Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

Mitch McConnell

Me to GOP: Tough. YOU don’t get to choose.

In the wake of Eric Holder’s announcement that he will be stepping down as Attorney General, the media is filled with right-wing bloviating (no, right-wing, Eric Holder’s Justice Department is NOT “scandal ridden” … any more than “Romney won Ohio”).

This headline from The Hill stomped on my last nerve:

“GOP to Obama: Don’t replace Holder in lame-duck Congress”.

That article includes this quote from Ted Cruz:

“Allowing Democratic senators, many of whom will likely have just been defeated at the polls, to confirm Holder’s successor would be an abuse of power that should not be countenanced”.

“This shall not stand!” proclaims man whose freshness date expired months ago. “Abuse of power” and “should not be countenanced” are, of course, code words for impeachment. Go with that, GOP!! It has worked so well for you in the past. If the Republicans want to waste their time on impeachment to please their shrinking base, let them. The country needs a strong, intelligent, principled, Democratic replacement to continue the important work that Eric Holder started; if we have a better chance to get that now rather than later, with a thinner majority, we should do it.  

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Senator McConnell’s Progressive Liberal voting record, his absolute iron fisted rule over the Republican Party in Kentucky and his willingness to roll over and cede power to President Obama and the Liberals in Washington, prove that he is no friend to the American people or the citizens of the Commonwealth of Kentucky.

source

over the rainbow for some rolling and ceding…

State Of The Union Limerick Live-Blog Recap!

I managed to sneak these limericks into the State of the Union liveblogging tsunami of comments over at The Place That Shall Not Be Named. Thought you might enjoy this alternative account of the festivities 😉

Speaker Boehner: hey, what’s up with him?

The orange fellow is looking quite grim

As his caucus rebels

He develops new “tells”

Will he ever prevail? Odds are slim.

All the others seem happy enough

(Then they’re made of less lachrymose stuff)

Boehner always seems blue

And can weep right on cue

I am guessing tonight will be rough.

Poor Paul Ryan; the kid looks upset

Like he just lost a costly bar bet

When your world turns to sh*t

Just call up Uncle Mitt

All your worries he’ll help you forget.

Mitch McConnell stares out into space

With a vacuous look on his face

All expression he lacks

Like a man carved of wax

No museum? He looks out of place.

What’s with Biden? He looks awful pale

Tonight’s make-up was really a “fail”

Let’s just hope he’s alright

And not ailing tonight

‘Cause we need Fightin’ Joe to assail!

This applause for each line’s getting old

Yes, I know, these proposals are bold

But it’s not overreach

To just lay out a speech

Before all these hot ideas grow cold.

Just imagine if Mitt gave this speech

We’d be watching with one painful screech

We’d be screaming in pain

As he sold out to Bain

But tonight he’s on Cayman’s white beach.

Manufacturing! Yesss! Tell us more!

Now Obama’s got programs in store

To bring jobs back again

For our women and men

It’s a message we cannot ignore.

Infrastructure! It’s time to get real!

Crumbling bridges? Let’s move on that deal!

Weatherize every home

Be it bung’low or dome

Help our kids get a good school-day meal!

Education from preschool for all!

What about it? Let’s answer the call!

Our investment return

As our kids really learn

Will have all of our folks standing tall!

Go to college (you won’t be a snob!)

It’s essential for any good job

We’ll help parents to find

Which school won’t be a grind

To help cute little Cindy or Bob

Immigration? More boots on the ground!

We need people – ideas will abound!

Send me up the damn bill

Don’t waste time on the Hill!

And enough with your whimpering sound!

When you live in this challenging age

You can’t get by on minimum wage

In the land of the brave

You’re a lowly wage slave

That is really a dreadful outrage!

Many troops will return from afar

Well, the generals look like they are

Feeling sad to hear that

But peacetime’s where it’s at

I’ll buy them the first round at the bar!

Now it’s freedom, for folks the world o’er

As we travel to each distant shore

As Commander in Chief

It’s Obama’s belief

That although we’ve done much, there’s still more.

Equal treatment for all, straight or gay!

And yet Boehner just sits, ashen gray

As he seethes in his seat

In his squirmy defeat

Face it, orangeman: today’s a new day

Gun control: now it’s time we get real

This is really a simple appeal

Since the Newtown dark day

Many more passed away

Like Hadiya, so folks: here’s the deal

It’s past time for the Congress to act

On the measures that Gabby has backed

For the families who’ve cried

We are here by your side

We must feel your deep pain and react

As the gun carnage stats are rolled out

There is something of which there’s no doubt

Hey: Ted Nugent! You turd

We will not hear one word

Because “hate” is not what we’re about!

Now rebuttals come next, I can’t wait!

First I’ll fix a nice little snack plate

Then I’ll drink to the Prez

And the things that he says

But for GOPers, I won’t stay up late.

Dinosaur Extinction Update: GOPasaurs Gone Wild!

It’s been eons since my last dinosaur extinction diary over at The Place That Shall Not Be Named. For those of you who’ve been following me from there, you know the drill: they’re periodic updates on GOP dinosaurs (GOPasaurs) who are long overdue for extinction, but still of interest to the Grim Reaper. I’ve long suspected that the Reaper is keeping them alive purely for entertainment purposes, so let’s join him in the fun!

Wisconsosaurus ronjohnsonii – new on the scene – at least in the scale of geologic time – this Baggasaur already displays delusions of adequacy. Attempting to sink his teeth into Clintonasaurus hillarii in a shameful display of misdirected Mesozoic self-aggrandizement, W. ronjohnsonii has caused massive tectonic upheaval in the Wisconsinan terrain, as millions of residents fall to their knees simultaneously, begging forgiveness for electing this Cretaceous miscreant.

McCainasuaurus getoffamylawnii – what? Not extinct yet? For the love of [insert name of deity here]. Proving once again that there’s no time limit on crankiness, M. getoffamylawnii continues to vocalize his deep, deep dismay at the current state of affairs in every available venue. Following the meteoric rise and stunning fall from grace of his protégé, the hapless Griftasaurus palinii, M. getoffamylawnii has found a new paleo-pal, Granitestatasaurus ayotteii to reprise the role of Etta Place to his geriatric Sundance Kid, to very creepy effect.

Nonnamedforaynrandasaurus paulii – with his octogenarian progenitor gone from the scene, it falls to young N. paulii to pick up the Mesozoic mantle. His bizarre mammalian coif is a useless disguise, for this is a cold-blooded creature with Freon in its veins.  Under his [highly] theoretical faux presidency, Things Would Be Different, and C. hillarii would have been tossed into the nearest volcano for her role in the Benghazi Extinctions. Fortunately for all concerned, N. paulii has already reached the limits of his evolutionary journey and will not be redecorating the White Cave, ever.

Behemasaurus christii – taxonomists are giving this hefty Jerseysaur a second look as researchers continue to identify mammalian tendencies such as genuine (seeming) compassion for the young, the weak, and the storm-tossed. These behaviors (and B. christii’s “palling around” with Obamasaurus Rex) have inflamed fellow GOPasaurs who rightfully fear that B. christii will loom large in more ways than one as the 2016 election nears.  

Brontosaurus romneii – after a crushing defeat, all that’s left of this Bainosaur is a pile of unpaid bills for the fireworks and catering at the over-the-top victory celebration. Acceding to the wishes of millions (including many in his own party), B. romneii has indeed disappeared from the scene, returning to the world of corporate doings, surrounded by his vast (or half-vast) dynastic clan, his domestic staff, his multiple well-appointed caves, and his untold wealth. Since his mate, Dressageasaurus annii, announced that this was B. romneii’s Final Campaign, perhaps he has truly taken his place in the fossil record. One can hope.

Prevaricasaurus ryanii – slowly realizing that he had aligned himself with a losing venture, this witless follower of the Ayn Rand Petroglyphs continues to scratch and claw his way back to some semblance of relevance, to no avail. As his fellow GOPasaurs tear each other limb from limb, they just don’t seem to care about their paleo-wunderkind any more, proving that you needn’t be old to become extinct.

Bloviasaurus limbaughii – as his sponsors run, screaming, into the hills, B. limbaughii ratchets up his caustic Cretaceous crudeness to unprecedented levels, to the delight of the six remaining listeners in Misogyny, Montana. Once a Force To Be Reckoned with, spewing his vile pronouncements across the land from his Oxycontin-filled cave, B. limbaughii is now at the top of the Reaper’s list, as soon as the Reaper can find a large enough volcano.

Boehnersaurus lachrymosii – how this weepy orange creature has eluded the Reaper is a mystery, but despite attacks from his closest allies, he remains to fight another day. With the help of his goggle-eyed sidekick, Archelon mcconnellii, B. lachrymosii has led the Great Capitulation of GOPasaurs who are too busy with their GOPasaur-on-GOPasaur violence to organize against the Greatness Of Obamasaurus Rex. Extinction, when it comes, will look an awful lot like Velociraptor cantorii, the most cold-blooded of the bunch, who is just biding his time until he sinks his fangs into his colleague. Nothing personal, he’ll say. It’s just business.