Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

When you go shopping, do you have brand loyalties, or do you buy whatever is cheapest?

What language do you wish you spoke?

It’s National Pizza Party Day, what do you want on your pizza?

Do you have pack-rat tendencies at all?

What is the last thing that made you really laugh?

The Twitter Emitter

Being popular on Twitter is like dating Lennay Kekua. It’s nice to go along with the fantasy, but it’s probably a dude talking in falsetto.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) May 16, 2013

I have to agree with Wolf Blitzer. Hundres of people dying every day is way less important than a discussion about talking points.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) May 16, 2013

Has anyone checked Benghazi’s birth certificate yet? Pretty sure he’s not even American.

— Nita Chaudhary (@nitalovesmiles) May 16, 2013

Sometimes that silver stuff lining the inside of your cloud is asbestos.#DailyAffirmationTweet

— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) May 16, 2013

It appears that Tea Party outrage and exploding foamy pigshit are two separate subjects despite the remarkable similarities.

— TBogg (@tbogg) May 16, 2013

“And no, I’m not racist.” — A racist.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 16, 2013

Why do very smart people spend so much time talking about what’s been said that day by very dumb people? Not very smart, if you ask me.

— Jordan Birnbaum (@JordanBirnbaum) May 16, 2013

Being gay ruins marriage but cheating on your 2nd wife with your 3rd mistress can be forgiven #GOPBible

— jimmy streich (@streicher187) May 16, 2013

Dear GOP – you elected Mark Sanford and David Vitter so you lost moral grounds on Anthony Weiner #tcot #p2

— jimmy streich (@streicher187) May 16, 2013

Tea Party wants to game the political process without contributing any taxes. The moocher class par excellence.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 17, 2013

Someone just asked Me, “Can I have a Ferrari and a huge cock?” No one’s got both, My friend.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 17, 2013

Republicans know that a lie, once it’s released to the ‘wild’ can never be recalled. It’s how they operate.

—UltraVerified (@UltraVerified) May 17, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s National Sea Monkey Day. Did you ever order those sea monkeys from the back page ads in comic books?

How do you like your scallops?

What is the last biography you read?

Whose life story would make a good film (that hasn’t been made yet)?

The Twitter Emitter

An oldie but a goodie:

If only closed minds came with closed mouths.

— Donna T(@sweetg35) January 12, 2013

Thanks to guns, toddlers kill more Americans than terrorists do.

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) May 14, 2013

I don’t know who these “stars” are on Dancing with the Stars. They should call it “Dancing with People.”

— Jamilah Lemieux(@JamilahLemieux) May 14, 2013

I support legalization of all drugs but only because I want to see the commercials.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 14, 2013

Next on Hardball. Civilization is a burning pile of garbage: should we bring marshmallows or weenies?

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 14, 2013

Eric Holder should be more careful– accusing Louie Gohmert of not knowing things is a slippery slope that inevitably leads to bestiality.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 16, 2013

Once you realize nothing makes any sense, everything makes perfect sense.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 15, 2013

Never lend credibility to a guy who brought a bushel of penises to a vagina hearing. #IssaTips

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) May 16, 2013

Reminder: We live in a country where a guy who handed out Tobacco Lobby checks on the House floor is calling for people to go to jail.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) May 16, 2013

Interrogatories

Who was the worst teacher you ever had, and why?

What’s the worst thing (so far) about aging?

What would be your “desert island” music? (If you were stuck on a desert island with only one…)

What is the best use for chocolate chips?

What is the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken?

The Twitter Emitter

I could kill you all Myself, but it’s morefun watching you do it.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 12, 2013

Area rabble rousers cry foul over scrutiny of demand for tax-exempt status, then complain about others’ “entitlements.”

— Duke (@DukeStJournal) May 13, 2013

Thank God, another something to take the focus off of Congress doing nothing on jobs.

— Jason Karsh (@jkarsh) May 13, 2013

Republicans act like every single employee of the fed govt that screws up is tied directly to PBO. The boy who cried wolf syndrome! #p2

— ExtremeLiberal (Jim) (@ExtremeLiberal) May 13, 2013

I can’t wait for unpunished #PhoneHacker @rupertmurdoch to demand impeachment for DOJ phone hacking.

— Bob Fertik (@BobFertik) May 13, 2013

If you see Jay Carney at Safeway getting a gallon of ice cream, jar of Nutella, and five Redbox movies, just leave him alone.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 14, 2013

Buried lede in latest leak: IRS didn’t deny any conservative group’s 501c4 application. But it did deny a small liberal women’s group. Yay?

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) May 14, 2013

Sure, we still blame Bush. But we also blame you for NOT blaming Bush for worse versions of the exact things you’re blaming on Obama.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 14, 2013

So Dick Cheney and Scooter Libby were “whistleblowers” and “journalists” when they revealed the identity of Valerie Plame?

— M.S. Bellows, Jr. (@msbellows) May 14, 2013

It’s funny, isn’t it, how the first 9/11 doesn’t count.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) May 14, 2013

So now we know: the biggest scandal of 2013 is STILL the GOP’s refusal to do the will of 90% of the people on background checks

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) May 14, 2013

There’s no shame in recusing yourself. It’s a normal, healthy part of life. I may be confused about what recusing is.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 14, 2013

#FlaggedForAudit Claiming the 20 million sperm you ejaculated while watching Sarah Palin give a speech on TV as “dependents”.#RichLowryonly

— TBogg (@tbogg) May 15, 2013

Interrogatories

Mother’s Day has just come and gone. How many of you still have living parents? For the orphans among us, what do you miss the most about either parent?

It’s National Buttermilk Biscuit Day. Do you make your own from scratch, use Bisquick, or break open one of those “cans”?

How long does it usually take you to get moving in the morning?

The Twitter Emitter

Christians say they’re being persecuted like there wasn’t a thing called the Inquisition.

— Ama Zing (@LaFemmeFlaneuse) May 11, 2013

I am perfect, omnipotent and all-knowing. Nevertheless, this world was the best I could do.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 11, 2013

78,000 people applied to go on a one-way trip to Mars. If they are all climate scientists, that should scare people.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 12, 2013

It turns out having no shame is a real advantage in politics.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 12, 2013

Wanted to be a politician ever since I was white and privileged.

— dan guterman (@danguterman) May 12, 2013

Having trouble controlling your anger or remembering you lost an election? Ask your doctor if #Benghazi is right for you.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 12, 2013

19 people shot at New Orleans Mother’s Day parade… NRA to call for a ban on Mother’s Day parades #nevertheguns

— United Liberals(@UnitedLiberals) May 13, 2013

#GOP2016Slogans Because marriage should only be allowed between a man and a breeding vessel earning 77 cents on the dollar

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) May 13, 2013

I guarantee every reporter who is outraged over 501c4 applications has never filed one. #PressCorpse #Punditiots

— Bob Fertik (@BobFertik) May 13, 2013

Area rabble rousers cry foul over scrutiny of demand for tax-exempt status, then complain about others’ “entitlements.”

— Duke (@DukeStJournal) May 13, 2013

Interrogatories

(Questions suggested by Melanie) Most of the holidays listed at the bottom of this diary aren’t real Congress-mandated holidays. What kind of holidays do you think the present Congress would propose? What holiday would you propose if you had that kind of power?

Speaking of those holidays, today is National Fruit Cocktail Day. Do you actually eat that flavorless, overly sweetened, canned fruit? Or did you think they meant Daiquiris?

Do you still have hope in mankind? If so, what is it that gives you that hope?

The Twitter Emitter

Has Heritage announced who is going to head up their Eugenics Department in the wake of Richwine’s resignation?thinkprogress.org/immigration/20…

— Justin Wolfers (@justinwolfers) May 10, 2013

Dear Conservatives: When you OUT A PROBLEM YOURSELF – its not called COVERUP, its called ACCOUNTABILITY, you know, the thing you asking for

— Pirate Wench (@PirateWench) May 11, 2013

I think Spring has sent a lookalike that knows the words but not the tune

— Ian McMillan (@IMcMillan) May 11, 2013

Lindsey Graham saw Hillary Clinton’s shadow, got scared and hid. Six more weeks of #benghazi hearings.

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) May 12, 2013

The voices in Michele Bachmann’s head would like you to know that “she doesn’t speak for all of us.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 12, 2013

If you believe in astrology, your charts indicate you were born yesterday.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 12, 2013

Think John McCain misreads the Second Amendment as the “right to arm any country that has rebels.”

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 12, 2013

Rick Santorum: “It’s disappointing that Pope Francis did not include any embryos among the martyrs who became saints today.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 12, 2013

I hope the dragons got something nice for Khaleesi.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) May 12, 2013

“Apple pie tastes great” –> [interagency process] –> “Apple pie, barring allergies and similar to other pies, can be eaten in moderation.”

— Andrew Exum (@abumuqawama) May 12, 2013

By 2015 the House GOP will be considering impeaching Barack Obama for the crime of not yet having being impeached yet.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 12, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you have good diplomatic skills?

Do you care at all, in the present, about fashion?

Did you care about it at all in the past?

Are you a good swimmer? Do you enjoy it?

Are you a good judge of character? Do you think such things can be judged via the Internet?

The Twitter Emitter

“Happy Nat. Teacher Appreciation Week! We’ll let you know if you’re cut, demoted, or eliminated before Friday. Sincerely, Tom Corbett.”

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) May 9, 2013

The media is there so that we can despise something even more than Congress.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 9, 2013

Being from Iowa gives Chuck Grassley a unique perspective on immigration.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 9, 2013

I’m instituting a paywall to keep Politico away from me. $8.99 a month or I don’t read an article.

— David Dayen (@ddayen) May 9, 2013

I live in Manhattan which means i have to go to Florida if I want to hear a New York accent.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 9, 2013

You know those bounce houses at street fairs? In TX they’re required to carry more liability insurance than the West Fertilizer plant had.

— Christopher Hayes (@chrislhayes) May 9, 2013

#Benghazi is similar to the climate crisis like so: whatever conservatives don’t understand is automatically assumed to be a hoax or coverup

— Bob Cesca (@bobcesca_go) May 9, 2013

Heritage Foundation President Jim DeMint denies allegations that the phrase “Heritage Foundation President Jim DeMint” is inherently racist

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) May 9, 2013

Every generation before and after me are horrible people who ruined the country.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) May 9, 2013

People opposed to same-sex marriages tend to be trapped in lame-sex marriages.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 9, 2013

I was quoted today in The Wall Street journal saying that pay walls are bad. I would share it, but it’s behind a pay wall. #truestory

— Hank Green (@hankgreen) May 10, 2013

I don’t understand the logic of thanking God for returning the kidnapped women and not blaming him for ignoring their pain for 10 years.

— Jean Esselink (@Uncucumbered) May 10, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever worked in an unsafe workplace? Were you able to do anything about it?

It’s National Lost Sock Memorial Day. This is what you get for taking off your socks yesterday on No Socks Day. Do you know where your socks are?

It’s National Train Day. Are you a train fan, and have you had any memorable train trips?

If it’s butterscotch, is it really a brownie?

The Twitter Emitter

If I had my druthers, I’d have someone explain to me what ‘druthers’ are.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) May 8, 2013

Why do news orgs say Mark Sanford won “redemption”? He won a seat in congress. Redemption is something else.

— Scott Simon (@nprscottsimon) May 8, 2013

.@meghanmccain “When a woman sleeps around, she’s a slut. When a man sleeps around, elect him to Congress.” -RaisingOneBrow #SouthCarolina

— Highly scatological (@RaisingOneBrow) May 8, 2013

This #benghazi information is explosive new information for people who have never seen a newspaper before

— United Liberals(@UnitedLiberals) May 8, 2013

It’s very clear that if we had a black Dem president on 9/11/2001 the GOP would have impeached the president w/in days of the tragic event.

— SportsGirl101 (@Arianna8927) May 8, 2013

This is all going to lead back to Whitewater. You can just feel it. #BENGHAZI

— Kaili Joy Gray (@KailiJoy) May 8, 2013

I will follow you around sometimes because I don’t feel you should be left unsupervised.

— The Fucking Cat(@TheFuckingCat) May 8, 2013

The same people who criticize #CharlesRamsey for not being polished enough are the same damn suckas who wouldnt do what he did for the girls

— Arrogant Demon (@ArrogantDemon) May 8, 2013

Scientists still can’t decide if insane people own multiple cats or if owning multiple cats makes people insane.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 8, 2013

So remember, America, before you do a good deed: do you want your past mistakes to be national news? Play it safe. Do nothing.

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) May 8, 2013

Interrogatories

Today’s holidays include National Coconut Cream Pie day and No Socks day. Do you like coconut cream pie, and if not, what is your preferred cream pie?

What color of socks aren’t you wearing today? Do they match?

Do they even have school nurses anymore? Do you appreciate yours?

Does your mental age match your physical age? At what age level does your sense of humor reside?

The Twitter Emitter

Maybe if all those female soldiers who were assaulted had a gun they would… #Nevermind

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) May 7, 2013

Stocks are at record highs. Home prices are rising. Unemployment’s dropping. Clearly, Obama has no idea how to run the country.

— Donald J. Drumpf (@RealDonalDrumpf) May 7, 2013

NASDAQ may be preparing to use chemical weapons.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) May 7, 2013

BREAKING: US and Russian announce they will pressure Syrian regime “to make peaceful regime change in strongly-worded email.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 7, 2013

Any president has to be held up to public scrutiny and have their actions questioned. But the hate and racism are not part of the deal…

— GStuedler (@GStuedler) May 7, 2013

Dow closes above 15K for the first time ever – all under the watchful eye of President Bush…I mean, Obama, that socialist Kenyan.

— Highly scatological (@RaisingOneBrow) May 7, 2013

I was getting annoyed with whoever made their phone’s notification sound birds chirping until I realized that we had opened up the windows.

— a brantley (@mr_brantley) May 7, 2013

A fart is just the contented sigh of a well-fed soul. #DailyAffirmationTweet

— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) May 7, 2013

Pssst – Mark Sanford just sneaked out of South Carolina to visit another election.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 7, 2013

UM: How many hearings did House Republicans hold on the bad intelligence that led to the Iraq War and 4,487 dead soldiers?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 7, 2013

The Michigan GOP believes in smaller government the way your dealer prefers selling dime bags. detroitnews.com/article/201305…

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) May 7, 2013

Mark Sanford hopes you did not #VoteColbertBusch today, as he needs the Congressional expense account for his honeymoon.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 7, 2013

Remember when press wanted every detail of Hillary Clinton’s medical records? Christie has secret surgery under fake name & he’s a hero.

— Teresa(@TeresaKopec) May 7, 2013

Interrogatories

For National Teacher’s Day, what teacher(s) did you have that made you interested in something that you thought you could never be interested in?

For Roast Leg of Lamb day, how do you like your leg of lamb? (Vegetarians may skip this question or describe their ideal salad.) 😉

Do you like getting dressed up, or are you happier in casual? What does your work require?

Do you think Pluto was treated unfairly and deserves to be a planet?

The Twitter Emitter

I can see how typing the word “prolly” instead of “probably” is a huge time saver. Much like the cotton gin.

— Steve Carell (@SteveCarell) April 29, 2013

So you’re going to be the first troop into Syria, right @lindseygrahamsc ? You could probably start your invasion now and we’ll catch up.

— Karl (@JerryMander) May 6, 2013

That awkward moment when Eric Cantor pledges to have another vote to repeal Obamacare and no one can remember if it’s the 38th or 39th.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 6, 2013

Oh by the way, America, while they have you focused on Benghazi, Congress is trying to take away your overtime pay.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) May 6, 2013

Lesson of the day: the only thing standing between you and fabulous wealth is a truly inventive conspiracy theory.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) May 6, 2013

Remember when the GOP attacked Bush when 60 were killed in embassy/consulate attacks btw 2002-08 pre-#Benghazi?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) May 6, 2013

“Pope threatens to excommunicate Irish PM for promoting abortion legislation.” WHERE ARE THE EXCOMMUNICATIONS FOR PEDOPHILE PRIESTS?!

— God (@TheGoodGodAbove) May 6, 2013

#ThatAwkwardMoment when Republicans argue that 15 is too young to get contraception then give a 5-year-old a gun

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) May 6, 2013

It’s not too late. Reading one good book can erase the damage of ten reality shows.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) May 7, 2013

Patina makes things more expensive, unless you’re talking toenails.

— Andrew Gatto (@AndrewGatto) May 7, 2013

Interrogatories

Since today is International No Diet Day, if you could eat whatever you wanted all day long without any consequences (digestion, cholesterol, blood pressure, weight gain, etc.) what would you eat?

How good is your vision? If you wear glasses, do you like plastic or wire frames?

Have you ever broken any bones?

In college, were you a serious student who studied all the time, a party animal, or a reasonable combination of the the two?

The Twitter Emitter

Do parents who give their 5 yr olds guns keep matches out of their reach?

— GottaLaff (@GottaLaff) May 4, 2013

Can you 3D print a 3D printer?

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) May 4, 2013

Wouldn’t it be irresponsible to not speculate that Niall Ferguson has kids to avoid suspicion that he’s gay? #FergusonEthics

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) May 4, 2013

The Star Trek movie is a ‘reboot’. You know when you go fishing & think you’ve hooked a tasty fish but it turns out it’s an old boot? That.

— Adam Roberts (@arrroberts) May 4, 2013

Wayne LaPierre: “How many Bostonians wish they had a gun two weeks ago? With a gun, they would’ve been safe from the bomb blast.”#NRA

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) May 4, 2013

Paul Krugman’s economic beliefs are based on his heterosexuality.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) May 5, 2013

The U.S. must invade #Syria now. For the children. Who’ll die in the invasion

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) May 5, 2013

Your life isn’t really complete until you die.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) May 5, 2013

Why is it that the Government can pull off all these ingenius false flag operations, but can’t provide top of the line Obamaphones?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) May 4, 2013