Motley Moose – Archive

I’m back to writing …

… in my mysterious and sexy way.

Dear Debbie Downers, Chicken Littles, and Concern Trolls:

        Ah! The Golden Age! The gist of it is that our economy and housing markets are so ridiculous that we have the largest proportion of middle class AND employed homeless in our nation’s history. Lose your house while having a job! Single mothers and retirees sleeping in their cars, going back to work just to pay for cell phone service so they can talk to their children.

All of the glorious trappings you’d think would go along with living in the greatest nation on Earth during its “Golden Age”.

Yeah.

(cough, cough, cough)

Right.

It’s no secret that China and the U.S. of A have been in a bit of a pissing contest for global domination since the fall of “Mapofsomecountryonhisbaldhead-land”. Both nations have their pros and cons, and history will show whether America, with its freedom of the spineless press, “non-intrusive” goverment, and erotic “Battlestar Galactica” fan-fiction….

…. will triumph over our competitors to the east, with their cheap labor, epic game shows, and unquestioned dumpling superiority.

We’re in serious shit here.

China owns us.

Hell, they paid for our “war”.

This isn’t about me. Nor is it about you.

It’s about our country. It’s about the times we live in.

I’m not going to beg nor can you get me to pay you off with kindness and serious ass kissing.

     Sorry boyzzz, but I’m not a whore. Attention or other. If I was, I’d be elsewhere having indiscriminate sex on a regular basis, instead of visiting here in my spare time so as to avoid mundane chores like washing dishes, mowing the lawn and trying to raise a family. I will always think fondly of you as the people who doggedly broke the concern troll record in the liberal blogosphere while displaying the crappiest political instincts and analysis this side of Flowbee. At least he doesn’t take himself seriously.

Look at that bowl haircut of his.

No hard feelings. I’m sure you’re proud of yourselves.

It’s not that hard really. If you give a fuck, you pick a candidate and work like hell to help him get elected.

If you say you’re a Democrat well then, the choice is easy.

You go to the voting booth. You pull the lever for Obama/Biden.

This is not hard.

It’s a little thing called…

…voting for the candidate you believe to be best for our country!

Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Or choose the other guy and leave us the fuck alone to while we try to save this place from disaster. Let the “cult of personality” be the deciding factor when choosing a candidate. I don’t give a fuck. But stop pretending to care about our party when you only care about yourself.

    I didn’t make the G.E. rules up! Hell if it was up to me we’d settle it with a combination dance-fight. It’s the only sensible way. We’ll need an enclosed arena and a very short rope. Like Westside Story ( P.R. represent!), only with plastic light sabers and “luchador” masks.

The weapons should be limited to these plastic light sabers. If a candidate kills the other one with one of those, it shows how bad they want it (I really like the plastic light sabers idea).

We can’t have the VP’s slug it out though.

No way.

Palin fucking scares me.

She DID Teach Daniel-San The Crane Kick.

“If we lose that would pretty much destroy the whole ‘2 party’ system right away. The UN would have to send in peacekeepers to intervene, but the Republicans would just mount their blue-helmeted heads right next to their many, many Democrat trophies.”

Yeah, I get it chicken little chicken shit troll.

We suck at winning elections.

Stop whining about it and let’s do something about it.

I leave you with one of spacemanspiff’s epic analogies :

Have you ever been fucked violently in the ear?

I want you to protect me from getting fucked, and all you’re saying is “Balls, balls balls.”

I know we always lose.

I know the polls are all over the place.

All I’m saying is…

lead, follow, or get the fuck out of the way.

UPDATE: Shout out to trustno1 from the comments!

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