Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

What, if anything, would you like to be Supreme Commander of?

Do you have any desire to go into space?

Do you own any original artwork? What kind?

Did you ever give or receive an animal as a gift?

Did you hitchhike?

The Twitter Emitter

#ThatAwkwardMoment when Walton family wealth tops $100B and Walmart starts asking for donations to feed its employees http://t.co/HPDDE5Wjde

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 19, 2013

Liz Cheney campaign announces she and her sister "going on a hunting trip to patch up their differences."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 19, 2013

Kickstarter to fire the Geico advertisement team into space

— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) November 17, 2013

Nice try with the fall colors, trees. If you want me to look at you, you better start displaying Twitter updates.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 17, 2013

Rush Limbaugh, who paid a married gay man millions to sing at his 4th wedding, is warning how gays will destroy marriage.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 17, 2013

Republicans want to "fix" ObamaCare the same way they fixed Iraq.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 15, 2013

Rafael Cruz, Sr: "Black voters are uninformed." Sarah Palin: "Yes, they don't even know the meaning of the word slavery." #GOP #insanity

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 14, 2013

Why can't Obama give answers in 140 characters or less for journalists who think using Twitter is reporting?

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 14, 2013

Being Gay is natural, hating Gay is a lifestyle choice.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 14, 2013

I'm not racist, but it's perfectly reasonable to assume that all White people are exactly like Rob Ford.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) November 14, 2013

Interrogatories

Was your first name used for a hurricane or tropical storm? Were you particularly devastating?

What were your favorite childhood toys?

Do you have a namesake? Anyone named after you?

Where is the weirdest place you ever fell asleep?

The Twitter Emitter

MSNBC figures Alec Baldwin show is a safe bet. If he ends up in jail, they can revert to "Lockup: Alec Baldwin."

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) November 14, 2013

After a gas pipeline exploded in Milford, Rick Perry, per Texas law, sent a thank you note to the company for doing business in the state.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 15, 2013

The media continues to hold Obama to a far higher standard than they do the lying clowns of the GOP #inners

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 15, 2013

Michele Bachmann Frogmarched Before Obamacare Death Panels, Or 'Has To Buy Own Insurance,' Same Thing http://t.co/voc4ZU2e3L

— Wonkette (@Wonkette) November 15, 2013

Think I’m going to wear the same sweater I wore yesterday for Yellen solidarity.

— Lisa McIntire (@LisaMcIntire) November 15, 2013

Rob Ford: "God, I wish the media would forget about me for a day." Make A Wish Foundation: "You got it!"

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) November 15, 2013

In my opinion, constantly referring to things as Obama's Katrina is just taunting God to send us another Katrina.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) November 15, 2013

Our era has truly excelled in the field of mediocrity.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 15, 2013

So the new SONY PS4 online network is down. ALERT ISSA! DRUDGE SIREN!

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) November 15, 2013

America. Where 1 middle class woman in Florida having to pick a new plan is a bigger deal than 5 million poor people being denied insurance.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 15, 2013

"Toronto Mayor 'To Lose Some Powers.'" Not the power to shock and amuse us, I hope.

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) November 15, 2013

He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.

— Yuppy (@TradingYuppy) November 16, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever actually attended any Olympics games?

Have you ever done rock or mountain climbing?

Have you ever done any cave exploring? Do you feel comfortable in underground situations?

What is your favorite library you’ve ever visited?

The Twitter Emitter

When saying no comes easily, it is often because you would rather shut down a good idea than allow anyone else to have one.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 13, 2013

From how everyone reacts to everything, I'm pretty sure we won't have near enough exclamation points when its the real end of the world.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) November 13, 2013

On this day in 1986, Ronald Reagan went on TV and said he did not trade weapons for hostages."But Obama said I could keep my plaaaaan!!"

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) November 14, 2013

Rob Ford is the Lance Armstrong of Canada

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) November 14, 2013

Welsh Wheel of Fortune. "I'd like to buy a vowel." Well, we all would. Dream on, son.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) November 14, 2013

In fairness to Obama, making the Democratic Party break into cold-sweat panic is easier than the TV Guide crossword puzzle.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) November 14, 2013

I can feel the Jesus in this tweet. RT @CatholicLeague: Don't fix it. Let it die.

— Jennifer Hayden (@Scout_Finch) November 14, 2013

"Obamacare hasn't cured cancer yet so we should kill it with fire" – everyone who was against it in the first place

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 14, 2013

If I had half a brain, I'd be overqualified for the White House press corps.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 14, 2013

It's Joseph McCarthy's birthday or, as Fox News calls it, "Founder's Day."

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 14, 2013

Interrogatories

What is your favorite museum? What makes it your favorite?

What are some of the best traveling museum exhibits you’ve seen?

What is your favorite cold cereal? How do you eat it? (Milk, sugar, out of the box?)

What is your favorite kind of pickle? Do you like other pickled veggies? have you ever made your own?

The Twitter Emitter

Dear Flat-Earthers: We'd like to take your picture. Move a little to the right… just a bit more… one more step…

— Barracks O'Bama (@P0TUS) November 14, 2013

I suppose publishers of wingnut home schooling textbooks save a lot of money by limiting US history to the years between 1865 and 1970.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) November 14, 2013

Don't tell @SarahPalinUSA but I think Jesus might be a little bit too liberal for her too.

— DrLearnALot (@DrLearnALot) November 13, 2013

Stop calling them "mass killers." The preferred term is "extreme gun enthusiast."

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) November 13, 2013

I look forward to understanding @SarahPalinUSA's ideas once she grasps the rudimentary elements of the English language.

— Tom Wellborn (@TLW3) November 13, 2013

The commercialization of Christmas is wrong, except when Bill O'Reilly or Sarah Palin are making money off books about the War On Christmas.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 13, 2013

Fun fact: every time Cuccinelli ascended to higher office, he was replaced by a Democrat. #VotersRemorse

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) November 13, 2013

Maybe they'll let the people who lose Medicaid insurance complain on TV or op-ed pages. JOKE! Because who wants to hear from poor people?

— Teresa Kopec (@TeresaKopec) November 13, 2013

Richard Cohen's next column is going to be about what he has learned about raising black kids by watching old Webster episodes

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 13, 2013

The only two safe growth industries left are Medical Cannabis and Tattoo removal.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 13, 2013

Interrogatories

What tunnels are there in your area? Does it bother you driving through them? What is the longest tunnel you’ve gone through?

Have you been to the Vietnam Memorial? How did it affect you? What is your favorite memorial in D.C.?

Did they celebrate Sadie Hawkins Day in school where you are from? Did you participate?

Have you ever had Indian Pudding (I’m thinking of attempting it)? If so, how was it?

The Twitter Emitter

#ThatAwkwardMoment when Virginia GOP switches from trying to prevent people from voting to preventing actual votes being counted #VAAG

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 10, 2013

Sticking with my previous Tuesday plan of "not giving a shit about Richard Cohen." Life's too short to be outraged by that has-been.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) November 12, 2013

If Raising Minimum Wage "Raises Costs", Why Don't Costs Rise When CEOs Give Themselves Huge Bonuses & Raises? #LivingWage #p2 #tcot

— TheNewDeal (@TheNewDeal) November 12, 2013

So the Queen of the Snowbillies has a book about the War on Christmas. She should write what she knows: the War on Rationality. #uniteblue

— techweenie (@techweenie) November 12, 2013

Some people don't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have an internet connection.

— Leeland Artra (@LArtra) November 12, 2013

If Sarah Palin's this shocked by Pope Francis, she'll be catatonic when she finally gets round to reading about Jesus in the New Testament.

— Danielle (@DCPlod) November 12, 2013

Sarah Palin also doesn't like it when the Pope uses Latin which is what they speak in "… those Mexican countries down there, y'know…".

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 12, 2013

Hey Republicans: Want your party to appeal to women? Become a Democrat! #p2 #UniteBlue

— Kennett Area Dems (@KennettDems) November 12, 2013

“You think I wished for a twelve inch pianist!?”

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) November 12, 2013

BREAKING: Donald Trump says his investigators haven't found any proof that the Hawaii Senate passed gay marriage.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 12, 2013

Interrogatories

What do you like on your pizza?

Do you enjoy heights? Does crossing bridges or high overpasses bother you? How about narrow, twisting, mountain roads? Upper floors of tall buildings with big glass windows?

What were your favorite childhood books?

What is your favorite home treatment for colds and flu?

The Twitter Emitter

Sarah Palin: "Well, of course the Tea Party has an alternative plan to Obamacare. It's the Affordable Care Act, but Obama has blocked it."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 11, 2013

Hint to Sarah Palin and everyone else; if you start a sentence "this isn't racist" don't finish it.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) November 12, 2013

Black Friday – when the 1% tells the 99% to go shop and save the economy.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 12, 2013

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by because I was staring down at my phone.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) November 12, 2013

Fox News just apologized for not running the story 60 Minutes apologized for.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 12, 2013

Conservatives outraged that Obama lied about keeping your health insurance are also outraged you keep mentioning George W Bush

— Political Line (@PoliticaILine) November 12, 2013

60 Minutes investigating what Obama knew about Anna Nicole Smith's murder.

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) November 12, 2013

Poverty in the Phillipines no doubt contributed to the death toll but detracts from the dollar amount that would make republicans care

— Karl (@JerryMander) November 12, 2013

If public nudity is so empowering, Miley Cyrus, why have I just been handcuffed by a policeman?

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) November 10, 2013

Interrogatories

Are there any words you mispronounced as a child (such as “basketti” instead of spaghetti) that you recall? Are there any that your family still uses now?

How do you feel about the rapidly changing language (especially with the onset of the internet)? Are you happy with changes, or do you wish all those new words and new meanings for old words would just go away?

What day does your trash get picked up? What agency does it, or is it a private business? Do they recycle?

Is there (or has there been) any actor that you like so much you would go see any film he (or she) is in?

The Twitter Emitter

i can't relax unless i'm tense about something.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 7, 2013

Marco Rubio: "Don't jump to conclusions about Chris Christie's win. I still have a chance –sip– to win the –sip– nomination."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

What's it called again when you can't remember what things are called?

— Jeff Tiedrich (@jefftiedrich) November 7, 2013

Hey wait a minute, Obamacare, don't take away that thrilling feeling of maybe going bankrupt when I get sick.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 8, 2013

Book of Ayn 2:12 @studio_gal: @ladyblue49 Jesus said, "Suffer the poor to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and let them eat cake."

— techweenie (@techweenie) November 9, 2013

Lindsey Graham is now expanding his threat to hold up all nominations until he gets answers on Benghazi. Now he wants the questions too.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 10, 2013

BREAKING: Hawks who secretly plotted for war in the Middle East accuse President Obama of secretly plotting for peace.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 10, 2013

Sad that if you don't bomb it, shut it down, deny it rights, defund it or discriminate against it you can't feel good about yourself.

— James Morrison (@JamesPMorrison) November 10, 2013

Lindsay Graham and John McCain both hailing France for scuttling Iran deal. French Fries back on Senate cafe menu?

— Greg Mitchell (@GregMitch) November 10, 2013

Lindsey Graham: "So the 60 Minutes witness lied about Benghazi? Does that change anything? No, because I still have two primary opponents."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 10, 2013

I got the job! I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I got the job I … (got the job).

Interrogatories

Have you ever actually seen a Ronald Reagan film? Which one(s)? Any good?

Have you ever seen any Schwarzenegger films? Did you enjoy them? Would you go see any new ones he makes?

It’s Abet and Aid Punsters Day! How can you help the punsters in your life?

Do you know the words to the National Anthem? The Pledge of Allegiance? The Preamble? The Petticoat Junction theme?

The Twitter Emitter

Glad to see Rand Paul and Chris Christie back to the serious business of calling each other names. http://t.co/arSbAs9yl9

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 6, 2013

The federal prison population has ballooned 790% since 1980, and yet before 2009 President Obama did nothing to address it!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Darrell Issa to call hearings to determine if Obama closed Blockbuster to hurt seniors who still go there for tapes to watch on their VCR.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

The tragedy is that 15 million people lost their insurance because Obamacare changed the rules, instead of losing it when they got sick.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 7, 2013

The difference between having your insurance cancelled because you're sick vs. because of #ACA is that with Obamacare you get #abetterplan

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 7, 2013

Rand Paul will now be cutting and pasting at http://t.co/jnbUTSK5PW. Presumably he will be plagiarizing old Ben Domenesch columns.

— TBogg (@tbogg) November 7, 2013

There's no use worrying about things you can't control. And the good news is, that's pretty much everything.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) November 7, 2013

President Obama is making the largest attempt to cover the uninsured in American history — and it's about time he apologized for it!

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) November 7, 2013

So odd that God allows Chuck Todd.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) November 7, 2013

I have to stop talking to my friends about mitosis. It’s such a divisive topic.

— Shayera Tangri (@shayera) November 8, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever had an encounter with a bear?

Did you ever babysit? What was your pay? Ever hire a babysitter? What did you pay?

Are you good at untangling knots? How about holiday lights? How are you with the garden hose, do you keep it nice and neat?

The Twitter Emitter

The bottom is usually reached when you are falling faster than you can lower your standards. #topoli

— Jim Coyle (@coyleWERDZ) November 3, 2013

The fact that K-Mart is open on Thanksgiving Day comes as a shock to those of us who didn't realize it was open the other 364.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) November 5, 2013

The real victim here is the dead animal Rand Paul stole his wig from.

— Tina (@trcfwtt) November 5, 2013

Although @ColbertReport is fabulous, he referred to ticks and spiders as "insects" rather than Arachnida. O, the arthropod-anity…

— Bill Nye (@TheScienceGuy) November 5, 2013

Apparently if you're a straight white male in politics, there's nothing that will stop you from thinking you deserve to hold office.

— Sally Kohn (@sallykohn) November 5, 2013

When people grill him about plagiarism, Rand Paul should just quote from the Wikipedia entry for Originality http://t.co/F7dDLI7NRx

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) November 6, 2013

RT @_el_sid_: …has anyone ever seen Rush Limbaugh and Rob Ford together at the same time?!?!?

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Mark Obenshain called to reassure Ken Cuccinelli that "as Attorney General I'll carry on your great work oppressing women and gays."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) November 6, 2013

Well it looks like stop and frisk will be going away from the streets of Bee York, but not the bedrooms of Virginia

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) November 6, 2013

I like when people leave Congress 'for more time with their family.' Cos those guys only get , like, 150 days off per year.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 6, 2013

Interrogatories

What sports do you follow/enjoy?

What sports do you hate?

What’s your favorite recorded sax solo?

Do you get lost easily, or are you really good at getting around strange places?

The Twitter Emitter

I'd like to commend Toronto mayor Rob Ford for keeping drugs out of the hands of young people.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) November 5, 2013

I will now only vote for candidates who've smoked crack. THIS IS THE NEW BAR, PEOPLE.

— Highly scatological (@RaisingOneBrow) November 5, 2013

Majority of Canadians say they would still rather keep Rob Ford than take Ted Cruz back

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) November 5, 2013

Toronto mayor: Yes, I smoked crack, but in my defense, I was drunk at the time.

— Seth Masket (@smotus) November 5, 2013

Early exit polls show McAuliffe leading Cuccinelli by 25% among those with an expectation of engaging in oral sex.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) November 6, 2013

Looks like the only person banning sodomy in Virginia tonight is Mrs. Cuccinelli

— CJ Werleman (@cjwerleman) November 6, 2013

The Cooch has lost! SODOMY FOR EVERYBODY! #VAGOV

— JoeMyGod (@JoeMyGod) November 6, 2013

Terry McAuliffe has won the governorship of Virginia. Ken Cuccinelli plans to ask for a deep, invasive probe of the election results.

— Adam Carl (@AdamWearsPants) November 6, 2013

GOP probably shouldn't feel too bad. Decent odds of "Will McAuliffe's Woes Drag Down Hillary?" headlines all throughout 2016

— Benjy Sarlin (@BenjySarlin) November 6, 2013

McAuliffe won. Im so excited I cant contain mysel-oooh look. A commercial where kittens are wearing sunglasses.

— D'Brickashaw (@DragonflyJonez) November 6, 2013

Here's hoping that the GOP does a deep probing into the reason why Ken Cuccinelli lost. Or maybe they could just ask women & young people

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) November 6, 2013