Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

State Of The Union Limerick Live-Blog Recap!

I managed to sneak these limericks into the State of the Union liveblogging tsunami of comments over at The Place That Shall Not Be Named. Thought you might enjoy this alternative account of the festivities 😉

Speaker Boehner: hey, what’s up with him?

The orange fellow is looking quite grim

As his caucus rebels

He develops new “tells”

Will he ever prevail? Odds are slim.

All the others seem happy enough

(Then they’re made of less lachrymose stuff)

Boehner always seems blue

And can weep right on cue

I am guessing tonight will be rough.

Poor Paul Ryan; the kid looks upset

Like he just lost a costly bar bet

When your world turns to sh*t

Just call up Uncle Mitt

All your worries he’ll help you forget.

Mitch McConnell stares out into space

With a vacuous look on his face

All expression he lacks

Like a man carved of wax

No museum? He looks out of place.

What’s with Biden? He looks awful pale

Tonight’s make-up was really a “fail”

Let’s just hope he’s alright

And not ailing tonight

‘Cause we need Fightin’ Joe to assail!

This applause for each line’s getting old

Yes, I know, these proposals are bold

But it’s not overreach

To just lay out a speech

Before all these hot ideas grow cold.

Just imagine if Mitt gave this speech

We’d be watching with one painful screech

We’d be screaming in pain

As he sold out to Bain

But tonight he’s on Cayman’s white beach.

Manufacturing! Yesss! Tell us more!

Now Obama’s got programs in store

To bring jobs back again

For our women and men

It’s a message we cannot ignore.

Infrastructure! It’s time to get real!

Crumbling bridges? Let’s move on that deal!

Weatherize every home

Be it bung’low or dome

Help our kids get a good school-day meal!

Education from preschool for all!

What about it? Let’s answer the call!

Our investment return

As our kids really learn

Will have all of our folks standing tall!

Go to college (you won’t be a snob!)

It’s essential for any good job

We’ll help parents to find

Which school won’t be a grind

To help cute little Cindy or Bob

Immigration? More boots on the ground!

We need people – ideas will abound!

Send me up the damn bill

Don’t waste time on the Hill!

And enough with your whimpering sound!

When you live in this challenging age

You can’t get by on minimum wage

In the land of the brave

You’re a lowly wage slave

That is really a dreadful outrage!

Many troops will return from afar

Well, the generals look like they are

Feeling sad to hear that

But peacetime’s where it’s at

I’ll buy them the first round at the bar!

Now it’s freedom, for folks the world o’er

As we travel to each distant shore

As Commander in Chief

It’s Obama’s belief

That although we’ve done much, there’s still more.

Equal treatment for all, straight or gay!

And yet Boehner just sits, ashen gray

As he seethes in his seat

In his squirmy defeat

Face it, orangeman: today’s a new day

Gun control: now it’s time we get real

This is really a simple appeal

Since the Newtown dark day

Many more passed away

Like Hadiya, so folks: here’s the deal

It’s past time for the Congress to act

On the measures that Gabby has backed

For the families who’ve cried

We are here by your side

We must feel your deep pain and react

As the gun carnage stats are rolled out

There is something of which there’s no doubt

Hey: Ted Nugent! You turd

We will not hear one word

Because “hate” is not what we’re about!

Now rebuttals come next, I can’t wait!

First I’ll fix a nice little snack plate

Then I’ll drink to the Prez

And the things that he says

But for GOPers, I won’t stay up late.


19 comments

  1. cassandracarolina

    Good hydration’s essential, we know

    There’s a time and place for it, though

    With his gulps and flop-sweat

    We will never forget

    Marco’s free-fall from “savior” to “D’OH!!!  

  2. Portlaw

    Boehner and Cantor would not. Let alone Graham and MaCain! BTW, did those guys once stand and applaud last night?

Comments are closed.