Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

It’s Festival of Popular Delusions Day. On the political right there are a lot of popular delusions. Which one is your favorite? Do any of them worry you?

Don’t you think National Gingerbread Day should be in the fall or winter?

What’s your favorite love song?

The Twitter Emitter

America leads the world in reality shows about what female reality show stars do after their reality shows end.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) June 3, 2013

In a dictatorship, one man fucks up the country. In a democracy, everyone does it together. #occupygezi

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 3, 2013

Many people think that Congress regulates Wall Street, but the truth is Wall Street regulates the Congress. thehill.com/blogs/regwatch…

— Bernie Sanders (@SenSanders) June 3, 2013

It’s the moral guardians who think of the sickest shit that no one else could even imagine.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) June 4, 2013

If you answer for military rape is to take women out of the military, you have agreed that men are rapists, and that can never change.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) June 4, 2013

Children are finding their parents’guns and shooting themselves. Solution: Eliminate Children. #JohnMcCainProblemSolving101

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) June 4, 2013

I was just imagining the silence of the media if Oscar Pistorious had murdered an unattractive person.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) June 4, 2013

McConnell: “Obama is creating a culture of intimidation. For example, none of the judges he nominated today is a Koch Industries employee”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) June 4, 2013

Why is Chris Christie wasting $24 million on an election when he could just appoint someone? That could pay for 17 Obamacare repeal votes!!!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) June 4, 2013

Stimulus idea: Lots and lots of special elections.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) June 4, 2013

Remember when Sandra Day O’Connor resigned & George Bush packed the court by filling the empty slot with Samuel Alito?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) June 4, 2013

@owillis @jbendery Only a tyrannical madman President would dare think of nominating 3 appointees when there are 3 vacancies. The horror!

— El Cid (@EnBuenora) June 4, 2013

Lately, YouTube is like Sarah Palin — it starts and immediately quits and the whole thing seems like a setup to sell you something.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) June 4, 2013

NYC – where my Governor wants to legalize pot while my Mayor wants to ban junk food.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) June 4, 2013

Interrogatories

What was the worst paying job you ever worked?

Ice cream or frozen yogurt? Are nuts permissible?

What is your motto?

Who was the worst neighbor you ever had?

Who was the best neighbor you ever had?

How do you rank as a neighbor?

The Twitter Emitter

At last, some ALONE time, he tweeted to a quarter of a million people.

— Joss Whedon (@josswhedon) June 2, 2013

Creationism: Because it’s easier to read one book than a whole bunch of hard ones.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) June 3, 2013

Excited to see what wedding ideas come out of tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones onto Pinterest tomorrow

— Samir Mezrahi (@samir) June 3, 2013

Not up on “Thrones” but hear George killed more peeps – can he PLEEZ have my rep now so I can stop hearing about it? #gettingold

— Joss Whedon (@josswhedon) June 3, 2013

Dim Sum is not an explanation of Michelle Bachmann.

— Justice Putnam (@justiceputnam) June 3, 2013

Why doesn’t George R.R. Martin use twitter? Because he killed all 140 characters. #got

— Tweety Tweets (@TomVeos) June 3, 2013

When life gives you lemons, DO NOT ACCEPT DELIVERY! They are nonconforming goods, and you may be entitled to damages for breach of contract.

— Zach Lee (@ThisLegalZ) June 3, 2013

Chris Matthews to Joy Reid: “You’re just as smart as me. “What a horrible insult.

— Tiffany (@tiffpats4eva) June 3, 2013

So did Darrell Issa kill anyone when he was an arsonist? I’m not saying he WAS an arsonist, but these questions should be asked.

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) June 3, 2013

I support the separation of church and reality.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) June 3, 2013

Interrogatories

For National Egg Day, how do you like your eggs?

Who is your least favorite (most hated) politician?

Who is your least favorite pundit?

Who is your favorite politician?

Who is your favorite pundit?

The Twitter Emitter

It’s like you have to win a major election these days to score some crack.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) May 31, 2013

Austerity = I can buy your home real cheap because the bank illegally foreclosed on it.

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) May 31, 2013

What if the arc of the moral universe bends toward derp?

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) May 31, 2013

Mitch McConnell: “Obama is like Nixon! You know, the President Republicans have been telling you ‘wasn’t so bad’ for the past 40 years”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) June 1, 2013

Horrible tornado disasters: Too steep a price to pay for NOT having “Lockup” on MSNBC?

— Ray Radlein (@Radlein) June 1, 2013

Monsanto is different from Frankenstein because Frankenstein had ethics.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) June 1, 2013

Planned Parenthood tries to help women with MEDICINE, when we all know PRAYER works better.#exposePP

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) June 1, 2013

Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that sending ricin letters to Obama over gun control is political speech and is protected under Citizens United.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) June 2, 2013

Daughter said new Walmart slogan should be “Lower prices means lower wages.” #nerdland

— Blair LM Kelley (@profblmkelley) June 2, 2013

I wish vacuuming was a sport so that I could play it recreationally a few times a year and talk about how good I used to be at it.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) June 2, 2013

John McCain wants to pick a fight with Iran. Someone please check his diaper.

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) June 2, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you smoke? If not now, did you ever? How hard was it to quit?

What living person do you most admire?

What is the most overrated virtue?

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?

If you could choose what to come back as, would it be the same?

The Twitter Emitter

Conservatives urge the poor to have lots of kids so they can keep them economically desperate & then exploit them as cheap labor & soldiers

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) May 30, 2013

I do agree with @ewerickson that men and women should play ‘complimentary roles’. Praising each other all the time sounds great!

— Danielle(@DCPlod) May 30, 2013

I have to admit, fundies like Erick Erickson do make me question my belief in evolution. Just not the way they intend.

— Danielle(@DCPlod) May 30, 2013

So, @senjohnmccain says he can tell good people from bad. Yeah. This is the guy who picked Palin!

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) May 30, 2013

Michele Bachmann once tried to convert to Buddhism but the Dalai Lama felt she was already too Empty.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 30, 2013

Airplanes have now banned tweezers. I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.

— Grumpy Cat(@ItsTheGrumpyCat) May 30, 2013

My social media consultant says I need to do a better job using hashtags. #FuckThatGuy

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 30, 2013

The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since ‘pro’ is the opposite of ‘con’ shouldn’t we call it prosti…..oh wait. OK.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) May 30, 2013

I think Erick Erickson has confused the ability to eat cheese and belch the National Anthem with being an alpha male.

— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) May 30, 2013

How to tell your theories about what women should be allowed to do are outdated: You have theories about what women should be allowed to do.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 30, 2013

Interrogatories

Croissants – plain, filled, sweet?

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

What commonplace personal habit do you find most annoying?

What habit do you have that you wish you didn’t have?

What is your greatest extravagance?

The Twitter Emitter

@lolgop The modern GOP has the same relationship to Reagan they do to Christ. Both beliefs are highly redacted versions of the originals.

— Jaye Simms (@Missjayette) May 28, 2013

Rick Perry: “The tree of liberty must be watered from time to time with the blood of uninsured poor people.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 28, 2013

See what you’ve done Minnesota? You legalise gay marriage and now it’s destroyed Michele Bachmann’s Congressional career. FOR SHAME.

— Danielle(@DCPlod) May 29, 2013

In my other prayer to Satan, Bachman’s husband marries Lindsay Graham

— Cranston Snord (@BostonSnob) May 29, 2013

Michele Bachmann will leave congress to star in the new NBC drama “Law And Order: HPV”

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) May 29, 2013

“Who will protect us now from Census workers using Sharia law to kill us with homosexual Obamacare?” nym.ag/132JG2J

— wizardkitten (@wizardkitten) May 29, 2013

Stand with Michelle – it’s a No Brainer.

— rootless (@root_e) May 29, 2013

Michele Bachmann leaving congress to spend more time praying away her husband’s gay. @ryannewyork:

— A. Deno Vir, MD PhD (@Adenovir) May 29, 2013

“Today I am even more concerned about our country’s future than I have ever been in the past.” So, I quit. -Michele Bachmann

— Anne C. Savage (@Anne_Savage) May 29, 2013

Will be great to get Michelle Bachmann off government sustenance. We’ve supported her long enough.#p2 #ctl #topprog #tcot #tlot #teaparty

— ÐiegoUK (@DiegoUK) May 29, 2013

Yeah, but how bitchin’ a rendition of “Let the Eagle Soar” can James Comey sing?

— WeeLaura (@WeeLaura) May 30, 2013

Interrogatories

What was your first pet?

Do you compost at all? (Even some cities have composting programs.)

Do you do anything to keep fit?

What song is in your head right now (if none, what was the most recent one)?

Comfort or style?

The Twitter Emitter

On thre plus side, the infrastructure literally exploding out from under us is a big win for those of us who refuse to leave the house.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) May 26, 2013

We trust you with your guns on campus, but not your votes.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 27, 2013

John McCain met with the Syrian rebels for a few hours and is now prepared to make a big choice. When has this process ever gone wrong?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 27, 2013

The question is no longer “What kind of world are you leaving for your children?” but “Why even bother having children?”

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 27, 2013

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Mike Tyson stories.

— Touré (@Toure) May 28, 2013

Obama made Nate Silver buy crack from Hitler during Benghazi & both sides are equally to blame, but it’s fixable with a charm offensive.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 28, 2013

If ignorance is bliss, why is the world so unhappy?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 28, 2013

John McCain: “I met with rebels in Syria yesterday, but don’t worry, they promised me none of them were in Al Qaeda.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 28, 2013

How much is it costing us for John McCain to wander around Syria?

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) May 28, 2013

A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.

— Alan Colmes (@AlanColmes) May 28, 2013

Was John McCain high on cocaine while in Syria? Well, it DOES rhyme, so the theory has THAT going for it.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 28, 2013

McCain Captivates Syrian Rebels With “Old Man” Stories And Juggling.

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) May 28, 2013

More than 200 people gathered support the people arrested for peaceably protesting at the N.C General Assembly building in Raleigh, North Carolina.

This is the powerful message of a growing movement in North Carolina.

Gathered together on “Moral Mondays” a coalition of activist North Carolinian’s of all races, and ethnicities-the young and the old, are putting their bodies on the line, and getting arrested to defend and advance civil and human rights in the state.

Crowds Grow and Arrests Continue at NC General Assembly | Moral Monday 4th

This is what a movement looks like.

Interrogatories

Oceans, lakes, or rivers (best bodies of water)?

How long does it take you to get ready to go out?

What is your favorite war movie?

When you die, do you want to be buried or cremated?

How do you make the perfect hamburger (or veggie burger)?

The Twitter Emitter

Libertarian crackers don’t recognize that if it weren’t for the Tennesse Valley Authority, they’d still be pooping in unlit outhouses.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) May 26, 2013

Jupiter, Venus and Mercury form a triangle low in the western sky tonight, opening a portal for arrival of the Cicada mothership.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 27, 2013

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death my right to tell you “STFU I’m watching the ballgame.”

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) May 27, 2013

Trying to find the part of the Constitution where is says our only duty is to maximize shareholder value.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 27, 2013

Let’s honor our war dead by giving proper benefits to our war living.

— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) May 27, 2013

Enforce the laws already on the books! (Except section 501c4.)

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 27, 2013

Rand Paul’s 2016 prospects are not helped by the fact people already sick of looking at him in 2013

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) May 27, 2013

Good things come to those who pay for them.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 27, 2013

My father spent the 1940’s crawling thru Europe on his belly. He wasn’t in the war, he just had a horrible travel agent.

— Elayne Boosler (@ElayneBoosler) May 27, 2013

The Big Book of Spiteful Legislation.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) May 27, 2013

Letting politicians who hate government run the government is like letting Michael Vick run PETA.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 27, 2013

On This Day

In 1588, the Spanish Armada took off from Lisbon for England, where it met with eventual defeat.

In 1830, President Andrew Jackson signed the nefarious Indian Removal Act.

In 1892, the Sierra Club was founded by conservationist John Muir.

In 1934, the Dionne Quintuplets were born, the first known to have survived infancy.

In 1957, the National League OK’d the moves of the Brooklyn Dodgers to L.A. and the New York Giants to San Francisco.

In 1996, President Clinton’s ex-business partners in the Whitewater deal were convicted of fraud. 3 separate inquiries found no wrongdoing by the Clintons, but Republicans continued frothing at the mouth over the affair (as they are wont to do).

Interrogatories

Is there anyone in particular that you take the time to remember and celebrate on Memorial Day?

Aspirin, ibuprofen, or acetaminophen?

Do you still read any magazines (paper, not online)? Which ones?

Do you still write checks to pay your bills, or do you pay online?

Do you go to sleep and get up at the same time every day, or does it vary? Are you a napper?

The Twitter Emitter

Reading is fundamental but misreading is fundamentalism.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 22, 2013

Yes, there’s a terrible scandal in govt. It lies in the broken oaths of a political party more devoted to destroying Obama than serving us.

— Dave (@YouGiveMeFever7) May 23, 2013

Sheriff Joe Arpaio: “We don’t racially profile. We don’t target blacks, just Mexicans.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 25, 2013

Arpaio insists he never once racially profiled any of those illegal wetbacks.

— Justice Putnam (@justiceputnam) May 25, 2013

“Why did you create mosquitoes?” A better question is “Why did you create people?” Answer: to feed the mosquitoes.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 25, 2013

You know you’re tired when you need a coffee to be awake enough to meet someone for coffee.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 25, 2013

Heaven is like arriving at Disneyland. Hell is like still being at Disneyland three weeks later.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 25, 2013

Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 26, 2013

It’s TOO SOON. Too soon after the I-5 bridge collapse to talk about raising taxes to fix bridges.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 26, 2013

If The Lord really hated Gay People or Cannabis he would cease his worldwide production of both.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 26, 2013

You can ground a plane if 2 ppl dress funny & speak a weird language. But 50+ were caught carrying loaded guns onto planes last week.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 26, 2013

I post a weekly diary of historical notes, arts & science items, foreign news (often receiving little notice in the US) and whimsical pieces from the outside world that I often feature in “Cheers & Jeers”. For example …..

By Request SEPARATED at BIRTH from lineatus – film star Richard Gere and musician (and Pink Floyd co-founder) Roger Waters.

   

OK, you’ve been warned – here is this week’s tomfoolery material that I posted.