Motley Moose – Archive

Happy Groundhog Day! I almost wrote that as “ground hog” day, but that would be sausage. Actually, I guess it may yet be ground hog day, since I have some maple pork sausage in the freezer.

So, what are you having for breakfast today? How do you take your coffee? Have I asked that before? At what age did you finally grow up? What is the next thing you are really looking forward to? What’s your favorite dance? (I understand kirbybruno is partial to the Bunny Hop. I have video.) If you read comics as a kid, what was your favorite?

Ring ring ring ring Twitterphone

Not the first or last time I will quote plf:

A conservative is someone who wants to make it harder for people to love each other and easier for them to kill each other.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) February 1, 2013

Democracy isn’t supposed to work by handicapping an agency whose mission you disagree with by refusing to approve anyone to lead it.

— Jason Febery (@JasonFebery) February 1, 2013

If I ever hear you say something is “impactful” you know what’s going to be impactful is this desk lamp on the bridge of your nose.

— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) February 1, 2013

I really am trying to cut the spaces between sentences from two to one. But I’m a trained lawyer. Lawyers are all about the two spaces. #two

— Imani ABL (@AngryBlackLady) February 1, 2013

Sad that Barney Bush died before he received his birthright of an NBC news dog affairs correspondent gig.

— Chris (@chriscesq) February 1, 2013

RIP Barney Bush. They say he died of lymphoma, but we all know it was from depression after Obama won a 2nd term.#BarneyTruther

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) February 1, 2013

Even if the GOP obeyed Jindal and stopped being the stupid party, it would still be the mean greedy ugly old bastard party.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) February 2, 2013

Happy Friday! Don’t forget to tip your server without leaving snide notes!

Questions, I has them: What was your least favorite subject in school? Do you still hate it? Do you have any phobias? What are you allergic to? Are there any public figures that you might as well be allergic to? What present day fashion can you NOT get on board with?

Row, row, row your boat gently down the Twitter stream…

@scalzi “If only I could spread cookie on my cookie!” was the thought that led to an instance of infinite recursion which ended the galaxy.

— William Dass (@WBDass) January 31, 2013

If AR-15 is the weapon of choice for moms with crying babies then is a rocket launcher for lonely people that have cats?

— John Conner (@MotorCityLib) January 31, 2013

I quote @elonjames when I say, Lindsey Graham’s voice sounds like a ‘whites only’ drinking fountain. #p2 #TFY #ABLC

— Imani ABL (@AngryBlackLady) January 31, 2013

More Americans being shot full of “Freedom Holes” yet again today. Thanks #NRA!

— Lalo Alcaraz (@laloalcaraz) January 31, 2013

If we don’t have gun laws because criminals will get weapons anyway, why do we have drug laws? #GunsKillPeople

— Alex Rubin (@MisterRubin) February 1, 2013

America. Where they’re more likely to come for your birth control than your guns.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 1, 2013

Chicken stove top stuffing and a liter of scotch covers all four food groups, right? If not, I can smoke a cigar for extra nutrition.

— John Cole (@Johngcole) February 1, 2013

I do appreciate that John McCain is engaged in a nearly never-ending campaign to remind us why we’re glad he is isn’t president.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) February 1, 2013

Unfortunately we learned more about warmongers John McCain, Jim Inhofe & Ted Cruz in today’s hearings than we did about Chuck Hagel

— Howie Klein (@downwithtyranny) February 1, 2013

Thursday already! Good morning, everyone! It’s National Popcorn Day, where is the Republican entertainment?

Today’s questions are: What is your favorite National Park? You don’t need to have been there, just want to go there, or simply love the idea of it. What is your favorite State Park? What is your favorite City park? Stealing a bit from Inside the Actor’s Studio, what is your least favorite word? What is your favorite word? What do you think is the most misused word today? What is your Pet Punctuation Peeve?

Selections From the Twitter Menu

I blame Manti Te’o less for thinking Lennay Kekua was real than the Yankees for thinking A-Rod was.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 30, 2013

Thanks to Wayne LaPierre, I now understand how laws against bad guys with cocaine ruined it for us good guys with cocaine.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 31, 2013

Some people trust teens with a gun, but not with contraception. They call themselves “pro-life”

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) January 31, 2013

Marlowe got excited and chased the cat. Instead of “NO CAT” which is the command she knows, “I shouted DON’T BE A DICK!” It didn’t work.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) January 31, 2013

Gabby Giffords has more brains than all those GOP asshats who were never shot in the head.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) January 31, 2013

I know I’m going to hate myself for saying this, but I hope Cheney lives long enough to go duck hunting with Scalia again.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 31, 2013

The Boy Scouts may leave decision to be homophobic up to local troop, just as the Catholic Church may leave pedophilia up to local parish.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 31, 2013

Happy Wednesday, friends! January is almost over. As I asked a friend yesterday, do you have your Christmas shopping done yet? It will be here before you know it!

I have questions: What is the most difficult dish you ever made (successfully)? As kids many of us were stubborn and very closed minded about things. Food is one. I hated everything except Macaroni and cheese, but once I was out on my own, I learned to love all kinds of food. What foods did you hate as a child that you have grown to love today? How about music? Teenagers can be awfully contemptuous about what Mom and Dad like to listen to. What music did you not like as a kid that you have grown to appreciate, if not love, today? What is your thermostat set at?  What was your favorite childhood toy? Do you still have it?

From my Tweetfile to yours:

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs.I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

— A Guy Named Kelly (@kellysdf) January 19, 2013

What wld America b w/out immigrants? I’d ask the natives but we killed most of them.

— Tina (@trcfwtt) January 29, 2013

Some folks don’t give a fuck where they drop an f-bomb.

— socratic (@socratic) January 30, 2013

“Buzzfeed: Ten numbers before the number eleven that you HAVE to know”

— Steve Murray (@NPsteve) January 30, 2013

We talk abt border sec like it’s been exercising since 07 and now it’s buff. Not so. It’s been on steroids & now it’s ragey and musclebound.

— Dara (@DLind) January 30, 2013

LeBron is too lovable to hate anymore and Palin is too irrelevant to annoy. I’m one great Nickelback song away from being totally lost.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 30, 2013

Paul Ryan is 43 today, but says “I’d be only 38 if it weren’t for Obama’s policies that are ruining this country.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 30, 2013

REMINDER: The only people coming for your guns are your kids. Lock them up.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 30, 2013

Happy Tuesday, Troopers!  Just another day in the neighborhood, with Alabama congresscritters proposing bills that would basically make government illegal, NRA jerks heckling the father of one of the Newtown victims, the Boy Scouts maybe allowing gays, immigration reform becoming a bit more possible… Oh, and I say Lincoln is better than Silver Linings Playbook, Les Miz, or Argo (of all the whatchamacallit nominees I’ve seen so far).

My nosiness remains boundless: What is your favorite music to clean house to? Nuts and chews or soft centers (candy, you fool)? Is cooked fruit OK? Are sweet ingredients (like fruit) OK in savory dishes? When you were little did you prefer to play indoors or outdoors? How about now?

Excerpts from the Twitter Stream of (un)Consciousness:

They must spray the elixir of stupid on the #MorningJoe set.

— TheRiverWanders (@TheRiverWanders) January 28, 2013

I feel a lot better now that I know Newtown shooter only used a “modern sporting rifle”

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) January 28, 2013

I’m only reading your shorter tweets.

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) January 28, 2013

Valentine’s Day Pro Tip: Make sure your girlfriend exists before getting a gift.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 29, 2013

This still hasn’t been resolved as of my bedtime: What does Rep. Jack Kimble (Imaginary R, CA) want with Daily KOS?:

Drat, I don’t see any Daily KOS people online.They’re probably protesting against themselves or something.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) January 29, 2013

Haven’t the Daily KOS people finished dinner yet?How long does it take to eat ramen noodles?

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) January 29, 2013

Republicans think it’s unconstitutional for someone to run against them.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) January 29, 2013

Just to settle it once and for all: Which came first the Chicken or the Egg? The Egg — laid by a bird that was not a Chicken

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) January 29, 2013

GOP: “We just need a better way to communicate our plans to kill Medicare, turn the clock back for gays and women, and destroy the planet”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 29, 2013

A burning local Los Angeles issue that I am completely on board with:

I would support this platform RT @ericspiegelman“Eric Garcetti, how do we get KROQ to stop playing Sublime?”#betterLAdebatequestions

— Sean Bonner (@seanbonner) January 29, 2013

Monday, Monday… much more like the Mamas and Papas than the Bangles. No matter how much coffee I pound down, I cannot be manic on Mondays. Not that my Monday experience matches this one…

Now, tell me… What is your favorite day of the week? Do you have it embroidered on your underwear? What is your favorite song to dance to, the one you can’t sit still when you hear it? What is the first record or CD you bought with your own money for yourself? What is the last music you bought?

Now let us partake of the tawdriness that is Twitter:

Paul Ryan: “The sequester will happen if Democrats keep refusing our offer to shred the social safety net while the Kochs’ laugh maniacally”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 27, 2013

When I see 9 yr olds in Somalia with machine guns and anti aircraft missiles, I ask myself: are our children in America being left behind?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 27, 2013

@teresakopecMamet personifies the type: “I used to consider myself aDemocrat, but thanks to 9/11, I’m outraged by Chappaquiddick.”

— Riffle (@keeFS) January 27, 2013

Paul Ryan: “The sequester will happen, and Democrats will be to blame because the GOP is too crazy to be held responsible for its actions.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 27, 2013

Why won’t #60Minutes ask Obama REAL questions like “Why did you order your friends in Al Qaeda to kill our ambassador in Benghazi?”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 28, 2013

“Mr. President, Secretary Clinton…whose memes are more viral?”

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) January 28, 2013

The French sent us the Statue of Liberty, Fois Gras, Champagne and Bleu Cheese.We sent them Lance Armstrong.Was that a deal or what?

— RUTH BUZZI (@Ruth_A_Buzzi) January 28, 2013

Think of how much more miserable Jean Valjean would have been if he’d stolen a pack of rice cakes.

— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) January 28, 2013

In 2008 Lance Armstrong was a national hero; now he’s just a cheater. It’s pretty obviously Obama’s fault.#60Minutes

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) January 28, 2013

You people are not only wicked, you’re derivative. At least when Adam and Eve sinned it was original.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) January 28, 2013

Now, sit down and pay attention to your history lesson!

Good morning, Effers! I trust you have a pleasant Sunday planned.

Today is National Chocolate cake day, so if you please, describe your favorite chocolate cake. What is your favorite breakup song? What is the best vacation you ever had in your life? The worst? Should cornbread be sweet?

Now let us muddy our feet in the Twitter Stream. Forgive Bloombito, he’s making fun of Bloomberg’s mangled Spanish, not the language itself:

Scott Walker: “We need to find a way to communicate to gays, women and minorities without making it so obvious we don’t like them”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 26, 2013

Interesting that GOP, after years of wailing bout tyranny, is pushing rules that’ll let it win the White House while losing the popular vote

— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) January 26, 2013

Give a Republican a fish and he’ll think he learned how to fish. Teach him to fish and he’ll call you socialist.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 26, 2013

Yo que saw un werewolfo drinko el piña colada at el Tradero Vicos. Y el hairo was esta perfecto.

— Miguel Bloombito (@ElBloombito) January 27, 2013

Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a Full Moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) January 27, 2013

we need a deadspin for politics.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) January 27, 2013

If the NRA were Marlboro, they’d say the best way for smokers to reduce the risk of cancer is to stop dressing up as cowboys

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 27, 2013

Now for some Sunday School:

Salutary Saturday, everyone. I am tempted to sleep in. May I, please?

But first I have questions.  If money was no object, where would you retire to? What’s the best side dish found in the deli? What is your favorite commercial (of all time)? What is your least favorite/stupidest/most annoying commercial of all time? What is the best love song?

Today’s Twitter Stream:

If women can marry Newt Gingrich, they should be able to serve in combat.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 25, 2013

to call the filibuster “reforms” non-substantive would be an insult to empty gestures everywhere buzzfeed.com/johnstanton/fi…

— john r stanton (@dcbigjohn) January 25, 2013

It is more important to get down to the bottom of Beyonce-gate than it is to shine the light on GOP suppressing the vote. #msm

— The Toast (@TheToast2013) January 25, 2013

It’s funny how back in the 80s nobody realized how the movies all looked so 80s.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 25, 2013

Sight of hearse rocketing past me in HOV lane makes me ponder definition of “passenger.” @uffishl

— Thérèse Nielsen (@nyreader) January 25, 2013

The problem with Reaganomics is you eventually run out of poor people’s money to give to the extreme rich…

— Phlip (@Pen_Bird) January 26, 2013

Now let’s have some history:

F-ing Friday, finally!  Fancy that!

There is always talk about comfort food, that food we grew up on that takes us back to a time when we felt happy and secure and loved. I hope it does not make you uncomfortable for me to ask these. Of course I will start with the food. What is your absolute favorite comfort food? What song or album takes you back to those times when you hear it, that it could be called Comfort Music? What book is your Comfort Book? This one is not necessarily relating to the past: What would your perfect Comfort Room be? A space that would suit you entirely, that you could share or not share as you please?

Was that too serious? One more: Places that have great burgers but no fries. Deal breaker or not?

Now let us go wading in the Twitter Stream:

Just arrived in Salt Lake City. I’m here to save the Olympics

— jeremy scahill (@jeremyscahill) January 16, 2013

Sec Panetta watches Sec Clinton kick their asses in Benghazi hearing, removes ban on women in combat roles

— Austan Goolsbee (@Austan_Goolsbee) January 23, 2013

Amazing but true: on fox just now, guest screams about Obama 2nd term “starting w/ a lie.” OReilly agrees. Topic: Beyonce lip-synch.

— Michael Hiltzik (@latimeshiltzik) January 24, 2013

I believe Ayn Rand’s first love poem went: Roses are red/ violets are blue/ finish this poem yourself / you dependent parasite

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) January 24, 2013

Oh, NOW war is about the chance to get your limbs blown off.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) January 24, 2013

How did asking white people to pass background checks to buy a gun become more offensive than asking minorities to provide photo ID to vote?

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) January 24, 2013

Pentagon finally lifting the women-in-combat ban in 2013 is like your parents finally giving you the talk abt sex when you’re 45.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2013

If you publicly call your leader a Marxist dictator and nobody shoots you in the head, he just MIGHT not be a Marxist dictator. #tcot

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) January 24, 2013

For one thing, many girls throw off the wrong foot.How can they throw a grenade?

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) January 24, 2013

Pretty sure women will do fine in combat seeing as how Eowyn killed The Nazgul with a sword in his face after decapitating his mount. #facts

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) January 24, 2013

Remember: Hitler did everything he did because he wanted people in the future to use his name as an off-hand insult to their political foes.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) January 24, 2013

“Reince Priebus” sounds like one of those Star Wars bounty hunters that had zero lines but still got an action figure.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 24, 2013

Harry Reid is so good at disappointing.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) January 25, 2013

SO: The GOP thinks they have a better chance of stealing the presidency in broad daylight than winning the electoral college.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 25, 2013

Now open your history books to page 3,458. There will be a test afterward.

Have a Thrilling Thursday, my Thermonuclear F-Bombers!

If there were a talking filibuster and you were a Senator filibustering something, what would YOU use (book, etc.) as your filibuster talk? What is the most beautiful rural place you have ever seen? What is the most beautiful urban place you have ever seen? Risotto or Paella? What is your favorite one hit by a one hit wonder?What makes your most annoying neighbor so annoying?

My Twitter Stream was muddied a bit, mostly by the Hillary Hearings.

Judging by twitter, the drink lines at Dem-sponsored inaugural events are reminiscent of Florida polling places. COINCIDENCE?!

— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) January 23, 2013

“With all due respect” is the diplomatic version of “Bless your heart”#Benghazi #Hilary2016

— SpreadTheWord (@word_34) January 23, 2013

In 2 min, McCain has done a more thorough questioning of Hillary than his entire vetting process of Palin.

— Jennifer Hayden (@Scout_Finch) January 23, 2013

meet the press will have mccain on to review mccain’s performance about mccain.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) January 23, 2013

Problem with hearings like this: John McCain is interested in what John McCain has to say, not what Hillary Clinton has to say.

— Alex Koppelman (@AlexKoppelman) January 23, 2013

Sen Rand Paul says Hillary willfully negligent. Know who else is willfully negligent? Whoever cuts his hair.

— Jennifer Hayden (@Scout_Finch) January 23, 2013

EXPLAINER: Rand Paul just leaves “according to World Net Daily” off of his accusations to avoid repetition.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) January 23, 2013

Hillary Clinton has approximately the IQ of all GOP senators combined on the senate foreign relations committee.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) January 23, 2013

I saw a blonde woman thrash a bunch of guys on TV this morning & just realized it was Hilary Clinton & not Kill Bill pt 1.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) January 23, 2013

Don’t mix metaphors with prescription drugs.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) January 24, 2013

Now let’s talk History!