional body has ways of shutting the whole thing down.

— Elayne Boosler (@ElayneBoosler) October 10, 2013

Don't let anyone call you an "underachiever". If they knew you, they'd know how amazing it is that you've managed to accomplish anything.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 10, 2013

Time for the GOP to remind voters that Obama once said “you didn’t build that.” #pivot

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 10, 2013

You can't stand up for Main St. when you're on all fours for Wall St. #teaparty #tcot #p2 #shutdown #gopshutdown #libcrib

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 11, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you ever do any of those jobs they used to let kids do, like newspaper delivery? Do kids still deliver papers where you live?

Have you ever been tempted to cheat on your taxes? Have you ever been audited?

Do you have good negotiating skills? What do you use them for?

Do you enjoy any porridge like foods (oatmeal, malt-o-meal, cream of wheat, etc.)? Which ones? Do you add stuff like sugar and raisins?

The Twitter Emitter

It would be UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER for me to flush the toilet unless my roommate gives me something in return. #GOP

— GOP Unplugged (@GOPunplugged) October 9, 2013

People who hate minorities really don't like that they're becoming one.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 9, 2013

One of the reasons longterm prospects are encouraging for Dems is that GOP analysts are really bad.

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) October 9, 2013

Let's thank the US media for reminding us the GOP-planned, GOP-promised, #GOPShutdown is really the fault of both parties.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 9, 2013

The House GOP was trying to decide on lunch, but Boehner said they don't have the votes, so they've now resorted to cannibalism.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 9, 2013

Ted Cruz to be keynote speaker at Al Qaeda's 'Bring America to Its Knees Festival" in Yemen this November

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 9, 2013

sorry Dems, your demands are too sensible. Repubs want to defund/repeal Obamacare? Demand that we NATIONALIZE ALL OIL COMPANIES. Yeah.

— RL Miller (@RL_Miller) October 9, 2013

Sounds as if the people who own the #GOP are ready for the hostage crisis to end. America, a wholly owned subsidiary of Koch Industries.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) October 9, 2013

Maybe all you stupid Chamber of Commerce corporations might realize that the GOP is not your friend. Quit funding their elections.

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) October 9, 2013

#ThankYouJesusFor teaching Republicans that when you said we should "feed the poor" you really meant "cut $40 billion from Food Stamps"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 9, 2013

When Paul Ryan is already failing the Tea Party purity test, you know this is going to be a good shutdown.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 9, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you have have to wear braces? If so, was your school one of the ones where braces were cool, or not?

Do you have any techniques for falling asleep when sleep eludes you?

Are you mechanically or technically inclined? Did you ever take things apart to see how they worked? If so, were you able to successfully reassemble such things?

Do you like the sound of motorcycle or other engines?

The Twitter Emitter

This Halloween I'll be wandering my neighborhood drunk, lost and crying. That's right, I'm going as @SpeakerBoehner.

— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) October 7, 2013

That awkward moment when Ted Cruz shuts down the government and then gets food poisoning from his $300 steak because the FDA is furloughed.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 7, 2013

I usually settle the "which way does the toilet paper go" argument by tossing it in the toilet.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) October 7, 2013

Crescent moon tonight is kind of Muslimy looking. Has anyone pinned this on Obama yet?

— TBogg (@tbogg) October 8, 2013

Maybe if they changed the name from debt ceiling to liberty limit the House GOP would raise it by mistake.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 8, 2013

BREAKING: President Obama just reached into Jon Karl's ear and pulled out a platinum coin. THEN he put it back.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 8, 2013

I'm old enough to remember a sane, mature, productive Republican party that just impeached presidents for their sex lives.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 8, 2013

Who among us hasn't burned down the plant when we were denied a raise?

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) October 8, 2013

If Treasury does have to start the work of prioritizing debt service payments, at least their staff isn't partially furlouOH WAIT

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 8, 2013

i #just love #it #when people hashtag words #that have absolutely #no business #being hashtagged.

— phive (@phive0phor) October 8, 2013

Michele Bachmann's Bible is actually just Revelation, Golden Calf & 2 lines of Leviticus duct-taped to a Left Behind book.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 8, 2013

Obama to nominate Janet Yellen as chairman of Fed. Senate GOP promises fight: "Only men should be allowed to fuck up fiscal policy."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 8, 2013

Christie cut women's health because he said NJ couldn't afford it & then spent 2x that amount to not be on the ballot with Booker. #njdebate

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 8, 2013

anyone ever considered adding pumpkin spice to pumpkin?

— Atrios (@Atrios) October 9, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever had a major fire come close you where you live? Did you have to evacuate?

Do you often go to the theatre (not movies, live performances)? What is the last play you saw?

It’s National Fluffernutter Day? Do you even know what that is? Is this something you would actually buy and use?

Has the government shutdown personally affected you yet? In what ways?

The Twitter Emitter

Boehner: "We are on a path to default unless President Obama agrees to abdicate in favor of Mitt Romney before October 17" #debtceiling

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 6, 2013

Speaker John Boehner soothed Wall Street today by saying he would only default on our debt if Ted Cruz really, really wants him to.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 6, 2013

Boehner: "The Senate has rejected all 4 bills we sent them. But I refuse to allow the House to vote on the bill they sent us" #GOPshutdown

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 6, 2013

.@NRSC Obamacare "sucks" in the same way I decided certain foods "sucked" when I was a child: before I'd even bothered to try them.

— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) October 7, 2013

On this day in 1996 Fox News debuted as a more efficient way to mass-deliver offensive email forwards.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) October 7, 2013

Voting to repeal #Obamacare: $70mill. Shutting down govt: $2billion/day. Convincing your base Obama is destroying the economy: Priceless.

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) October 7, 2013

Some say the glass is half empty. Republicans say if they can't have the goddamn glass, nobody can have the goddamn glass.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) October 7, 2013

Upside for Dems: Market crash, worldwide recession would reduce $ rich people have to give to Republicans. #2014

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 7, 2013

At this point, there are at least two forms of Herpes with higher approval ratings than Congress.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) October 7, 2013

Has anyone considered the possibility that Ted Cruz is really a Canadian agent sent to destroy America?

— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) October 8, 2013

Interrogatories

Were you ever bullied in school? Regularly? Did you ever bully anyone?

What superpowers would best suit your priorities in life?

Do you often see people where you live with weapons in public (not counting police officers)?

Do you own any guns? Can you hit a target?

The Twitter Emitter

@AndyKindler "Yes, whites are abusing free labor but the slaves refuse to come to the bargaining table w/ a fair counteroffer." @CNN, 1810

— Jason Christian (@JasonC1975) October 4, 2013

What would I come back as compromise w/ the Repugs? Come with a clean CR and Boehner gets his cigs & Glenfiddich back.

— Justice Putnam (@justiceputnam) October 4, 2013

Children’s book idea: "When Billy Started Clicking: A Child’s Story of Disk Failure and Data Loss".

— Jeremy Bingham (@captain_tenille) October 5, 2013

What Speaker Boehner is saying is that there are not enough votes to keep him speaker if he has a vote on the clean CR.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 6, 2013

SOURCES: Remaining Al Qaeda leaders now seeking to form a coalition with House Republicans

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 6, 2013

Godwin's Law is as bad as Nazis.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 6, 2013

The GOP version of compromise may explain why so many of them are on their second or third wives. #TeaPartyShutdown

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) October 6, 2013

Republicans to Dogs: Speak English!

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) October 6, 2013

Someone sign Tebow so he'll leave me the hell alone.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) October 6, 2013

To walk into any craft beer bar right now is to witness the terrible power of the pumpkin lobby.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) October 6, 2013

"We must eliminate wasteful spending," says millionaire GOP Congressman who just voted himself another $1.3M in farm subsidies

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) October 6, 2013

1. Close the government. 2. Discover an affinity for the monuments and national parks you've just shut down. 3. SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) October 6, 2013

Interrogatories

Hard tacos or soft tacos?

Have you ever been to Mt. Rushmore? Do you admire it as a work of art and feet of engineering, or see it as the ruination of a perfectly lovely mountain?

Non-POC bombers: do you believe you are privileged?

What is your definition of a hero? Can someone be a hero to you if you are ideologically opposed in some ways?

The Twitter Emitter

Democrats now stacking the bodies of dead cancer kids to form a barricade to keep the vets away from the sights of Washington. Developing…

— TBogg (@tbogg) October 2, 2013

Obamacare is a false flag! This has all been a plot to get the government shutdown so Obama could keep WWII vets out of their memorial!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 2, 2013

The CDC hasn't been this short-staffed since Season 1 of The Walking Dead.

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) October 2, 2013

Rick Perry: "I believe a woman must bring a baby to term no matter what, and that she must abort all her opinions before they're viable."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 2, 2013

"Ok, so I've shut off your electricity, but here's a grand bargain: I won't shut off your water as well if you give me what I want".

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) October 2, 2013

Boehner negotiating with Republican extremists? It's like The Taliban negotiating with Al-Qaeda.

— UltraVerified (@UltraVerified) October 3, 2013

Republicans care about the million people they have put out of work? Only in that is how they measure 'success' #p2 #ctl #topprog #tcot

— ÐiegoUK (@DiegoUK) October 3, 2013

I just hope none of the heroes who voted against gun control was hurt in the shooting at the U.S. Capitol.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) October 3, 2013

What everyone needs to do right now is to blame the other side from which you're politically affiliated – you'll feel so much better

— Roland Scahill (@rolandscahill) October 3, 2013

Fox: SMALL PROJECTILE LOBBED AT SOMEWHAT ADVANCED VELOCITY IN VICINITY OF CAPITOL; OBAMA SUSPECTED INVOLVED SOMEHOW

— Dennis (@wxdam) October 3, 2013