Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Have you ever seen The Rolling Stones?

Are you a good photographer? Were you before the advent of digital photography?

Are you a fan of poetry? Do you write any?

It’s Collector Car Appreciation Day? Is there a particular vintage car that you appreciate?

The Twitter Emitter

I hope Harry Reid's tombstone reads: "It was worth dying to choke Mitch McConnell to death with my bare hands."

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) July 11, 2013

I'm excited about prospect of @SarahPalinUSA serving a 3 yr Senate term

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) July 11, 2013

North Carolina: keeping you safe from motorcycle abortions and sharia law since 2013

— Ari Berman (@AriBerman) July 11, 2013

If an adult man is following a teenage boy, stalking him, and he's not a priest…

— Shannyn Moore (@shannynmoore) July 11, 2013

Zimmerman told Hannity that him shooting #TrayvonMarton was God's plan, which was different from the police's plan of him staying in his car

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 11, 2013

I wonder what John Boehner's doing incompetently right now.

— Danforth France (@danforthfrance) July 11, 2013

Today's Senate debates are breaking records for unserious uses of the term "my friend"

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) July 11, 2013

Dear @nprnews When you say a bill "failed" in the US Senate, and it really was blocked by GOP filibuster, you are lying to your audience.

— rootless (@root_e) July 11, 2013

I don't know about "killing the Senate", but I'd like to see someone kill Senate access to mediocre clip art.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) July 11, 2013

"yo mama so fat not even the gop would vote against cloture on a nonbinding resolution acknowledging her fatness" #senateyomamajokes

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 11, 2013

BREAKING: House refuses to take up sharknado relief bill

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) July 11, 2013

I just got a front row parking space at Trader Joe's without even trying. The end is nigh.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) July 11, 2013

Fixing broken immigration system will cut debt by $1T, although we could just leave things broken and cut Food Stamps instead, says GOP

— Richard Hine (@richardhine) July 11, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever been to Mexico? Where did you go, and what did you think? Would you go now, with all the troubles?

Have you ever seen a show at the Hollywood Bowl?

Did you ever succumb to the lure of “designer” clothes?

It’s World Population Day – where does overpopulation rank on your list of important issues?

The Twitter Emitter

"I'm against gay marriage because the Bible says it's wrong," the divorced tattooed guy explained, as he munched on shrimp

— Asher (@asher_macleod) July 2, 2013

If Sarah Palin and Liz Cheney become Senators, that would finally explain why the Prometheus aliens were coming back to kill us.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 9, 2013

Big Fox News shakeup: blonde white lady will be replacing blonde white lady who is moving to other blonde white lady's old time slot.

— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) July 9, 2013

The sad part is Elizabeth Hasselbeck is still going to be the dumbest person on her new Fox show.

— problem with whack (@problemwthat) July 9, 2013

Texas defends their new vote ID bill, saying "We need this law, otherwise the next election might be stolen by voters."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 10, 2013

One way you could get George Zimmerman to testify is to have the 911 operator tell him not to.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 10, 2013

The only thing marijuana has made me aggressive toward is food. #ZimmermanTrial

— Eartha Tits (@coffeenated) July 10, 2013

President Obama awarded George Lucas the Medal of the Arts with a rousing speech followed by a prequel speech that completely ruined it.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) July 10, 2013

I can’t believe the stories on where Snowden should go have not compared the internet speeds.

— guan (@guan) July 10, 2013

Rep. Burgess (R-TX) again blocked light bulb standards. He fears they may involve rules against dim bulbs, which might force him 2 resign.

— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) July 10, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you have any favorite historical persons – ones you have read books about, watched films about?

What is the hottest temperature you have experienced? Was it dry or humid?

Have you ever watched any silent films? Do you appreciate them?

Ever been bit by a dead bee? Have you ever been stung by a bee at all?

The Twitter Emitter

Obama likes broccoli ARUGULA BARGLE

— Danielle (@DCPlod) July 9, 2013

obamacare? fine. cap + trade? fine. same sex marriage? fine. broccoli? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA, BARACK.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 9, 2013

for the record my favorite vegetable is A NICE STEAK.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 9, 2013

i didnt leave the democratic party, they embraced vegetables and left me.

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 9, 2013

This broccoli discussion is more proof that you could fire half the press corps at random and America would be fine

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) July 9, 2013

Darrell Issa will have House Committee hearing on when & where Obama was during #BroccoliGate

— Arrogant Demon (@ArrogantDemon) July 9, 2013

Even Teddy Roosevelt saw the threat vegetables could be. As he famously said, "speak softly and carry a carrot and stick."

— Danielle (@DCPlod) July 9, 2013

Awaiting the Rand Paul and Ted Cruz ads on cable demanding we ban broccoli because Obama is using it to control our minds.

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) July 9, 2013

.@ktumulty @emptywheel @MarkLeibovich Campaign Obama: "I love beer!" Reelected Obama: "I love broccoli!" WE'VE BEEN DUPED!

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) July 9, 2013

BREAKING: North Carolina legislature rushes to add a state-wide broccoli ban to its Sharia Law ban.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 9, 2013

Hope out of control oil well in Gulf doesn't distract us from regulating uteri.

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) July 9, 2013

Is Twitter full yet?

— JerryThomas (@JerryThomas) July 9, 2013

Things look good for the defense in the Zimmerman trial. Instead of definitely absolutely totally 100% guilty. He's now looking 100% guilty.

— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) July 9, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you play tennis? If so, are you good at it? Do you watch the championships on TV? Do you have a favorite player?

Have you ever been to a Grateful Dead concert?

Can you sew?

Is there any book that you decided to read after seeing a TV or film adaptation? (This question brought to you by Mervyn’s Peake’s birthday – the Gormenghast adaptation was great and the books are as well.)

It’s Barbara Cartland’s birthday. Are you a fan of the romance genre?

The Twitter Emitter

1776: "All men are created equal." 1865: "…& blacks." 1920: "…& women." 1924: "…& Indians." 2013: "…well, maybe not blacks…" #SCOTUS #VRA

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) July 4, 2013

It's time we retire the phrase "disgraced former politician."

— Ben White (@morningmoneyben) July 8, 2013

I'm only going to say this one more time. Twinkies also respond to electrical stimulation. Do they feel pain, too? #txlege #sb1

— businesssocks (@businesssocks) July 8, 2013

It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.

— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) July 8, 2013

Isn't riding Aeroflot punishment enough for Snowden?

— Kate Sheppard (@kate_sheppard) July 8, 2013

The days of crosses burning in the front yard are mostly gone. But the days of killing a black person w/o consequences has never left us.

— KB3 (@KimBrownTalks) July 8, 2013

I think it's a strategic mistake for Eliot Spitzer to staff his entire campaign with high-priced call girls. #nyc2013

— Ryan J. Davis (@RyanNewYork) July 8, 2013

Basically GZ is from cop connected family and under Confederate law he is licensed to kill.

— rootless (@root_e) July 8, 2013

Tomorrow's Zimmerman Defense Today: Trayvon Martin is actually Kenyan.

— Ethan Peretz (@MperiousRex) July 8, 2013

#zimmermantrial defense to introduce film,"Reefer Madness,"to prove Trayvon driven by reefer madness

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) July 8, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you know your Bacon Number (how many degrees of separation you are from him)? Use the handy link: http://oracleofbacon.org/ (you’ll have to enter someone you know or have met, or a friend of a friend, unless you have some Hollywood credits.)

Do you invest in the stock market at all?

What additions/subtractions to your neighborhood would make it a perfect place to live?

What’s for dinner tonight?

Do you enjoy speaking in front of a crowd, or does it make you nervous?

The Twitter Emitter

Ahh yes, my favorite 4th of July season game: Fireworks or gunfire?

— Byron Tau (@ByronTau) June 24, 2013

If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) July 1, 2013

Had a gerat 4th fo July. Kind f hrd 2 typ w 3 fnigers mssing

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) July 6, 2013

Anyone who says smoking pot made Trayvon violent has never poked pot….dude. #ZimmermanTrial

— Dave Ryan (@maddogg2463) July 6, 2013

Twitter is often the opportunity to talk directly with the guy muttering in the grocery store who you avoid later in the parking lot.

— Ethan Peretz (@MperiousRex) July 7, 2013

Why do guns have greater Constitutional protection in the US than women? #ERA

— Darcy Burner (@DarcyBurner) July 7, 2013

Ever notice that people who praise austerity always want it applied to someone else?

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) July 7, 2013

I hate it when the Dalai Lama gets all emptier-than-thou.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 7, 2013

If you have a right to your own opinion, then I have a right to tell you how stupid it is.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) July 7, 2013

I wish Twitter would verify Me. Hell, I wish ANYBODY would verify Me.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 7, 2013

The easiest way to get Rick Perry to leave women alone would be if Planned Parenthood were to rename its facilities "fertilizer plants"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 7, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever eaten Spam? Did you enjoy it?

Who would you like to have cloned?

Do you think Ken Lay is really dead?

It’s International Chicken Wing Day. What is your favorite kind? Buffalo? Thai Wing of Angel? Some other?

The Twitter Emitter

Sure they've banned smoking on flights but when will they ban Axe body spray? It's like sitting next to a hipster urinal cake.

— Richard Kadrey (@Richard_Kadrey) June 28, 2013

Can only imagine how sickening it is for families with everything at stake to see immigration covered through lens of electoral politics.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) June 28, 2013

Karl Rove says Morsi still has a chance. #egypt

— Mike Nellis (@MikeNellis) July 3, 2013

Bigger blow to radical Islam: #Morsi being overthrown in #Egypt or the N.C. Senate banning Shari'ah Law? #ncpol

— Mike Nellis (@MikeNellis) July 3, 2013

Today I stumbled across what appeared to be a prairie dog wedding. Dear God, Santorum was right. pic.twitter.com/NVCeN6iLpV

— Seth Masket (@smotus) June 30, 2013

Following a coup the Constitution has been suspended, according to people observing the North Carolina GOP

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 4, 2013

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.”

— Alan Colmes (@AlanColmes) July 4, 2013

Today I'm channeling my fatter self without the use of a Ouija Board.

— HumanityCritic (@HumanityCritic) July 4, 2013

If you are still using the term, "Post Racial" check yourself into a hospital. You are a danger to yourself and others. #TheEnd

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) July 4, 2013

#ThatAwkwardMoment when USA celebrates life, liberty and pursuit of happiness and GOP says that doesn't include women, gays and minorities

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 4, 2013

Happy 4th of July!

Interrogatories

Do you celebrate 4th of July? Do you hold your own celebration, or attend parties at friends’ houses, town events, block parties?

What kind of food do you have to have on 4th of July? Are you taking any dish to any cookouts? If so, what?

Do you like the fireworks? Do your pets?

The Twitter Emitter

my neighbor's practicing Layla on his guitar so if anyone can do a Kickstarter to raise my bail money may as well start now

— Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) June 29, 2013

Lance Armstrong is ruining things for every respectable drug user out there.

— José Covaco (@HoeZaay) June 29, 2013

I've read the whole of Twitter, from beginning to end, and have come to the conclusion that some people have too much time on their hands.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) July 1, 2013

Note to NC GOP: If you cannot pronounce 'obstetrics,' you should not be writing a bill regulating it. #CommonSense #HB695 #StandWithNCWomen

— Jaclyn Munson (@OnwardnFword) July 3, 2013

Did Morsi know about the Stand Your Ground Law?

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) July 3, 2013

While the nation celebrates, Mohammed Morsi is furiously unfriending all his generals on Facebook.

— juicymorsel (@juicymorsel) July 3, 2013

Keep seeing the phrase "Texas style abortion-restrictions." Because I like my abortion restrictions described in the same manner as my BBQ.

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) July 3, 2013

Firecrackers are a great way to show patriotism and scare the shit out of every dog in the neighborhood. America, I hear you barking.

— Joseph Scrimshaw (@JosephScrimshaw) July 3, 2013

Darmok and Jalad, Live at Budokhan.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) July 4, 2013

I find it rather curious that these legislators have such objection to Sharia law, given their implementation of the Christian version. #p2

— Joan (@LibertyBelleJ) July 3, 2013

Interrogatories

Who is your favorite Republican (living or dead)?

If Sarah Palin starts her own political party, what should she call it?

Have you ever been emancipated in any way?

What are the best beans? What is the best way to eat them?

The Twitter Emitter

Ok GOP lets make a deal. national voting registry with ID card, along with national gun registry with ID card. #VRA

— adept2u (@adept2u) June 29, 2013

.sıɥʇ ɹoɟ ʇsnɾ uʍop ǝpısdn ǝuoɥd ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ noʎ ǝpɐɯ I ʎɹɹos os ɯ'I

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) June 29, 2013

I must have a very good relationship with my wife, because she's never told me that I don't listen.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) June 30, 2013

TENNIS FACT: Tennis players are so superstitious that they only ever refer to Andy Murray as 'The Scottish Player.'

— Tom (@tdawks) July 1, 2013

DEAREST: My name is Edward Snowden and I weep to inform you I am trapped in Moscow's Airport. Please wire $1000 US to assist my plight.

— James Erwin (@jlerwin) July 2, 2013

"Forensic Artist Predicts What Royal Baby Will Look Like." It must be so hard for a forensic artist in a world without crime.

— Ben Greenman (@bengreenman) July 2, 2013

Sock puppets saying their secret identity has been slandered is like the Invisible Man complaining about paparazzi.

— Suzanne Munshower (@expatina) July 2, 2013

Hey, even if all the corporations drop her, Paula Deen can still be brought to you by the letter "N."

— Rob Kutner (@ApocalypseHow) July 2, 2013

Hell, a treadmill could be life threatening to George Zimmerman … doesn’t give him the right to kill someone who makes treadmills.

— Larry Madill (@larrymadill) July 2, 2013

My friend @jasontanz just invented the Schrodinger fact-check. As long as you don't open the magazine, the article is both true and false.

— Adam Rogers (@jetjocko) July 2, 2013

Edward Snowden will get asylum granted once he finds a world leader who doesn't have an embarrassing Internet porn history

— HAL 9000 (@HAL9000_) July 2, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever seen a UFO?

It’s National Anisette Day. Are you a lover or hater of licorice flavors?

Do you shop at Wal-Mart? Why?

Do you listen to the radio? If so, what do you listen to?

Two celebs are in the news for their recent slurs – Paula Deen for her racial slurs and Alec Baldwin for tweeting a homophobic slur. Do you think these two should be treated equally in the media and by the public? (h/t to Jim Beaver for the question)

The Twitter Emitter

Fetal Girlhood: Those precious 9 months when Repugs consider a woman to be a person and worth sacrificing anything for. #prochoice #sb5

— Liz (@childfreediva) June 27, 2013

I wonder if Pat Robertson masturbated as a fetus? #p2

— Joseph J. Santorsa (@Marnus3) June 28, 2013

If you measure your "Christianity" by the list of those you hate, you kinda missed the point.

— techweenie (@techweenie) June 29, 2013

Weird that Julian Assange and I spend the same amount of time in front of a computer and I find much better cat videos.

— Danforth France (@danforthfrance) June 29, 2013

NSA notices uptick in calls to wedding planners.

— Jesus Christ (@JesusOfNaz316) June 26, 2013

Remember, it's not perjury if you apologize after you get caught. That's how the law works, right?

— Julian Sanchez (@normative) July 1, 2013

I used to get confused by the term “hung jury”. I wondered how they knew if…nevermind.

— Ed (@dmvEd) July 1, 2013

Rick Perry: "We must stop illegal abortions like those performed by Gosnell by making all abortions illegal like those performed by Gosnell"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 2, 2013

I always judge good government on how much people scream about the legislation we pass.

— Jack Kimble (@RepJackKimble) July 2, 2013

The Pacific island state of Nauru confirms that Edwards Snowden has not sought asylum there, and admits to feeling left out.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) July 2, 2013

Edward Snowden now basically Russia's couch-surfing cousin who refuses to get his own place.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) July 1, 2013

Happy Monday, Bomberinos! Happy July! Happy birthday to my late older brother, Scott. Happy second half of the year!

Interrogatories

Are you now, or were you ever a smoker? If you are an ex-smoker, what prompted you to quit? How long did it take, and how long has it been?

How old were you when you saw your first adult themed (not porn) film in a theater?

What’s a belief that you hold that is out of the mainstream?

If you suddenly had a massive financial windfall, would you want to keep it secret, or let everyone know?

The Twitter Emitter

still boycotting the food network? when does the walmart boycott start? #pauladeen

— helen (@liberalchik) June 28, 2013

Now that immigration is all about the House, will people other than McCain and Graham appear on Sunday shows? HAHA kidding

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) June 28, 2013

Rick Perry could turn Gargamel blue.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) June 28, 2013

If being articulate/accomplished was the key to being treated like a human by Whites, folks wouldn't treat your POTUS like a Pullman Porter.

— Jamilah Lemieux (@JamilahLemieux) June 28, 2013

Can only imagine how sickening it is for families with everything at stake to see immigration covered through lens of electoral politics.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) June 28, 2013

Big Data, n.: the belief that any sufficiently large pile of shit contains a pony with probability approaching 1

— James Grimmelmann (@grimmelm) June 28, 2013

Walmart dumped Paula Deen, but continued to sell AR-15 assault rifles after Sandy Hook – interesting ethical credo.

— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) June 28, 2013

Trolls walk past #GoogleGlass wearers, whisper Image Search Goatse into the glass's mike

— mollycrabapple (@mollycrabapple) June 28, 2013

One thing we can all agree on: Never use Julian Assange as your travel agent.

— Robert Wright (@robertwrighter) June 29, 2013

Just so you know, I'm not the least bit ashamed that Wendy Davis is from TX.

— Natalie Maines (@1NatalieMaines) June 29, 2013

In Alec Baldwin's defense, he was just quoting Scalia's DOMA dissent.

— Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) June 29, 2013

Yes, Alec Baldwin is a dick. Yes, he is a Democrat. Of course, Ted Bundy was a Republican, if you really wanna play this game.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) June 29, 2013