Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Have you ever lacked a roof over your head?

How good are you at taking tests? At filling in questionnaires?

What’s the most high-tech toy you had as a kid?

What is the oldest photograph you have?

The Twitter Emitter

You know, we'll give Popes who protect pedophiles a pass, but talk bad about capitalism and we've got a problem.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) December 2, 2013

#CyberMondayMadness Seventeen people were trampled in a freak 404 error on http://t.co/X4D6ukAYFs

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) December 2, 2013

Does anyone have footage of the humiliating fistfights at WalMart on Black Friday over Sarah Palin's new book in the clearance bin?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) December 2, 2013

Folks who couldn't walk a mile in your shoes love to point out the scuff marks.

— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) December 2, 2013

Cyber Monday is so exciting. Last night we left cookies and milk for Jeff Bezos.

— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) December 2, 2013

GOP strategy: Let's cut programs to the poor and needy during the holiday season and then complain there's a #WarOnChristmas!

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) December 1, 2013

Let's all get the holiday spirit. Give people a piece of your heart instead of a piece of your mind.

— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) December 1, 2013

The difference between your gun and your vote is someone is actually coming for you vote.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 29, 2013

My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside where it's warm.

— Eastwood (@Eagle_Vision) November 29, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you started sending out your Christmas cards yet? (Stop laughing!)

It’s National Fritters Day. What are the best fritters? Apple? Corn? Or just frittering away the afternoon?

When was the last time you played Bingo? Have you ever been to a bingo parlor?

Who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

The Twitter Emitter

Wingnut advisory: The healthcare website is working. Please switch to Benghazi, IRS, or Obamaphones until another fake outrage is unveiled.

— TBogg (@tbogg) December 1, 2013

I thought racism was hatred of NASCAR.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) December 1, 2013

Rosa Park changed things. Before, buses operated on a racist class system. Now, when I see anyone get on a bus, I just think "they're poor."

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) December 1, 2013

Hard to imagine how isolated someone would have to be think racism was over…or how racist, of course.

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) December 1, 2013

To honor Rosa Parks' refusal to give up her seat on a bus, Republicans will defund public transit.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) December 1, 2013

RWNJ dissing FLOTUS for indulging in something fattening never understand they're simply revealing they're incapable of moderation. #PieGate

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) December 1, 2013

When Peggy Noonan starts with the Obamacare/Titanic metaphors, it usually means she's run out of ice for her scotch.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) December 1, 2013

Ladies, any man who calls his own personal anatomy 'junk' is never going to learn how to take care of yours.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) December 2, 2013

Scott Walker says the GOP needs to have an "optimistic message". Good idea! Maybe something about how great it is to be rich and white.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) December 2, 2013

Look, up in the air … it's a bird, it's a plane … it's your sex toy delivered by drone from Amazon.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) December 2, 2013

Interrogatories

How was dinner? Did it treat you well?

What is the first video game you ever played? What was the last? Where/are you any good?

Have you ever square danced? Line danced? Any other form of group dancing?

Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet? Will you shop today (Black Friday)? Did you shop on Thanksgiving Day?

What do you do with your change (coins) every day?

The Twitter Emitter

Buy stock in George Zimmerman lawyers…

— Political Line (@PoliticaILine) November 26, 2013

Paul Ryan: "Pope Francis wants the Catholic Church to be 'a missionary church focused on the poor'? No way! Jesus would never want that."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 27, 2013

"Hobby Lobby" is probably their secret name for the room where they keep their Gimp.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 27, 2013

Nothing quite says "I don't worship capitalism" like freaking out when the Pope says you worship capitalism.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) November 27, 2013

Limbaugh rejects Pope's call for “dignified work, education & health care” for all, asks sluts to send him sex-tapes 4 birth control instead

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 27, 2013

At least Dayna Morales, the lying un-tipped New Jersey waitress, can take solace in the fact that Lara Logan still believes her.

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 27, 2013

Mitch McConnell: "If the Senate doesn't pass a resolution, the pardoning of turkeys will be unconsitutional under Advise & Consent Clause."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 27, 2013

When you see my face on a tortilla or a grilled cheese sandwich that means it’s my lunch, leave it alone.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) November 27, 2013

What does the Fox say? Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ghazi.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) November 28, 2013

Next up on Fox News: We'll interview 10 death row inmates who claim innocence who are upset that Obama pardoned turkeys instead of them.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 28, 2013

Interrogatories

If you’re an old movie fan, which movie studio’s output (MGM, Warner, Paramount, RKO, etc.) your favorite?

Who was your favorite comedy team or troupe?

Are you obedient of the speed limit, even when traveling long distances? How many speeding tickets have you received?

What football teams are you rooting for today?

The Twitter Emitter

I am thankful for adjectives.

— David Lubar (@davidlubar) November 26, 2013

The South will rise again. But this time, the odds are it will accidentally shoot itself.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 26, 2013

@KagroX Why dont you ever tweet about the stories where people use guns to successfully defend themselves from bullet ricochets? #Bias

— Political Line (@PoliticaILine) November 26, 2013

If a zygote bypassing implantation inside a stranger keeps you up at night, but not hungry kids next door, you may be anti-choice #prochoice

— Liz (@childfreediva) November 27, 2013

What kind of vodka did the pilgrims drink at the first Thanksgiving?

— Kaili Joy Gray (@KailiJoy) November 27, 2013

I think we should have a public vote on whether to legalise cannabis. We could call it the 'Reefer-endum'.

— Adam Roberts (@arrroberts) November 27, 2013

What about MY first amendment rights to shame MY female employees? #tcot

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 27, 2013

Does America manufacture more outrage than any other product?

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) November 27, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever been to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade? How about the Hollywood one? The Rose Parade? Any parades?

Did your family follow politics when you were growing up? Do you remember watching the conventions and debates with them as a child? What was that like?

Do you prefer things to be scented or unscented?

How worried are you about the Supreme Court’s ultimate decision over this religious exemption?

The Twitter Emitter

#ThanksgivingTips Be sure to yell when arguing about Obama with young, liberal relatives. First one to raise their voice wins the argument!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 26, 2013

Walmart could pay its employees a living wage if it would stop trying to make some of the richest Americans richer. http://t.co/esn92X6mnj

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 26, 2013

Obama's approval ratings fell again on news that he's trying to make healthcare affordable for all and prevent nuclear war.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 26, 2013

Must be hard to be a neocon at #Christmas. Having to cross PEACE off every card and scrawling WAR instead #WarOnChristmas

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 26, 2013

Sobering to know in a few days you'll be sitting at the dinner table with family members who don't care if you die from lack of healthcare.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) November 26, 2013

I don't care what the Supreme Court says, corporations should have the right to a religion when they also get the right to go to jail.

— glenn o'brien (@lordrochester) November 26, 2013

There is no war on Christmas, dammit, but the war on Thanxgiving is REAL. The impoverished in America have nothing to be thankful for.

— David (@ahzoov) November 26, 2013

Ted Cruz believes that life begins when your boss says it begins. http://t.co/pWeyNOYufc

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 26, 2013

Religious exemptions are the road back to feudalism.

— Brent S. Sirota (@BrentSirota) November 26, 2013

If the Supreme Court allows religion in the workplace first thing I'm doing start a religion where work is prohibited on Monday mornings…

— Political Line (@PoliticaILine) November 26, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you ever belong to a fraternity or sorority? If so, which one?

How do you prepare your Thanksgiving turkey (or tofurkey, or other alternative)?

Have you ever vacationed in an RV? Would you ever?

What are some of your favorite family expressions, exclamations, etc. that are rarely heard anywhere these days?

The Twitter Emitter

Q: How many leftists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I'm really not sure lightbulb-installation should be our main priority.

— Benjamin Kunkel (@das_kunk) November 25, 2013

You may soon be able to use your cell on a plane. Which means I may soon be stuffing it into your lower intestine.

— Denis Leary (@denisleary) November 25, 2013

Hi, I'm offended at Martin Bashir's offensive comments about Sarah Palin's much much more offensive slavery comment which didn't offend me.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 25, 2013

Syeve Doocy thinks it's "curious timing" that Thanksgiving is coming just after the Iran deal so people will be encourage to feel thankful.

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) November 25, 2013

REMEMBER: We should let the people who want war set our foreign policy and those who don't care about the insured decide on health care.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 25, 2013

Maybe the people pushing for war with Iran are actually trying to distract us from the fact they just cut food aid to 48 million people

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 25, 2013

PREVIEW: Ted Cruz's alternative plan specifies that those who want health insurance should marry a banker with a good plan like he did.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 25, 2013

If I were president, I'd want John Bolton to be my advisor. Just do the opposite of what he says, and you can't go wrong.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) November 25, 2013

Powerful Winter Storm Providing Plausible Excuse Material

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 26, 2013

Interrogatories

What are you blasé about that still excites other people?

What big news event was the first you remember (like the Kennedy assassination was for many) and what do you remember about it?

Every century has a “trial of the century” and/or “Crime of the century” alongside the “storm of the century.” What trial, crime, and storm represents the last century for you?

Do you know, or did your family know, anyone who was blacklisted during the communist witch hunts of the 1950s?

The Twitter Emitter

Fundamentalist Christianity means believing Jesus wants us to help the poor by voting against ever ever helping the poor.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 21, 2013

George W. Bush: "I did the best I could do. It's hard to worry about all that stuff and still get 130 vacation days in each year."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 21, 2013

There is no way 2 make fertilized eggs, embryos, and fetuses "full people w/constitutional rights" and not eliminated personhood of women.

— Jodi Jacobson (@jljacobson) November 21, 2013

An asteroid didn't kill the dinosaurs. Changing judicial confirmation procedures did.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) November 21, 2013

Pretty sure Pearl Harbor, 9/11, and Vietnam are still available as completely inappropriate ACA analogies

— Jeremy Holden (@JerAHolden) November 23, 2013

Interrogatories

Where do you stand on the Kennedy assassination? Do you believe Oswald acted alone, or do you subscribe to one of the other theories floating around out there?

It’s Start Your Own Country Day again. What kind of topography would your country have? What kind of climate? What kind of government?

On Go For a Ride Day, describe your ultimate ride? Is it a plane, a train, an automobile? Perhaps a cool vintage motorcycle? Maybe even a horse?

Are you an out of the can cranberry sauce aficionado (like 90% of Americans) or do you like the REAL thing? (I think I may have revealed where I stand on this issue.)

Cell phone conversations on planes? Yea or Nay?

The Twitter Emitter

@JC_Christian Zimmerman's lead in the 2016 GOP primary is looking insurmountable after the latest news.

— steve buie (@misterhaircutt) November 21, 2013

"I believe in forgiveness and redemption," says Trey Radel. "Unless you need welfare. Then I also require a drug test." #GOP #DoubleStandard

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 21, 2013

These Judges are BENGHAZI SOCIALIZED GAY MEDICINE !

— rootless (@root_e) November 21, 2013

Senate's going nuclear? Shit. I hadn't stocked up on canned goods and @treyradel says he's out of coke!

— Young GOP Gums (@YoungGOPGums) November 21, 2013

Republicans suggest a compromise: Eliminate filibuster for judicial nominees, but only when GOP in power.

— Sr. WH Official (@SrWHOfficial) November 21, 2013

Gonna be great when DC circuit rules Reid's attempt to change rules to put judges on DC circuit unconstitutional.

— NickBaumann (@NickBaumann) November 21, 2013

"Harry Reid isn't being fair!" - The Party That #Shutdown The Fucking Government #NuclearOption #GOP #p2

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) November 21, 2013

I wanted single payer filibuster reform.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 21, 2013

I think we should have saved "the nuclear option" to describe people being able to make cell phone calls on planes.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 21, 2013

I would be cool with the Senate buying some cocaine tonight.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 21, 2013

Filibuster change with 52 votes = tyranny. Also, Obacare with 60 votes = tyranny. M-O-O-N, that spells tyranny!

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 22, 2013

By the time my train pulls into DC, the woman behind me will have achieved the rare feat of having no unexpressed opinions.

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) November 21, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s False Confession Day! Tell us something really good that you didn’t really do.

You can tell we’re in the lead up to Thanksgiving. What kind of stuffing do you like? Do you prefer it cooked in or outside of the bird?

Do you smoke? If not, did you ever? How hard was it to quit? (this could be a repeat question)

It is also Use Less Stuff Day. If you combine the first two words, you get Useless Stuff Day. Do you have any Useless Stuff to get rid of? What’s keeping you?

Bonus question stolen from Chris Hayes’ show last night: If you were President, who would you give the Presidential Medal of Freedom to?

The Twitter Emitter

The only groups that want to repeal Obamacare are whites and Republicans, or — as the GOP calls them — everyone. http://t.co/ro8lORGbzg

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 20, 2013

When Trey Raydel drops his rap album I hope he calls himself MC White Privilege.

— Shugah (@Shugah) November 20, 2013

Pssst, America? You're actually allowed to do Small Business Saturday on Black Friday.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 20, 2013

Obamacare is Stalin's Waterloo. (did I get that right?)

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) November 20, 2013

Paul Ryan: "My proposal will end poverty by eliminating food stamps and Medicaid so the poor will start businesses with money from parents."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 20, 2013

what do you call a sleep walking nun? a roamin' Catholic.

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) November 21, 2013

No cats received a Presidential Medal of Freedom today. A travesty.

— The Fucking Cat (@TheFuckingCat) November 21, 2013

I can't be partisan, I have a Republican friend. #Proof #UniteBlue

— GOPathetic (@GOPathetic) November 21, 2013

Rep. Trey Radel isn't a hypocrite for voting to make food stamp recipients take drug tests– he was high and didn't know what he was doing.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 21, 2013

Interrogatories

Who or what do you nominate for most absurd for today’s National Absurdity Day?

Have you named your PC (or Mac or whatever you have)? What is it? Have you named any other devices or household appliances?

Have you named your car? (I thought of a really personal one I could ask the guys, but I politely refrained.)

What company do you use for your phone? Cable? How awful are they?

Have you ever had an out of body experience?

The Twitter Emitter

George Zimmerman just learned that assaulting someone who's not black can get you arrested, like, right away.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 18, 2013

Not saying the market for #Bitcoin has peaked, but Manti Te'o sold all his this afternoon

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 19, 2013

Gettysburg Address is just the same old partisan slavemaster blaming from the 1860 campaign. Lincoln needs to reach across the aisle.

— Matt Yglesias (@mattyglesias) November 19, 2013

@CRobertBuchanan @KagroX Come on guys, lay off Walmart. They open at 6 on Thanksgiving, so it's not like their employees get to eat anyway.

— Spencer Windes (@spencerwindes) November 19, 2013

Was going to have a beer but I was afraid of becoming an alcoholic so I did a pound of cocaine instead.

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 19, 2013

My Dad isn't "testing" you, He's fucking with you. There's a difference.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) November 19, 2013

I am looking forward to 6pm Thanksgiving Day when Walmart opens its doors for its annual sale of trampled human corpses.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 19, 2013

I have a feeling the GOP may regret that the only minority they did any outreach to in 2013 was George Zimmerman.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 20, 2013

George Zimmerman: "I no longer feel safe around women now the judge has taken my guns away."

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 20, 2013