Interrogatories
What is your earliest memory? What would you like to have more of in your life? What would you like to have less of in your life? If you could have back one hour with any departed friend or family member, what would you want to talk to them about? Not counting music, what is your favorite sound?
The Twitter Emitter
My favorite part of the story of Genesis is the way they regrouped after Peter Gabriel left.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2013
If you think humanity is constantly on the verge of beastiality, there are specialists you can talk to about that.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Why is it that every time you try to talk like Christ some Christian calls you a socialist?
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 2, 2013
Other things you can call undocumented Americans: people, neighbors, classmates, workers, parishioners, colleagues, customers, friends.
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 2, 2013
“99 barrels of oil in the ground, 99 barrels of oil. Take 1 down, spill it around, 98 barrels of oil in the ground” #noXLpipeline #FuckExxon
— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) April 2, 2013
I’m a big believer in the 2nd amendment — especially your right to be well-regulated.
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO USE A TERM THAT’S OFFENSIVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CAN EASILY KEEP MY PARTY OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. #tcot
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Obama announces an initiative to map the Republican brain to figure out why they think using ‘illegal’ helps them. fb.me/uKvw30M9
— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013
Pretty sure banning giant sodas leads to bestiality.
— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) April 2, 2013
Very rude, licorice jelly beans looking like grape.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 2, 2013
I’m not saying it’s ideal, but how do we know who is and who isn’t Aryan Brotherhood without detaining all white people?
— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) April 2, 2013
I dream of a world in which nuclear war is all solar.
— Nein. (@NeinQuarterly) April 2, 2013
Let’s turn the safety net into a barbed wire fence, and name it after Reagan.
— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 2, 2013
Kim Jung Un says North Korea will go to war unless South Korea likes his Facebook page: “I’m tired of paying for sponsored posts.”
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013
The Appalachian trail shouldn’t lead to congress #StopSanford
— Peter Flom (@peterflom) April 3, 2013
Never fear, Tea Party, you can evade Obama’s $100 million initiative to map the human brain with a tinfoil hat, which you may already own.
— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013
“Family Values” Republicans Pick Adulterer To Represent Them In South Carolina, Will Continue To Lecture Gay People On Sanctity Of Marriage
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 3, 2013
If corporations really are people then polygamy is already legal.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 3, 2013
On This Day
In 1860, the Pony Express began service between St. Joseph, MO, and Sacramento, CA.
In 1888, the first attack that was attributed by police to Jack the Ripper occurred when prostitute Emma Smith was attacked. She survived the attack initially, but died of complications caused by her wounds. Most scholars today don’t believe she was a victim of Jack the Ripper.
In 1922, Joseph Stalin became the first Secretary General to the Soviet Union’s Communist Party.
In 1936, Bruno Hauptmann was executed for the kidnaping and murder of the Lindbergh baby.
In 1968, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “mountaintop” speech to a rally of striking sanitation workers in Memphis, less than 24 hours before his assassination.
In 1996, Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was captured at his remote Montana cabin.
In 2000, a federal judge ruled that Microsoft had violated antitrust laws.
In 2009, Iowa’s Supreme Court legalized gay marriage.
Born on This Day
1366 – Henry IV of England (parts one AND two) (d. 1413)
1783 – Washington Irving, American author (d. 1859)
1796 – Jean-Baptiste Madou, Belgian painter (d. 1877)
1807 – Jane Digby, English aristocrat and adventuress (d. 1881)
1815 – Henri Félix Emmanuel Philippoteaux, French painter (d. 1884)
1816 – Otto Didrik Ottesen, Danish still life painter (d. 1892)
1823 – William Magear “Boss” Tweed, American political boss (d. 1878)
1843 – Knut Ekwall, Swedish painter (d. 1912)
1860 – Ulpiano Checa y Sanz, Spanish painter (d. 1916)
1883 – Frits Van den Berghe, Belgian painter (d. 1939)
1885 – Allan Dwan, Canadian-American director (d. 1981)
1893 – Leslie Howard, English actor (d. 1943)
1898 – George Jessel, American comedian (d. 1981)
1904 – Sally Rand, American burlesque dancer (d. 1979)
1916 – Herb Caen, American columnist (d. 1997)
1921 – Jan Sterling, American actress (d. 2004)
1924 – Doris Day, American actress, singer and animal rights activist
1924 – Marlon Brando, American actor (d. 2004)
1926 – Gus Grissom, American astronaut (d. 1967)
1930 – Lawton Chiles, American politician (D-FL) (d. 1998)
1930 – Helmut Kohl, German politician and statesman Chancellor of Germany
1934 – Jane Goodall, British primatologist, ethologist, anthropologist, and UN Messenger of Peace
1936 – Scott LaFaro, American jazz bass player (d. 1961)
1936 – Jimmy McGriff, American jazz organist (d. 2008)
1936 – Harold Vick, American jazz saxophonist and flautist (d. 1987)
1938 – Jeff Barry, American singer, songwriter, and record producer
1941 – Jan Berry, American musician (“Jan and Dean”) (d. 2004)
1941 – Philippé Wynne, American musician (The Spinners) (d. 1984)
1942 – Marsha Mason, American actress
1942 – Billy Joe Royal, American singer
1943 – Richard Manuel, Canadian musician and songwriter (The Band) (d. 1986)
1946 – Dee Murray, English bass player (Procol Harum, The Mirage, and Spencer Davis Group, Elton John) (d. 1992)
1949 – Richard Thompson, English singer, songwriter, and guitarist
1951 – Mel Schacher, American musician (Question Mark and the Mysterians and Grand Funk Railroad)
1951 – Mitch Woods, American pianist and singer
1958 – Alec Baldwin, American actor
1959 – David Hyde Pierce, American actor
1961 – Eddie Murphy, American actor and comedian
1962 – Mike Ness, American singer, songwriter, and guitarist (Social Distortion)
1971 – Picabo Street, American skier
1972 – Jennie Garth, American actress
1972 – Catherine McCormack, British actress
1986 – Amanda Bynes, American actress
Died on This Day
1287 – Pope Honorius IV (b. c. 1210)
1663 – Jan Miel, Flemish painter (b. 1599)
1681 – Lucas Franchoys the Younger, Flemish painter (b. 1616)
1682 – Bartolomé Estéban Murillo, Spanish painter (b. 1618)
1691 – Jean Petitot, French-Swiss painter (b. 1608)
1695 – Melchior d’Hondecoeter, Dutch painter (b. c. 1636)
1919 – Modest Urgell, Spanish painter (b. 1839)
1943 – Conrad Veidt, German actor (b. 1893)
1950 – Carter G. Woodson, American historian, author, and journalist, founder of Black History Month (b. 1875)
1950 – Kurt Weill, German composer (b. 1900)
1990 – Sarah Vaughan, American singer (b. 1924)
1996 – Ron Brown, American politician, Secretary of Commerce (b. 1941)
2002 – Fad Gadget, English singer and musician (b. 1956)
Today is
Find a Rainbow Day
Pony Express Day
Tweed Day
World Party Day
National Walking Day
Don’t Go to Work Unless it’s Fun Day
National Chocolate Mousse Day
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