(I wrote this yesterday and sharing it here today) I’ve never been good with dates, remembering birthdays or anniversaries. But September 3rd is a date I will always pause and remember.
Thirty years ago today, I got into the cab of a big U-haul truck, with my car in tow and left Key West and moved to Orlando. It was 1984. My friend Buddha sat shotgun. He had helped me load the truck in 90 degree weather and he took time off work to drive up to Orlando with me. I was moving because my partner, Sydney was sick, he had flown up to Princeton University because his family was up there and his mother worked at the hospital. The plan was for him to return and join me in Orlando, where I could care for him in a more affordable place, with better health care options than were offered in the Keys.
We arrived in Orlando and unpacked some of my stuff, I took Buddha to dinner and we stopped for a drink at a club where we both knew people. One of our friends grabbed Buddha and pulled him aside, and whispered something in Buddha’s ear. I can still see his face. Sydney had died.
We went back to where I was staying and walked around Lake Eola in tears. The truck wasn’t even unloaded. Sydney’s illness had taken him in a matter of weeks, suddenly everything changed. Everything changed.
He was one of the first people to die of AIDS. The uncertainty and isolation at the time was unbearable. Following that day nearly everyone I knew was taken from me, one at a time, over and over again until the pain just glossed over all emotion. I waited for my turn.
Well… I am still here. It hasn’t been without a struggle however. Every day is a challenge. Every day is a blessing. There isn’t a day I don’t look around, smile at the sunrise, feel my dog Frank nudge my hand looking for attention, or see some colors in the clouds I never noticed before.
So today I will look back fondly on all those wonderful days before September 3rd, 1984, remembering the smiles of Sydney and all my friends. We were all so happy, so carefree, so full of life! And it’s because of them, because of their love that I’m still here. I’m just not ready to let that all go.
Every day is a blessing.
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