This is where I’m at right now.
Edit: Switched the openthread format and it looks more like a diary now. Will repost other part in new diary when I get back.
I have returned for another round of writing in my mysterious, sexy way. For the next several paragraphs you will not want for acerbic, somewhat disjointed ranting. As irrelevant and “nada de” p.c. as ever. As I type the beautiful melodic screams of my tortured minions wail to the beat of a euro trash techno beat that plays in the distance.
WHAT THE FUCK?
That just isn’t my style, I do the illiterate and bad grammarr theeng better than every one hear and I’m sticking to the script.
I do blog in my sexy and mysterious way though. You can’ take that away from me! EVER!
Buffer up and play while you read!
( who doesn’t love this song? I want you to hate me when you catch yourself humming this at work or school tomorrow )
Ed note: Extreme snark and truthiness ahead. Let’s test the limits of the lounge!
Follow me after the jump for incoherent musings and rambling from Alejandro’s brain (or what’s left of it).
( filling up the bowl)
HEY LURKERS! MAKE THAT DAMN ACCOUNT AND GET IN HERE!
I have a question…….
(tokes up)
Allright, allright, hold your horses (or significant other, depending on what your riding crop’s used for) ….
I’ll get to the main point of my post ( heh…not really) in a hot New York minute.
So yeah, I’m in a pretty decent mood here and I want to get something ELSE off my chest.
THANK YOU GOD! I know that a lot of people think ( maybe not a lot, maybe no one 😉 ) that I am too vocally “religious”, compared to most here. As in, I pray and do believe God is not only walking by my side right now, he’s actually carrying me. Big ups to him and all the great shit he’s doing for me and my family. If only for the “placebo” effect, it’s worth it to me. I believe in Jesus, Buddah, Allah, Jah (RASTAFARI SELASSIE!), karma ( same thing), whatever the hell you want to call him/it. Positive vibes and all that. I lost faith in church and men a loooooooong time ago. I think the church (es) is (are) corrupt as are the majority of the religious leaders. I want to make a clear distinction between being comfortable in my own skin and beliefs and trying to impose my view on others.
I DO go to funerals and try to guess whether dead people are in Heaven or Hell before they are 7 feet under dirt. I don’t do it by judging and reaching a conclusion by my own analysis. I think about it in a morbid and curious way. Not in a, ” You lived your life this way so you must be going to hell” kind of way. What the hell do I know? We’re more similiar than you’d like to think “evangelicals”. The only difference is that while your looking at me I’m looking past you. I worship the Big G ( not the spot, but if that tickles your fancy go right ahead! On second thought….), not some wo/man who says he/she has all the answers. Certainly not this fucked up version of Christianity you’ve hijacked. Yeah, I’m talking to you Palinburger. Pray the gay away? As a physician, I find this absurd and downright STUPID. I’d list my problems with this fanatical wing of the GOP but I’d be here all week.
Some religious people can really do themselves a massive disservice. Many do great things for our country but the vocal minority gives the rest a bad name. This isn’t about a general group. I’m being specific here. As a Christian I feel offended by these batshit crazy fools. I’m talking about the fanatical and blind religious kooks here. The Palin’s of the world. I don’t really give a shit but, for fuck’s sakes, wanting to dictate to the rest of us who certainly aren’t worried about a non-existent “evil monster” what we can and can’t think or say is just bullshit. BULLSHIT. Don’t judge me motherfucker. Don’t judge us while you scream at the top of the lungs that I’m not pure enough to enter your lord’s kingdom. Why the hell does your line of thought exist? In what way can your reasoning be important in the coloring book of life? Shit makes no sense! (hits the pipe) There doesn’t have to be a point for the existence of such crazed and fanatical mindset. It still doesn’t keep it from existing and annoying the hell out of everybody else.
Kind of like there is no point for that maroon or olive green crayon. You know what I’m talking about. The olive green one that no-one ever uses and just sits there in the box until the entire fucking box is filled with the crappy pink, horrible browns and stupid olive green ones. And what the hell are you going to draw in maroon, pink and olive green? A Purple Striped Pink Polka Dot Dem? ( LOL!) Fuck! You get what I’m saying? No use for it, but you can’t run away from it either. It’s just there. The elephant in the room. You’ve got to color between the lines and you have to deal with that dark mucus looking crayon if you want to get anything done. Eventually you’ll have to deal with it. Always up in your face. Fucking turd colored crayon. It would be great if that was just it. I could just pop that sucker in the microwave and delight myself with….
all.
the.
pretty.
colors.
To no avail.
You could learn a thing or 2 from color blind cat.
Bigots.
But….
It wouldn’t be half as annoying if you didn’t compound your ignorance with the pretentious attitude of having the upper moral ground on all issues. These people remind me of that toy cop/slash volunteer watch person/ drug addicted fiend/ high school drop out/ douchebag who watch your car while you go do something “important”. You know the kind. The one who thinks that he/she can tell me what to do because I’m on his/her turf. The person who isn’t really working for anybody. Just got the vest at WalMart and is randomly charging to park in public space like dude owns the place.
I should pay you to look at my car because I’m on your turf? Hell, if it wasn’t for the hardwork others have put in you wouldn’t have a street to “protect”.
Last time I checked this spic pees standing up when sober and sitting down when drunk….just like you.
You fucking Chuck Norris wannabe car guards are a joke.
Since when did donning a brightly-colored vest make you eligable to protect anyone’s vehicle? Do they come equiped with invisible weapons? Pray the gay Pray the crime away? When something does happen to a car ( such as dented doors and fenders, which will almost certainly attract someone’s attention), try and find a toy cop who actually saw anything. My car is sick and I have no insurance. Why didn’t you prevent this from happening?
I thought you were EVERYWHERE!
When something gets fucked up, the miraculous powers are nowhere to be found or seen. It has also been noted that in some of the shady areas ( see poor and underdeveloped), it’s the car guards/defenders/bastards themselves who break into the vehicles. Preying on the weak with false promises. Bunch of corrupt bastards. Wolves in sheep clothing. False prophets.
Don’t think that because I wear Sarah Palin glasses (guilty as charged, I’d like to say in my own defense I’ve had these for years) and have this awesome sexy vibe going on that I’m a supeficial weenie!!!!!
I don’t have 2 housflies playing ping-pong in my brain. ( I CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM MY HOUSE!)
I’m on to your scam.
What’s this?
You want me to tip you?
Seriously. What the fuck dude?
Tip you for not stealing my GPS and radio?
Tip you for the privilige of giving you money to save my soul?
Fuck. You.
I’m on to you weasels.
The cheddar is staying in my pocket and you will not scare me into thinking I need you to “watch” over me (or my car).
You think you have a direct line to teh God from your McCain made Blackberry?
WAIT!!!!!
What’s this?
I have a new friend request?
HA!
Should I look at life from your “olive green crayon” and “neon orange vest” world view?
The “worthless but always there ” and ” higher than thou position of power”?
Even if ( especially if) I think you’re full of feces?
Fuck no!
You think we’re living in the 1900’s?
Quick Marty! To the Deluded DeLorian!
“Life was so much easier before Marty! Give me the days of the Monkees when one could go down to the Pop Tate’s and be soothed by their melodious voices and tight rhymes flowing smoothly from the jukebox in the corner, while children gleefully munched on candy without fear of child molesters, colored folks, scary homosexuals, or dirty hippies. I know it’s a scary and confusing world these days! Oh the horror! People other than God fearing, rich white men have rights! ”
“Great Scotts!”
Life was good back then, eh Barney?
Homie please.
Here.
The attitude is as ironic as Perez Hilton dying of prostate cancer.
Turn the motherfucking speakers up! Even if you don’t like the song, you’ve got to love the stage show.
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