Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

If accidental radiation exposure turned you into a giant monster, where would you rampage and what sort of havoc would you wreak?

If you could pick any song other than “The Star Spangled Banner” to be the national anthem, what would you pick?

If you could take any song as your own anthem, what would it be?

The Twitter Emitter

NO ONE is going after your gun rights, @gregcampnc. In related news, driver’s licenses do NOT prove the govt wants to take away your car.

— Mary W. Matthews (@MWM4444) April 17, 2013

This country won’t be happy until a gun is elected President.

— Aaron Blitzstein (@BlitznBeans) April 17, 2013

You’ll have to pry my misfired gun from my cold dead half-hand

— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) April 17, 2013

America: where you can buy a gun no questions asked, but you need to show ID to buy allergy meds

— Kari(@gokari) April 17, 2013

Republicans are very angry at the president for showing empathy for dead kids. They don’t get it.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 17, 2013

It all makes far more sense when you realize the NRA is a front for the Elder Gods, who demand the blood sacrifice of innocents.

— John Scalzi (@scalzi) April 17, 2013

It clearly says “well regulated,” you Constitution-worshipping, no reading comprehension-having, militia fetishizing fuckwits.

— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) April 17, 2013

We blame Dems for GOP intransigence as if the party of personal responsibility must never be held personally responsible for their own party

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) April 17, 2013

If you watch @thedailyshow tonight and see me mention how stupid some people on Twitter are, remember I do not mean you. You’re brilliant.

— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) April 17, 2013

Guns do more than kill things.Elvis used his as an early form of remote control.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) April 17, 2013

We are seriously fucked up as a society when owning a gun is a more basic right than good healthcare and good education.

— Sam L. (@BigSamSFO28Left) April 17, 2013

Interrogatories

Who is/was your favorite newspaper columnist?

Do you wear pajamas? If so, what pattern adorns them?

What is your most and least favorite Jelly Bean flavor?

What is the first movie you saw in a theater? How old were you?

The Twitter Emitter

Well at least criminals and mentally unstable people will be spared the indignity of a background check before their next killing spree.

— Mike (@85mf) April 17, 2013

RT @arthurdelaneyhp: The only thing that stops a majority of votes is a minority of votes

— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) April 17, 2013

We need background checks for Senators.

— Dave Pell (@davepell) April 17, 2013

I repeat: If background checks at gun shows are a civil liberties offense, what does that make background checks at licensed gun dealers?

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) April 17, 2013

We should demand more from our media and our elected officials.Today was embarrassing for a lot of people in both professions.

— Bill Press (@bpshow) April 17, 2013

The US Senate didn’t uphold the Constitution today. They gave killers the OK to kill using the weapons they prefer using to do their killing

— Jonathan Jewel (@JonathanJewel) April 17, 2013

America needs to be pried loose from the NRA’s cold, dead hands.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 17, 2013

Between the Boston bombing and the NRA helping to shoot down the gun bill, it’s been a pretty good week for terrorists

— TBogg (@tbogg) April 17, 2013

You wouldn’t trust a guy named Wolf to give you a lift in his car. Why would you trust one to deliver the news?

— CC:Indecision (@indecision) April 17, 2013

Hey Hey @nra, how many kids did you kill today? #p2

— Uncle Sam (@Socialism4USA) April 17, 2013

I have a dream that one day @cnn will report that a light complexioned man has been arrested for sending poison in the mail.

— SharkFu (@SharkFu) April 18, 2013

“White privilege is knowing that even if the bomber is white,noone will call for whites to be profiled as terrorists” timwise.org/2013/04/terror…

— alexis goldstein (@alexisgoldstein) April 18, 2013

Sad that one of the first things I thought of upon seeing photos of bomb victims was “Good god, their medical bills.” onefundboston.org

— Ashley Wood (@awoodash) April 18, 2013

Dear Washington DC: The Beloved 2nd Amendment says “WELL REGULATED” – please start the REGULATED part now. Thank You

— Pirate Wench (@PirateWench) April 18, 2013

Interrogatories

Please (pretty please, with whipped cream on top) write us a Haiku for National Haiku Day?

For National Cheeseball Day, what kind of cheese is in your cheeseball?

What was the destination of your first plane trip?

Do you remember what airline?

The Twitter Emitter

Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

— Alan Garner (@WolfpackAlan) April 15, 2013

Try & remember these feelings of anger & pain when you hear about explosions in other parts of the world. Far too common in too many places.

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) April 15, 2013

To the stranger who took me into her home, gave me soup and tea tostop my shaking and a phone to call home, thank you. #BostonMarathon2013

— Judith U (@Autismville) April 15, 2013

To the Westboro Baptist Church goons picketing the Boston funerals: don’t sweat the guys with bats walking toward you. Probably just Red Sox

— The Blue Ape (@TheBlueApe) April 16, 2013

RT @wyshynski: Absurdity of media culture never more apparent than in videos that feature limb-ripping explosions but bleeped obscenities.

— Bomani Jones (@bomani_jones) April 16, 2013

MT @farleftflank: I would favor a law that would force Pat Robertson to shut up for three days after any tragedy.Call it a ‘waiting period’.

— Anne Rein (@annerein) April 16, 2013

Is this lousy burrito a false flag operation to take away my liberty?

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) April 16, 2013

Paul Ryan: “I don’t want to get wonky on you. But my budget contains a complex formulation of bullshit and garbage” thinkprogress.org/economy/2013/0…

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 16, 2013

I honestly just didn’t believe GOP Senators would turn their back on 90% of Americans. I was naive.

— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) April 16, 2013

Someone should ask Nikki Haley if she has ever caught Mark Sanford at the governor’s mansion.

— Matthew Reichbach (@fbihop) April 17, 2013

If Sanford loses, apparently he’ll just show up at the House anyway.

— Ryan Teague Beckwith (@ryanbeckwith) April 17, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you ever star in a school play?

Have you ever joined a fan club, and if so, whose?

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

It’s National Stress Awareness Day. What is your biggest stressor these days?

Mushrooms – Sauteed, raw, or not at all?

The Twitter Emitter

The slippery slope fallacy seems like fun.Here goes: If we prevent gay people getting married, soon we’ll be preventing straight people.

— Ian Rennie (@theangelremiel) April 14, 2013

Being pro-choice doesn’t mean that you’d have an abortion. It just means you think the choice is yours, not the government’s. #TrustWomen

— Stronger Together (@UniteBlue) April 15, 2013

Cutting Social Security is like me not feeding my 3-yr old so I can buy another pair of expensive black shoes. bit.ly/17qZhLO

— Lipstick Liberal (@LipstickLibShow) April 15, 2013

If buying a gun was as difficult as now getting the morning after pill is, we’d be safe.

— Elayne Boosler (@ElayneBoosler) April 15, 2013

What if we raised our children to have values& empathy-not b/c of fear of God or a prize of heavenbut just b/c it was right?

— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) April 15, 2013

I visited the Anne Frank house over the weekend, and wrote in the guestbook: “Disappointed that Justin Bieber isn’t still here.”

— Harry Shearer (@theharryshearer) April 15, 2013

Somebody give that man a hand #GameOfThrones

— slackadjuster (@slackadjuster) April 15, 2013

It’s a lot of pressure being the only person in your entire country who has freedom of speech.

— KimJongNumberUn (@KimJongNumberUn) April 12, 2013

Twitter does its best work in the first five minutes after a disaster, and its worst in the twelve hours after that.

— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) April 15, 2013

I haven’t seen right wing gun and terror nuts this happy since Huckabee released his free squirrel pie recipe.

— Jeff Gauvin (@JeffersonObama) April 16, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s Tax Day!

Did you get your taxes done in time? Do you do your own or have someone do them for you?

When you are sick with the flu, do you valiantly carry on or huddle at home in abject misery?

Do you have a green thumb?

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

The Twitter Emitter

Praying to alter your current state is acknowledgment that you think your omnescient perfect god has made a mistake.

— Edgar Allan Poe (@Edgar_Allan_Poe) April 8, 2013

What’s next in America — A movement to denounce the theory of gravity because it makes people heavy?

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 11, 2013

Freewill is just an illusion. I had no control over those cookies that went into my mouth.

— pastordan (@pastordan) April 12, 2013

Imagine what these gun people would call women if we talked about our vibrator collections the way they wax on about their guns.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) April 12, 2013

If you want big news companies to fall over themselves in rush to address your complaint, be a conservative.

— Jamison Foser (@jamisonfoser) April 12, 2013

13 oil spills in 30 days highlight need to build a massive new pipeline and hope for the best, say Republicans desmogblog.com/2013/04/11/inf…

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 12, 2013

Rubio: Criminals won’t follow laws so let’s make it easier for them to get guns and harder for law-abiding workers to become citizens.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 14, 2013

Shorter GOP: Criminals won’t follow laws but let’s just ban gay marriage and mandate transvaginal ultrasounds for the fun of it.

— Jason Febery (@JasonFebery) April 14, 2013

“To be fair, I haven’t read (the bill) in its totality, but I can tell you this,” I haven’t read the Constitution and I got elected. – Rubio

— James Morrison (@JamesPMorrison) April 14, 2013

Typos are the scourge of my existanxuovuv ce

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) April 14, 2013

The creator of Foursquare has just become mayor of His Parents’ Basement!

— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) April 14, 2013

New gun laws will prove ineffective, according to Republicans who say new voter ID laws will solve all our problems

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 14, 2013

Interrogatories

How long could you go without talking?

Have you ever sleepwalked?

What is your preferred writing utensil and are you picky about it?

What do you have on your refrigerator door?

Is the glass half full or half empty?

The Twitter Emitter

History suggests that the best strategy for reducing the deficit is voting Republicans out of office. @lawrence

— Tegan Mathis (@TeganMathis) April 11, 2013

If we took all the guns out of video games, Oregon Trail would just be about some poor family dying of dysentery while their oxen drown.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) April 11, 2013

Paul Ryan: We’ve already agreed to compromises. For instance, sometimes we call him “President” Obama. bit.ly/16NWGdR

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 11, 2013

My meltdown will have cheese.

— Manic Zombie Laughs (@Zombieionism) April 11, 2013

I’m paranoid AND needy: I think people are talking about me, but not as much as I’d like.

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) April 11, 2013

Remember when Repubs didn’t care what was on Lewinsky tape cuz they instead focused on criticizing Linda Tripp? Me neither

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) April 11, 2013

I’m not sure which one is more impressive:Tina Feys’ impersonation of Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh’s impersonation of a human being.

— Luke Adams (@luketadams) April 11, 2013

Why shouldn’t felons have guns? How else are they going to make a living?

— Herman Cain’s Hat (@HermanCainsHat) April 11, 2013

Republicans not caring about the country gives them a political advantage.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 11, 2013

Celery and iceberg lettuce are proof God had a lazy day.

— The Kitchenista (@MissAngelaDavis) April 11, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you think that nature or nurture has a greater part in how we turn out?

Do you consider yourself to be mainstream?

Are there any rituals you like to perform for any reason (perhaps just daily activities that have become almost a ritual for you)?

Do you like to participate in scary activities like skydiving, hang gliding and bungee jumping or do you prefer to watch from a place of safety?

The Twitter Emitter

im forming a commission to study washington commissions.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 10, 2013

Who’s with me?One Million Strong for 2 Spaces after a Period!

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) April 10, 2013

Mitch McConnell: “I am outraged that we were secretly recorded. Bugging is only proper when done to trap criminals or civil rights leaders.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 10, 2013

It takes strong women to beat the drums for the abolishment of the rape culture…but it’s going to take men to stop it.

— Dave Ryan (@maddogg2463) April 10, 2013

REMINDER: The richest 400 Americans own more Republicans the bottom 150 million Americans combined. fb.me/2kdYdpWda

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 10, 2013

Surprisingly Rand Paul’s speech about how “blacks would be Republicans if they weren’t so ignorant” didn’t go over well with black students.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 11, 2013

Why would you be against background checks unless you think you’d fail one? #p2 #tcot

— Ignatz (@ignatzz) April 11, 2013

“Lord, give me strength!” No. Go work out, lazy ass.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 11, 2013

Rand Paul is the result of feeding chia pets radioactive isotopes. #p2 @maddow

— Joseph J. Santorsa (@Marnus3) April 11, 2013

This rag smells like chlorof…

— Bill Wendel (@BillWendel) April 11, 2013

Anthony Wiener: “I’m considering running for Mayor. Otherwise it’s back to Twitter, and no one wants that.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 11, 2013

iraq will be a cakewalk. the clinton budget will destroy america. social security is doooomed. “things a conservative says, alex”

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 11, 2013

gov haley barbour has left american crossroads to dedicate himself full time to capturing those duke boys

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 11, 2013

Interrogatories

If you had to create something and had an unlimited budget to do so, what would you create? If the world were in black and white and you were allowed to have just one thing in color, what would it be? Would you describe yourself as confident, insecure, or somewhere in between? What is the last song you heard on iPod, radio or CD?

The Twitter Emitter

The GOP economic plan: Decrease funds for social programs and increase gun sales. This way you have your choice of how to die. #p2

— Joseph J. Santorsa (@Marnus3) April 9, 2013

Would you hire someone who hates children to babysit your kids? Why would you elect a party who says they hate gov’t to run gov’t? #GOP

— DrLearnALot (@DrLearnALot) April 9, 2013

It’s OK, everybody. Mother Jones reporters were dressed as pimps at the time.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 9, 2013

NRA trying to encourage more black people to buy guns: “Coincidentally, it’s a great way to encourage our white members to buy more guns”

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 9, 2013

They say that Pot makes you violent. And lazy.I say making violent people lazy is the only crime prevention that works.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 9, 2013

In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a very bad idea.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) April 9, 2013

Marco Rubio: “I’m outraged that Obama didn’t check with me before allowing Beyonce and Jay-Z to go to Cuba.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 10, 2013

Constitutionalist – n. a Republican who uses something that isn’t the constitution to stop the Senate from debating extremely popular bills

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 10, 2013

I was going to wear a cloak of invisibility, but I just couldn’t see myself in it.

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) April 10, 2013

If evolution was real, how could Mitt Romney have received 48% of the popular vote?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) April 10, 2013

Interrogatories

Usually kids are taught by grown-ups, but every now and then they teach us little lessons. What have you learned from kids? Are you a good traveling companion? What was your first job? Peanut butter – creamy or crunchy?

The Twitter Emitter

“I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy”. – Martin Luther King

— Seema Chandwani ™ (@SeemaChandwani) April 8, 2013

I rejoice when a politician I dislike is no longer in power, not when they die.

— Dub Pool (@dubpool) April 8, 2013

I just know Miss Thatcher is in Heaven and she’s cut angel salaries by 40%

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) April 8, 2013

Annette Funicello made me choose the heterosexual lifestyle

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) April 8, 2013

I think Wikileaks has gone too far by releasing this Brad Paisely/LL Cool J joint.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 8, 2013

The 4-year-olds are the ones actually coming for your guns.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 8, 2013

Hey U.S.: if every now and then I heard a “God PLEASE bless America”, maybe you’d have better luck.#manners

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 8, 2013

President politicizing children’s shooting deaths by trying to do something about it.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 9, 2013

Majority of Americans would support a limit on the number of TV shows Wayne LaPierre is allowed to appear on #sensiblereform

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 9, 2013

RIP Margaret Thatcher & LL Cool J’s rap career.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) April 9, 2013

I’ll say this for Margaret Thatcher: she never hawked reverse mortgages or appeared a Lifelock infomercial.

— Culture of Truth (@Bobblespeak) April 9, 2013

With both Reagan and Margaret Thatcher in Heaven now, maybe the divine nature of conservatism will trickle-down to wretched souls on Earth.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 9, 2013

Interrogatories

As the nights warm up (well, for some of us), and windows are cracked open, all the outside sounds of night and morning come in (doing battle with the indoor sounds). What night and early morning sounds, natural or otherwise, keep you awake and cause annoyance? What sounds please you and help you to relax and fall asleep? If you could take your family on a time travel vacation, where and when  would you go (remember, it should be fun for the whole family)?  What kind of empanada would you like to have for National Empanada day?

The Twitter Emitter

Louie Gohmert’s fear that gay marriage will lead to bestiality may explain why he also fears evolution, which means ALL sex is bestiality.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 6, 2013

The Tea Party: God’s judgment on us for teaching our parents how to use the Internet.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) April 6, 2013

Sarah Palin keynoted the Terri Schiavo gala last night to prove that a persistent vegetative state is no hindrance to a life of grifting.

— TBogg (@tbogg) April 6, 2013

So local sheriffs talk tough about fighting the federal government over guns, but can’t kowtow low enough to the banks?

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 7, 2013

Some very rich people used their money to violate the law, and Republicans are demanding an investigation. Oh, they’re black.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 7, 2013

Majority of Americans now support legalization of pot in the hope it might mellow out all those people who own 3,000 guns

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 8, 2013

Mad Men and Game of Thrones. Two societies unprepared for what’s coming for them from beyond their walls.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 8, 2013

The criminal’s idea of freedom means no consequences for greed and cruelty. Same as the right wing.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 8, 2013

#YouMightBeARepublican if you ship jobs overseas to slave factories & then condemn Americans who are on on welfare b/c they can’t find jobs.

— RC deWinter (@RCdeWinter) April 8, 2013

Why are conservatives so worried about North Korea’s nuclear weapons? After all, nukes don’t kill people. People kill people.

— Jason Febery (@JasonFebery) April 8, 2013