It’s March, and if you’re like me, it’s your favorite time of the year.
The Men’s NCAA Basketball Tournament expanded its field this year to 68 teams, further confounding excited fans eager to find the elusive “perfect bracket.”
The Republican presidential field of 2012 seems equally as numerous and elusive.
To help you, we’ve broken down the list of 2012 hopefuls into their own–well–bracket? It’s about as much fun as you can have with these potential power-pilferers:
First Round
1. Mitt Romney
16. Gary Johnson
8. Tim Pawlenty
9. Herman Cain
5. Ron Paul
12. Haley Barbour
4. Newt Gingrich
13. Jon Huntsman
6. Chris Christie
11. Rick Santorum
3. Sarah Palin
14. Jim DeMint
7. Mitch Daniels
10. Michelle Bachmann
2. Mike Huckabee
15. John Bolton
Interesting first-round match-ups, including some upsets: Bachmann over Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels and cheese-pie-style newcomer Herman Cain over former Governor Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota.
Something about the pairing of Romney and Johnson, however, spells snoozer–so bring your favorite red state-pillow.
Second Round
1. Mitt Romney
9. Herman Cain
5. Ron Paul
4. Newt Gingrich
6. Chris Christie
3. Sarah Palin
10. Michelle Bachmann
2. Mike Huckabee
After sleeping through another Romney match-up, Ron Paul throws an over-the-backboard-and-through-the-roof-of-the-arena shot in at the buzzer to upset Newt Gingrich, while Michelle Bachmann shocks an under-prepared Mike Huckabee. Bachmann is set up for an interesting contest with fellow spotlight-craver Sarah Palin, who actually received a technical foul in her besting of a popular New Jersey Governor for riding hubby’s snowmobile onto the court.
The Final Four
1. Mitt Romney
5. Ron Paul
3. Sarah Palin
10. Michelle Bachmann
Things are getting serious. Mitt Romney actually fouls out of his own game, leaving Ron Paul looking rather astonished holding the ball at half court. Sarah Palin–standing at full grizzly-height–tips in a shot at the buzzer to knock off a wailing Bachmann, who had to be escorted from the court.
The Championship
5. Ron Paul
3. Sarah Palin
In the lowest scoring game of all time, Ron Paul wins, 3-0. His only basket was scored by an overly-exuberant fan who threw in a ball from out-of-bounds as time expired. Shocking.
Of course, this is only jest. But seriously, Slim Shady did it–will the real Republican presidential candidate please stand up?
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