Do you ever have those moments when you’re insanely curious about something….
but at the same time amazingly frightened to find out the reason behind it ?
(pssssssssssttttt ….you might be a loser)
I’m not going on some philosophical binge here.
I’m thinking of it in the blog sense.
Why can’t I walk away from the computer?
Am I that big of a blog nerd ?
( trick question K, don’t answer that one)
Why are you staying up waaaaay past your bedtime arguing with this tool who can’t understand he/she is WRONG?
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Fucking WRONG.
Wrong tone. Wrong on the issues. Wrong on reality (is that even possible?).
You’ve been guzzling the tea or coffee (soft drink or waterbottle) for hours now. You don’t want to leave your seat.
Rather than going to the bathroom you’ll start up the universal “dance of the full bladder” while waiting for the page to refresh.
(breathe in, breathe out, jump, breathe in, breathe out, jump)
Why?
Answer the fucking question dude!
Why?
You casually jump into the blogosphere fray looking for news.
A diary title catches your eye.
Sly as a Fox : Fair and Balanced
What’s this?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I’ve got to flame this motherfucker and set his ass straight.
You enter the diary and spot the douchebag whoring for mojo….
“What the hell is this TROLL?????? ”
“You want to tell me Fox is “fair and balanced”? ”
“FoxNews?”
“Because they cover her responsibly instead of fawning over her?”
(outrage! outrage! outrage! outrage! outrage! outrage!)
“Responsible?”
“THIS FOX?!?!?”
That is totally racist! What the fuck?!?!
What is this???
Oh yeah. You know it.
HA-OOH! HA-OOH! HA-OOH!
Smack this turd up!
It’s on like Donkey Kong sucka!
W000000000000T ! ! ! !
You type in an incredibly elegant and verbose reply and wait ( with actual facts and rooted in truthiness.)
** refresh page **
** refresh page **
( 1 NEW MESSAGE)
“Fuck yeah! Let’s see what this fucker cooked up!!!!!! ”
(reading, seething, reading, seething, reading, OUTRAGE!)
” What the hell is this?”
” Dude is talking out of his ass! ”
“This troll is wrong on the internet and Ive got to verbally smack his face up!”
You type furiously while doing the crazy full bladder dance and praying for the gods of mojo.
(breathe in, breathe out, jump, breathe in, breathe out, jump)
“He must have not heard of the world renowned Spaceman Spiff!”
(do a little jig, do a little jig, do a little jig, do a little jig)
I’m a fiend!
Need acceptance from other cool bloggers.
Stipes
Brit
I SAID COOL BLOGGERS!!!
Kysen – Spiff – ChrisBlask
That’s more like it!
back to the story
It’s all about the mojo around here.
Mmmmmm….
Sweet. Sweet. Mojooooo.
** refresh page **
** refresh page **
(1 NEW MESSAGE)
” I’ve got him on the ropes now! ”
**refresh page **
**refresh page **
( 2 NEW MESSAGES)
“Ha! Somebody mojo’d and replied to my comment!”
You know dude can’t handle the full on barrage of common sense ( bring the Paine!) and logic and you want everybody to know.
The smell of victory is near. Kind of smells like blood, vomit, and bile with a tinge of freshly cut grass and flowers if you ask me.
Here it comes …..
Epic pwnage.
Pretty anti-climatic don’t you think?
My point?
Who the fuck really cares?
If you get a kick out of it and have fun ( I love to giggle at my own posts, LOSER!) go for it! But don’t take shit personal.
( burn, baby, burn )
CHILL THE FUCK OUT PEOPLE!
Damn! If we behaved in the real world like the P.C. Police expects us to behave on blogs we’d you’d live a pretty lonely and pathetic life.
We’re all decent people here (except for Stipes, but he gets a pass) WAIT ( speaking of pass, damn this kill is fucking Tony the Tiger grrrrreat) …
Anyways. Don’t take things personal. We blog for fun. If I get out of line, which I’ll try to do as much as possible. Hide rate away or post something witty. But don’t take it personally. Don’t judge me by one drunken, pissed off or fucked up post ( or all 3 at once). We all make mistakes.
Life is to short to get pissed off at anonymous commenters and way over their head FP jokes who don’t have a dash of credibility left.
Shit makes me turn blue.
Just wanted to make a point.
Save the angst and emotional investment for the real world peeps!
But don’t confuse my humility, kindness, and sexy nature with weakness.
Oh no!
You do not. Want. To fuck with me.
I repeat.
You do not want to fuck with the Spaceman…
In fact….
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