Motley Moose – Archive

Happy last day of your weekend, Bombrewskis!  I hope you all have a delightfully slothful Sunday.

You have the right to remain silent, but I wish you wouldn’t…

Interrogatories

I’m going to borrow a question that was regularly featured in Bon Appetit’s little back page chef interview: What historical person or persons would you like to have dinner and drinks with? Expanding on that, what fictional characters (assuming it was at all possible) would you like to have dinner and drinks with? What fictional place you you like to visit? When you travel, do you prefer to find accommodations like the natives or do you prefer to stay in places that are more like what you find at home? Do you usually cook at home or go out to eat?

The Twitter Emitter

Mr. President, what about the Elder Wand? Why haven’t you used that?

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) March 1, 2013

CONSERVATIVE BLOG PREVIEW: Shame on you President Obama for editing the Harvard Review when you should have been watching Star Trek reruns.

— Jack Kennedy (@YourDeadPOTUS) March 1, 2013

alqaeda – We are retiring. We have outsourced our job to #gop, who are obviously better at it.

— amk4obama (@amk4obama) March 2, 2013

People have a right to say almost anything they want. Other people have a right to economically cripple the networks that air those people.

— Jack Kennedy (@YourDeadPOTUS) March 2, 2013

Bad breath is better than none.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 2, 2013

Stocks hit a 5-year high and corporate profits reach record levels, making it a good time to tax the poor, say Republicans

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2013

#YouMightBeARepublican if you cut off your nose to spite your President and then can’t get it fixed because your Governor refused Medicaid

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2013

Cutting Social Security to cut the deficit is like cutting off your leg so your brother will lose weight.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) March 2, 2013

One of my kittens is orange and he cries constantly. I’m thinking of naming him ‘Boehner’…

— Hillary At Home (@HillaryAtHome) March 2, 2013

GOP: “THE PRESIDENT MUST PUT SOMETHING ON THE TABLE!” (Obama places offer on table) GOP: “STOP MOVING THE GOALPOSTS!” washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog…

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2013

Call me crazy, but maybe we shouldn’t be taking the advice of celebrity non-teachers who hated school on how to “fix” the nation’s schools.

— Dean Barker (@deanbarker) March 2, 2013

Next thing you know, Chief Justice Roberts will be asking why there’s no white history month during oral args tv.msnbc.com/2013/03/02/a-s…

— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) March 2, 2013

Dear Republicans: After Peter Turkson becomes Pope, you are going to be in BIG TROUBLE #surrounded

— rootless (@root_e) March 2, 2013

I have to ask the GOP to save your rape gaffes until the fall of 2014. Thanks.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 2, 2013

If Pope’s against birth control b/c God commands us ‘be fruitful and multiply’ then where does he get off being celibate?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) March 3, 2013

Good morning, Bombasticas! Did you sleep well? Grab some coffee and indulge my curiosity…

Interrogatories

Are you superstitious? Or are there any superstitions you can’t help but follow, in spite of not believing them? Do you believe in astrology, even just a little? Are you graceful or clumsy? Have you ever sued anybody? Have you ever been sued?

The Twitter Emitter

Oh look, the fake equivalence train is the only hi-speed rail out of DC.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) March 1, 2013

GOP: “If Obama had any real leadership skills he would stop our party from destroying the economy.”

— United Liberals(@UnitedLiberals) March 1, 2013

Only a Vulcan mind meld will help with this congress. LLAP

— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy) March 1, 2013

We must bring balance to the Force. #Sequester #JediMindMeld twitter.com/whitehouse/sta…

— The White House (@whitehouse) March 1, 2013

#YouMightBeARepublican if you use the heroes of 9/11 as props when you need them, but call them union thugs when you don’t want to pay them

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2013

Breaking: Bob Woodward to appear on “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” to discuss how Obama is making a spectacle of himself.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) March 2, 2013

With no Pope supervising, I bet most priests show up late for work on Sunday. #hungover #wearinglastnightscassock

— TBogg (@tbogg) March 2, 2013

Good evening.Do not panic, but due to an increase in chatter, the Bob Woodward Threat Level has been Increased to Orange

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) March 2, 2013

Used to be the President refused to negotiate w/terrorists. Now the terrorists refuse to negotiate w/the President #Teahadists #Sequester

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 2, 2013

Please retweet this to raise awareness for this tweet. #MakeADifference

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) March 2, 2013

Good morning, Bombed Ones!  I haven’t heard anything new on silks since his one comment that took him forever to type. We’ll give him time.

Can you believe it’s March already? I should stop joking about getting my Christmas shopping done and get started on it.

Interrogatories

We Americans are mostly mutts. How many nationalities are you aware of in your family history? Who is the most recent immigrant in your family? Do you know who the earliest is? Did you have mumps, measles, chicken pox and any other usual childhood diseases? Gas or electric? Which is your favorite (and most indulged) of the seven deadly sins?

The Twitter Emitter

Paula Abdul was a better judge than Scalia.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 28, 2013

Sure, the U.S. government is going to send people out to take away your guns. They’ll be easy to spot, tho, as they will be riding unicorns.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 28, 2013

BREAKING: U.S. to provide non-lethal aid to Syrian rebels, John McCain to let them borrow Lindsey Graham for the weekend.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 28, 2013

Crazy idea: Instead of venerating famous people and assuming they’re right, check the record.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) February 28, 2013

Generally I find I am much too objective to be impartial.

— WTK1 (@wtk1) February 28, 2013

Pope and change?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 28, 2013

When @teapartycat is elected the new pope, I think he should take the name Felix VI, a reference both to cats & to the last papal schism 🙂

— FTJ (@fairytalejedi) February 28, 2013

Does the Catholic Church need a Pope as badly as Breitbart dot com needs a Breitbart?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 28, 2013

IS THERE NO RICH WHITE MAN THIS WHITE HOUSE WILL NOT INCONVENIENCE? – Fox News

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 1, 2013

Has Bob Woodward finished his @foxnews audition yet? Hope he gets the job!

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) March 1, 2013

“Girls Gone Wild” has declared financial bankruptcy, which should go well with its moral bankruptcy.

— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) March 1, 2013

#WI Rep. Sean Duffy said he has no opinion on death penalty because he hasn’t died yet. #UltraSound shows #NoBrains #wiunion #WIright

— Louis Kaye (@loukaye) March 1, 2013

Good morning

Questions! The first I found on Twitter and traced back to Reddit. The second is one kids always ask each other.

If you were granted access to Wikipedia of 100 years in the future for ten minutes only, what would you look up? Would you rather be able to turn invisible or fly? Would you rather cook dinner or clean up after? What’s easier for you, folding laundry or ironing it? Is your preferred car an automatic or manual transmission? Do you prefer your chee-tos baked or deep fried to a crackly crunch?

The Twitter Emitter

First the leftover SOTU stuff:

Jefferson gave SOTU in writing, most of the time a short: “‘The State of the Union is strong. Please RT.”

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 12, 2013

I just watched Rand Paul’s response. That guy is a cornucopia of American mediocrity.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) February 13, 2013

Considering it was the Speaker’s office, Marco Rubio is just lucky he didn’t accidentally grab one of John Boehner’s glasses 190 proof

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) February 13, 2013

Shorter Rubio: Don’t depend on the government the way my family depends on the government.

— ImperturbableEmpress (@EmpressLeNoire) February 13, 2013

And more recent:

It started in 1817, actually RT @steventdennis: POTUS has declared a disaster in Mississippi.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) February 14, 2013

Maybe if the police spent less time chasing pot smokers they could spend more time chasing murderers and rapists

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) February 14, 2013

Rand Paul: “Everyone gets a chance to succeed based not on who your parents were but on your own initiative. My dad taught me that.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 14, 2013

Oh, well, now it’s Ted Cruz’s turn to be the token Latino. Someone tell him to stay away from the water.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 14, 2013

Rubio says his mouth was dry because he gave an interview before his big speech. At least when he’s President he won’t face stress like that

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 14, 2013

Lindsey Graham: “Please, talking about Marco Rubio sipping water is frivolous. We should be talking about my Benghazi conspiracy theories.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 14, 2013

Um, hello? My boobs are down here

— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) February 14, 2013

The new GOP platform. Same as the old one, but now also available in Spanish.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) February 14, 2013

The two most popular gifts women receive on Valentine’s Day are a box of things that make her fat and a bouquet of things she can watch die.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 14, 2013

This day isn’t ending. I am just Force Quitting.

— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) February 14, 2013

In case you missed it: Wicked witches melt from water, and so do political careers. ow.ly/hGLOt

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 14, 2013

Good morning, bombshells!  I hear silks is highly drugged on really good stuff, but is not yet ready for calls or visitors, being a wee bit out of sorts, but is otherwise doing well. In a few weeks time he should be tap dancing again.

Interrogatories

We’ve all probably said at one time or another, “If I had a [insert monetary amount here] for every time [insert person or group here] said/did [insert word or action here]. If you actually could receive a dollar for every time [name of person or group] said [word/phrase], how would you choose to fill in those blanks? If commercial space travel was available, would you be up for it? What Star Trek invention (think holodeck, transporter, replicator, phaser, tricorder) do you wish was real and available now? What is your favorite fabric to wear? To sleep on? To sit on? Long hair or short hair (humans, that is)?

The Twitter Emitter

Twitter went on a regret binge last night.

Eric Cantor: “Obama’s spending is out of control. Sorry, that was last week. I blame Obama for all these spending cuts!” #GOPfail #tcot #p2

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 26, 2013

.@morning_joe Listening to Republicans talk about fiscal responsibility is exactly like dropping a brick on my toe during a prostate exam.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) February 27, 2013

That moment when you realize thatyou won’t be able to live tweet your own funeral.

— TBogg (@tbogg) February 27, 2013

I’m more concerned about Scalia Law than Sharia Law

— Zirgar (@Zirgar) February 28, 2013

maybe woodward will tell hannity ACORN is behind the sequester.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 28, 2013

The Onion: “Is it too soon to call Scalia a c–t?

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 28, 2013

Bob Woodward also claims President Obama is no longer allowing employees to work from home.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 28, 2013

“regrets, i’ve had a few” – frank sinatra totally being threatening

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 28, 2013

I have a feeling like everyone on Twitter is going to regret tonight, regardless of their opinions.

— Dylan Byers (@DylanByers) February 28, 2013

“Gee, Mr. Woodward, two chili dogs & a second shake? Are you sure you won’t regret this?” Threatened at Dairy Queen-they have men EVERYWHERE

— tabgirl (@tabgirl) February 28, 2013

Bob Woodward, that’s the guy who had that big hit album in the 70s, right? Did he go solo? Is he still putting out stuff?

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) February 28, 2013

Antonin Scalia: Good To The Last Derp

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) February 28, 2013

Good morning bombalomba ding dongs! It’s hump day, and silks has a new hip. Last I read he was doing quite well. If anyone speaks or texts with him, please provide updates!

Interrogatories

Are you fond of gadgets, and if so, what is your favorite gadget? How cold is cold to you, indoors and outdoors? How hot does it have to be before you think it’s hot? Speaking of hot, how spicy do you like your food? Do you like to gamble, and if so, favorite game? What is your favorite animal at the zoo?

The Twitter Emitter

In order to show solidarity with the world’s food corporations, CPAC guests will dine on grilled Rafalca.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 26, 2013

Hmmm, “GOP” is trending on Twitter. I’m guessing it died.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 26, 2013

They say we’re just trying to scare people, when we’re quoting actual crazy stuff that they said.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 26, 2013

Chris Christie agreed to accept the Obamacare Medicaid expansion. Is there nothing that man won’t do for a phone call from Springsteen?

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 26, 2013

Why won’t Obama lead by abandoning the balanced deficit reduction approach he clearly framed and emphasized in an election he just won?

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 26, 2013

This #Sequester shit is so submental – its like not having the willpower to diet, so rigging the refrigerator to blow up when you open it

— Bill Maher (@billmaher) February 27, 2013

Republicans believe govrrnment is the enemy. When they are in charge it is

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) February 27, 2013

Is “Crazy Ted” Cruz “the new McCarthy”? Um, would that be Joe McCarthy, or Charlie? bit.ly/Wfhv0K

— Howie Klein (@downwithtyranny) February 27, 2013

With only 72 hours until the Sequester kicks in, the House GOP took bold action and passed a bill restricting abortion.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 27, 2013

Hagel to be sworn in at 8:15AM followed by surrender to Iran at 9, imposition of Sharia law at 11, then lunch and naps #FriendsofHamasagenda

— TBogg (@tbogg) February 27, 2013

dear cons, please get the fake history right – nixon and mccarthy were either good or bad, but they cant be both depending on situation

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) February 27, 2013

Looking forward to Hagel having CSAF Gen Mark A. Welsh call up Lindsey Graham’s reserve unit and deploy them to Benghazi this week. #payback

— TBogg (@tbogg) February 27, 2013

Good morning, bomberistas! Today is the day that slksfca has his surgery, so let’s all keep him in our thoughts.

Interrogatories

Do you prefer tropical climates or multi-season climates?  Do your tastes run traditional or modern (or maybe a mix)?  What is your favorite folk or fairy tale? Why? What is your favorite thing to watch on YouTube (cat videos, movie trailers, new hits, old songs, old movies, documentaries…)? Best biography/autobiography you ever read?

The Twitter Emitter

Arguing that sequester was Obama’s idea like saying it was your idea to give wallet to mugger when he said, “your money or your life.”

— Noam Scheiber (@noamscheiber) February 24, 2013

. @kagrox“Better you be devastated than I be wrong.” -A Republican

— Jill Groce (@AuntJill) February 25, 2013

I’m no expert, but I’d guess that real commandos wear underwear. And kill people.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 25, 2013

As best as I can tell, the only people who are fully metric-fluent in America are scientists and drug traffickers.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) February 26, 2013

It’s nice of Italy to have politics that are way stupider than America’s so we look good by comparison.

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) February 26, 2013

I’m wearing Armani for this tweet.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 26, 2013

Never underestimate how far the GOP will go to stop the nomination of a Secretary of Defense who doesn’t want to be a Secretary of War.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 26, 2013

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and an impoverished Sierra Leonean child laborer’s worst nightmare.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 26, 2013

House of Cards. A TV host asked a politician a tough follow-up question. NOT BELIEVABLE.

— Danforth France (@danforthfrance) February 26, 2013

The difference between pro wrestling and the Tea Party is everybody knows that the Tea Party is fake. bit.ly/XCk6wz

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 26, 2013

House Republicans announce plan to replace crumbling infrastructure with new ‘Build Your Own Roads and Bridges, You Moochers’ initiative

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 25, 2013

Taking down The Scooter Store® is a genius vote suppression technique. Do you think those lazy Teabaggers will STAND in line to vote?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 24, 2013

Interrogatories

What are your favorite condiments? What are your least favorite? Have you hung on to any pieces of clothing from your younger days that you just cannot bring yourself to let go of, and if so, what?  Are you more comfortable in cities, suburbs, or the country? Do you prefer solitude or being with people?

The Twitter Emitter

Since the Twitter feed last night was dominated by Oscar stuff, most of these are about the show, but I tried to pick ones you’d get if you didn’t watch. I think you can tell from most of these that once again, people were not impressed with the host (Seth MacFarlane). I will go on record saying that Oscar needs to steal Amy Poehler and Tina Fey from the Golden Globes.

Congrats to Argo for winning the Daytona 500.

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) February 24, 2013

Jindal: “GOP can win w/out pandering to women or gays. We just have to convince people that greed and war are better than choice and love.”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 24, 2013

Watching the Oscars is an exciting night for so many children of celebrities because they actually get to see their parents.

— Gary Janetti (@GaryJanetti) February 24, 2013

Can’t wait for “In Memoriam: The GOP.” Hope they use a screenshot of Bush from Fahrenheit 9/11. #Oscars

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 25, 2013

Any requests for winners?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 25, 2013

People in some countries don’t even watch the Oscars on account of how they hate freedom and are looking for food and safety.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 25, 2013

The Academy Awards are when the most popular people on Earth have a popularity contest.#oscars2013

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 25, 2013

This Oscar show needs a sequester.

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) February 25, 2013

Man, when you have to look forward to the dead folks montage….

— Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch) February 25, 2013

Ridiculous that Mitt Romney’s 47 percent video didn’t make best short film.

— Ben White (@morningmoneyben) February 25, 2013

I think they’re about to call in Mitt Romney to save the 2013 Oscars.

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) February 25, 2013

I hear the new Wolverine movie is going to be a musical.

— hodgman (@hodgman) February 25, 2013

OK OSCARS I’LL TELL YOU ABU AHMED’S REAL NAME

— Alex Pareene (@pareene) February 25, 2013

Les Miserables features the finest American & Australian actors playing French people with British Accents.#Oscars2013

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) February 25, 2013

Anne Hathaway created the sequester.

— Nu Wexler (@wexler) February 25, 2013

I am annoyed at everyone who is annoyed at all the people who are annoyed at someone at the Oscars who might or might not be annoying.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) February 25, 2013

Good morning! It’s Sunday, and it’s also Oscar day. Once upon a time I used to try to see every single nominated film (I never actually succeeded), but these days I rarely go to films, even with the coolest theater in all of L.A. right down the street. However, thanks to the magic of “For Your Consideration” DVDs, I actually managed to squeeze in a few this year. Hell, I’d watch it anyway, and follow it on Twitter, because it’s fun.

Anyway, the questions today are all movie related.

Interrogatories

What is your favorite drama of all time? What is your favorite comedy of all time? What is your favorite Sci-fi/Fantasy/FX film of all time? What is your favorite musical of all time? What actor and actress to you can do no wrong? What is your favorite song that you were introduced to in a movie? And a special bonus question for movie geeks: Fave costume designer (I know not all of you will be able to answer this).

The Twitter Emitter

The meek shall inherit the earth, but only after we’re done with it.

— Yuppy (@TradingYuppy) February 22, 2013

Many are called, but few are at their desks.

— Yuppy (@TradingYuppy) February 22, 2013

Photo IDs required for voting under guise of protecting freedom. No IDs for gun purchases…under guise of protecting freedom#uppers

— @ceut (@ceut) February 23, 2013

Turns out Walmart refuses to stock that “offensive” Prince album we wanted to buy. They do have a great selection of assault weapons, though

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 23, 2013

I really want national same-sex marriage while the few people it will annoy are still alive. nationalmemo.com/obama-administ…

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 23, 2013

Veterans commiting suicide, people dying from tainted food, drugs, a few spectacular plane accidents. Republicans say: “What’s not to like?”

—UltraVerified (@UltraVerified) February 23, 2013

Remember when Steve Jobs said Apple was a miserable failure until he ordered some new business cards from vistaprint?

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) February 23, 2013

If Queen of England walked onto NASCAR racetrack, stripped naked and committed suicide, NASCAR would assert copyright trumps newsworthiness.

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) February 23, 2013

Christianity would be in much better shape if the flesh of Jesus Christ tasted more like prawn cocktail crisps

— Warren Ellis (@warrenellis) February 23, 2013

Will seek royalties from victims with NASCAR tire shaped scar on head @dewittcbs: NASCAR blocking fan videos of crash as copyright violation

— Austan Goolsbee (@Austan_Goolsbee) February 24, 2013

I’m not sure I believe in Myself anymore either.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 24, 2013

Iran says it captured a drone but it won’t release any video of it because, you know, copyright.

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) February 24, 2013

Happy Saturday, kiddies! Remember to take some time out of your busy day to remember dog biscuits.

Interrogatories

Do you play a musical instrument? What instrument do you wish you played, and who do you wish you played like? Who do you wish you could sing like? What’s the best Saturday morning cartoon of all time? Should there be nuts in banana bread? Who is your favorite lyricist?

The Twitter Emitter

RT @horrorsc0pes: #SCORPIO: Bad news: Your astrological charts say you’re in for an awful day. Good news: Astrology is a load of balls.

— Ray Radlein (@Radlein) February 22, 2013

Hannity agreed with Limbaugh about being “ashamed” of America and attacked Obama for “apologizing for America.” In the same show.

— Simon Maloy (@SimonMaloy) February 22, 2013

America is so broke that we can’t fix bridges, hire teachers or give seniors healthcare, says the party that wants to start a war with Iran

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 22, 2013

Remember all those “George Bush” needs to be nicer to Democrats columns? They must be around somewhere.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) February 22, 2013

Watching GOP delaying the Hagel vote is like watching a football team losing 54-7 call a timeout with 8 seconds left to kick a field goal

— TBogg (@tbogg) February 22, 2013

Pinterest says it was hacked. Check immediately to make sure your needlepoint hasn’t been replaced with Mao sayings.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 23, 2013

Rick Scott: “Great news! I cut cost of #Medicaid expansion in Florida from $26 billion to $0. How? I stopped lying about what it would cost”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) February 23, 2013

Our Constitution is under attack. Quick, somebody give it a gun.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) February 23, 2013

Republicans say it’s raining; Democrats say it’s sunny. Rather than go outside and see for themselves, the media reports the controversy.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 23, 2013

I don’t call your name when I make fire burst forth from the mighty volcano, so please don’t call mine when you come.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) February 23, 2013