The fix is in, the die has been cast, the Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate has been chosen.
Many have wondered, many have guessed, many have spoken with authority. But all were wrong.
Senator Barack Obama has chosen Klaatu as his running mate. You may know Klaatu from the documentary cleverly disguised as a fictional movie titled “The Day the Earth Stood Still”.
Klaatu will be accompanied by his robot friend Gort who is programmed to destroy the earth if we cannot control our violence. Klaatu and Gort have been travelling to our planet for many years and beamed the script ahead of them into the mind of director Robert Wise, who created the documentary. Asked about the striking resemblance between himself and Michael Rennie Klaatu replied, “That was just a fluke. Everyone in outer space looks like Michael Rennie, I was surprised as anyone when he got the lead role.”
Upon arriving on earth Klaatu was besieged by reporters but begged off any long interviews saying he needed to sleep off four hundred light-years of jetlag. He did share some observations with reporters, smiling ironically as he said such things as “it appears I wasn’t a minute too late” and “I’ll talk to you all after I get Gort’s batteries topped up.”
Senator Obama declined any extended interviews as well until after he can have extensive closed disussions with his running mate. One reporter did overhear him saying to an aide something along the lines of “Georgia my ass”, but that cannot be confirmed at this time.
This is Chris Blask reporting from the Washington Mall at the foot of the first interstellar craft to carry a US vice presidential candidate.