Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

It’s bagelfest. How would you like your bagel?

Night of the Hunter¹ – Mitchum or DeNiro?

Name a food you are afraid to eat. Would you dare to try it today and report back here?

Do you like your siblings’ lovers and/or spouses? If no siblings, how about best friends?

What’s in your wallet?

¹ Renzo and bubbanomics have pointed out that I am confusing Cape Fear and Night of the Hunter. Night of the Hunter was only remade as a TV movie starring Dr. Kildare. I am leaving it up because Night of the Hunter is so fracking amazing that all of you should see it.

The Twitter Emitter

Snowden to be released from Moscow airport, given one hour head start, and hunted by shirtless Putin on horseback.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 24, 2013

New Fox News poll finds George Zimmerman is well positioned for the 2016 Republican primary pic.twitter.com/81RzF84U01

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) July 25, 2013

They say you'll find love in the unlikeliest places, but I've been in the Sahara for a week now and I'm not convinced. Also, SEND WATER!

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) July 25, 2013

One of the biggest problems in this country is that we've confused having an opinion with being knowledgable.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) July 25, 2013

Stop the name-calling, you drug mules.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) July 25, 2013

As long as Republicans are urging everyone not to buy insurance, we might as well urge everyone not to buy banking, either.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) July 25, 2013

Some people hit rock bottom and start looking for a shovel.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 25, 2013

Anthony Weiner publicly demands for John Edwards to stop sending him Thank-You Gifts.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 25, 2013

With the Voting Rights Act gone, Florida restarted their purge of possible non-citizen voters by eliminating all Latinos not named Rubio.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 25, 2013

With all of the Huma Abedin stories out there today, I am deeply disappointed that there is not one entitled: Oh, The Huma-nity!

— TBogg (@tbogg) July 25, 2013

Speaking of Moses, have you seen that guy's calves? 40 years in the desert!

— David Waldman (@KagroX) July 25, 2013

Interrogatories

How would you like your hot fudge sundae?

What’s your favorite carousel?

Who makes the best chili dogs?

When in your life have you ever had to wear a uniform? (School, work, teams, organizations?) Did you look good in your uniform?

If you played sports in school, what was your uniform number? Got pictures?

What’s better, electric or acoustic Dylan?

The Twitter Emitter

I had a #RoyalBaby once. Much more low-key. No reporters. No hospital. No sex.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 22, 2013

The people who think the world will end all at once will be largely responsible for it ending gradually.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) July 23, 2013

The prevalence of young black men among criminality ≠ the prevalence of criminality among young black men: http://t.co/h8VuUL1xeo

— Jamelle Bouie (@jbouie) July 23, 2013

I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

— Bill Murray (@BiIIMurray) July 23, 2013

Hey guys George Zimmerman just showed up to change my tire & unclog my toilet so now I feel differently about him murdering somebody.

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) July 23, 2013

Any reporter have Ken Cuccinelli's stand on cooties? Does he think they are communicable? Is he wearing gloves?

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 24, 2013

Your health experts love talking abt "lower mortality rates" … let me assure you, the mortality rate remains a steady 100%

— Henry Tudor (@KngHnryVIII) July 24, 2013

Michele Bachmann claims the NSA vaccine causes mental retardation.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) July 24, 2013

Everyone who votes against the Amash amendment will be punished with 100% access to Anthony Weiner's email.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) July 24, 2013

Obama said "If you think education is expensive, wait until you see how much ignorance costs." What a fool! Ignorance is free!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 24, 2013

Now I’m sure Justin Amash will direct his attention to preventing gov’t from invading women’s bodies. Oh, wait, never mind…

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) July 24, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you ever done any mountain climbing (not hiking)? If so, where?

Who is your favorite living comedian?  What’s your favorite routine?

Who is your favorite dead comedian? What’s your favorite routine?

Are you close to all of your cousins?

Do you have any relatives that you avoid at all costs?

The Twitter Emitter

As much as Geraldo is afraid of black guys in hoodies, I'm more afraid of shirtless Geraldos.

— Jamie Kilstein (@jamiekilstein) July 23, 2013

Skippy Russert complaining about the royal baby on the Cycle. Who would have thought he hated nepotism?

— Secular Humanist (@Reilly4Sanity) July 23, 2013

Just don't let me find out that Mark Sanford has taken up hiking again.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 23, 2013

The Muppets ending their Chik-fil-A deal proves there are hand puppets more evolved than USA's right-wing fake Christians.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 23, 2013

Carlos Danger Middleton-Windsor.

— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) July 23, 2013

Carlos Danger is an anagram for Roger Scandal, which is kind of what this is.

— Brent S. Sirota (@BrentSirota) July 23, 2013

A baby who'll be a fake monarch in 50 years and an ex-congressman who sexts. There's the news. Go back to sleep, America.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 23, 2013

little hard to knock Brits for their silly obsession w/the royal baby when America is transfixed by a man who tweeted a photo of his penis

— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) July 23, 2013

Makes sense: Everybody was making fun of Anthony Weiner's silly name so he changed it to Carlos Danger.

— Frank Conniff (@FrankConniff) July 23, 2013

@LOLGOP Racial issues in America are just a distraction, but Carlos Danger is serious business.

— Hoosegow Flask (@HoosegowFlask) July 23, 2013

Interrogatories

What do you like on your hot dog/smart dog?

What words would you like to ban?

Do you have a junk drawer? What’s in it?

Have you ever served on a jury? If yes, did you feel pressured to vote a certain way? Do you think the process was fair?

The Twitter Emitter

I hope that one day the royal baby and Blue Ivy will rap together about how rich they are.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) July 22, 2013

I HAVE BEEN REBORNNNNNNNNNNNNN

— Osama bin Laden (@OsamaInHell) July 22, 2013

I guess this is a bad moment to point out that we fought a revolution two centuries ago so we wouldn't have to care about moments like this.

— Karen Tumulty (@ktumulty) July 22, 2013

BREAKING: Royal baby to get tea party challenger.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 22, 2013

BREAKING! Fox News claims there's no such thing as "White Privilege" as they fawn all over the birth of the #RoyalBaby! #p2 #tcot

— Lucia (@LuvLuchia) July 22, 2013

PRO TIP: Y’all might want to get the whole birth certificate thing sorted. It could matter later on. #RoyalBaby

— Don Drennon (@dondrennon) July 22, 2013

Saliva slick engulfs central London. Several reporters swept away.

— GeorgeMonbiot (@GeorgeMonbiot) July 22, 2013

Still unclear if royal baby is going to give the monarchy a bounce ahead of the critical 2014 midterms, y'all

— Jason Linkins (@dceiver) July 22, 2013

Darryl Issa: "Dennis Farina was alive when Obama took office, so I'm calling hearings to investigate."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 22, 2013

Guess antis see the vagina like a car dealership: Once you drive off the lot, you start declining in value, esp. if you're female.

— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) July 22, 2013

Welcome to the world, Barack Hussein Mountbatten Windsor! #RoyalBaby

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 22, 2013

Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.

— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) July 23, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s National Fortune Cookie Day. What’s the best fortune you ever got? Give an example of the sort of fortunes you would put inside fortune cookies for your friends and family.

Do you think you could get a song stuck in other people’s heads? What song?

How far have you ever walked in one day?

Did you ever train an animal to do anything?

The Twitter Emitter

If we evolved from apes, why are there still creationists?

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) July 19, 2013

"When was Obama profiled?" — People who three years ago were demanding Obama show his papers

— AdamSerwer (@AdamSerwer) July 19, 2013

Calling Reagan a "small government conservative" is like calling Jerry Sandusky a good role model to children #TCOT #P2

— jimmy streich (@streicher187) July 20, 2013

The #GOP loves to remind you that #Lincoln freed the slaves-in part because it was the last time a #Republican helped out African Americans.

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) July 20, 2013

Hey everybody, a little space for GZim in this difficult time. After all, there's nothing more unnerving than being watched and followed.

— Bill Maher (@billmaher) July 20, 2013

Your daily reminder: people of color did not create racism, so ending it is not their job.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) July 21, 2013

Ernest Hemingway was born on this day in 1899. He would have composed some fantastic tweets.

— Josh Greenman (@joshgreenman) July 21, 2013

Seriously, why doesn't Texas just make it a crime for any woman of menstruating age to not be pregnant? #p2 #tcot

— Laura Goodwin (@ToolPackinMama) July 21, 2013

Nice guys don't confuse life with a contest.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) July 21, 2013

.@KenCuccinelli maybe if you tweeted a Geraldo-style selfie, you could end oral sex without involving the courts

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) July 21, 2013

interrogatories

Were you glued to the TV set when the moon landing happened?

Are you a supporter of the space program?

It’s National Daiquiri Day. Daiquiris, like margaritas, can come over ice, blended, or blended with fruit. How do you like your Daiquiri?

It’s the 110th anniversary of the first victory of Tour de France. Are you a regular viewer? If you watch it, is it for the skill involved, cute boys in spandex (h/t anotherdemocrat), or the scenery?

We had some discussion yesterday about great paintings we’ve seen in person. A few mentioned some great sculptures. So, same question about sculptures (any scale), what is the most awesome sculpture you have ever seen in person?

The Twitter Emitter

BREAKING: Edward Snowden has refused to grant asylum to George Zimmerman

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 15, 2013

@KennettDems @amanuesis How to annoy an Liberal: Lie to him. How to annoy a Conservative: Tell him the truth.

— Carmine Bello (@bellobass) July 14, 2013

Today in 1965, Mariner 4 sent back the first close-up photo of Mars, which clearly showed Santa Claus conquering the Martians.

— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) July 14, 2013

Angriest person over this verdict: Paula Deen, "Wait, I could have just shot one?!"

— Seth Herzog (@Thezog) July 15, 2013

Gating a community in Florida is like roping off a VIP section at McDonalds.

— As Seen At Home (@MykaFox) July 14, 2013

I just tried to make a call using my TV remote. And didn't notice why it wasn't working for a few moments.

— Aurora (@CitizenScreen) July 18, 2013

If only we elected Romney. Then we might be able to flip Detroit to China for a huge profit.

— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) July 18, 2013

Maybe if we harvested Tucker Carlson's organs he could be useful. Just a thought.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) July 18, 2013

A few views on the Rolling Stone Cover kerfuffle:

@lawrence As Black boys are portrayed as "thugs" simply for the skin they're in, unnerving to see a depraved killer/mutilator romanticized.

— Only4RM (@Only4RM) July 18, 2013

Americans have some pretty powerful assumptions about what terrorists look like – #RollingStone challenged that: http://t.co/tFyyme8gqq

— Emily L. Hauser (@emilylhauser) July 18, 2013

You shouldn't glamorize someone who kills kids by putting them on the cover of Rolling Stone. That's what The View's for.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 18, 2013

Interrogatories

What famous painting that you have actually stood in front of most impressed you?

It was published 88 years ago today. Have you ever read Mein Kampf?

Of all the literary birthdays today (Thackeray, Jessamyn West, Clifford Odets, Hunter S. Thompson), or those who died today (Alger, Austen) who have you read? Who did you like the best?

It’s National Caviar Day. What do you think of caviar?

The Twitter Emitter

I'd like just one #nra supporter to explain to me why they didn't express regret that Trayvon wasn't carrying a gun. #tcot

— Mrs. (W)right (@Wingnutte) July 15, 2013

Blacks/latinos/gays walking around in the open with AR-15's would be a "race riot" and there'd be swat teams from 9 states all over them.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) July 15, 2013

Jenny McCarthy to join The View as soon as she can prove all her shots are up to date

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 15, 2013

Sartre walks into a bar. The barman says, "Nothing."

— Paul Graham Raven (@PaulGrahamRaven) July 16, 2013

Liz Cheney promises that the Urban Testicle Electrification Administration will be privately managed and will not add to the size of guvmint

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) July 16, 2013

Wine leads to dancing. Dancing leads to sex. Sex leads to parenthood. Parenthood leads to wine. #CircleOfLife

— Henry Tudor (@KngHnryVIII) July 16, 2013

Don't we all play a huge role in our own deaths?

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) July 17, 2013

I like how Juror B37 just calls Zimmerman "George" as if they're old pals who use to go hunting black teenagers together.

— Matt Binder (@MattBinder) July 17, 2013

#JurorB37: "I don't believe newspapers. I don't believe TV. I don't believe radio. But I believe Georgie Zimmerman. He's really trustworthy"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 17, 2013

#TrayvonMartin had trace amounts of weed in his system, so he's a thug. Cory Monteith died of a heroin overdose & he's a tragic hero. I see.

— April (@ReignOfApril) July 17, 2013

Zimmerman had a jury of his peers. Ignorant and racist. Unfortunately, Trayvon was not allowed a jury of his peers.

— john miller (@deaconmill) July 17, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you been to any of the Disney theme parks? Which one, and how did you like it?

Who would you like to see tried before the International Criminal Court? (Not the present leader, please, this is a pie-free zone.)

How much do you miss Walter Cronkite? Huntley and Brinkley? Edward R. Murrow? Could any of them get a job on TV today?

What’s your favorite movie made before you were born?

The Twitter Emitter

When Eliot Spitzer talks about a "fall of Grace", I have to hold my tongue, lest I say "Was that her name"?

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) July 13, 2013

Things I've seen: GOPers standing in line for Chick-fil-A. Things I've never seen: GOPers standing in line to adopt unwanted babies.

— Gabe Ortíz (@TUSK81) July 13, 2013

My pet rock ran away…….again.

— hello (@baconacid) July 13, 2013

White neighbor checking temp after #Zimmerman stops me in drive, asks where I've been. Deadpan me: "Gunshopping." His reaction .. priceless

— MKSinSA (@mksinsa) July 16, 2013

That a lunatic Congresswoman with a closeted gay husband would want to spank the POTUS is dripping with delicious connotations.

— Devin (@devbost) July 16, 2013

It's so hot that most scientists believe Rush Limbaugh's heart will be ice-free by 2058.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 16, 2013

Today in 1872, Roald Amundsen was born. He was the first man to reach the South Pole, though somehow there was already a Starbucks there.

— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) July 16, 2013

(PHONE RINGS) WYOMING SEN. ENZI: "Hello?" "Mike? Dick Cheney. Say, how'd you like to go hunting?"

— West Wing Reports (@WestWingReport) July 16, 2013

Liz Cheney faces a classic challenge: How to present raw personal ambition as a principled break with her incumbent opponent.

— Ari Melber (@AriMelber) July 16, 2013

It’s kinda BS that Wyoming even gets to have Senators. There, I said it.

— Jamison Foser (@jamisonfoser) July 16, 2013

Wyoming will greet Liz Cheney as a liberator.

— sethdmichaels (@sethdmichaels) July 16, 2013

Liz Cheney has a busy schedule ahead of her, shaking hands and devouring the hearts of babies.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) July 16, 2013

Interrogatories

Have you been to Washington DC? If so, what was the best thing about it?

Have you been to San Diego? If so, what was the best thing about it?

How long has it been since you read “Catcher in the Rye?”

If JFK Jr. hadn’t died so tragically 14 years ago, do you think he would have eventually ended up in politics?

Are you you now or have you ever been a fan of Martha Stewart?

The Twitter Emitter

To assume that black people will respond to the Zimmerman verdict with violence is as racist as assuming that Trayvon Martin was suspicious.

— Keith Boykin (@keithboykin) July 14, 2013

Lets thank Florida for validating the "He snuck up on me when I was following him from behind" defense. #trayvonmartin“

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 14, 2013

#MSM: "We want our money back! We paid for a #riot!" RT @faraichideya: Today #TrayvonMartin peaceful rally, #NYC Union Square, 2pm.

— Eric Wolfson (@ericwolfson) July 14, 2013

For the last 24 hours, I swear the phrase "unforgivable blackness" has been ringing in the air at a pitch only black boys can hear.

— Saeed Jones (@theferocity) July 14, 2013

Fox News producers wondering what to run tonight since they spent all that time editing riot footage from 1992 and no riots have occurred.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) July 15, 2013

The election of a Black President means America is post-racial like the inclusion of a salad on its menu means McDonalds is healthy eats.

— Darrin Stephens (@TheSecondDarrin) July 15, 2013

When some tells you the justice system works, ask them who is it working for.

— eclecticbrotha (@eclecticbrotha) July 15, 2013

"I'm not Racist But….." gonna be the title of that Zimmerman's Juror's book

— Samuel L Dogson (@insanityreport) July 15, 2013

george zimmerman is lucky he didn't kill a white kid or everybody would have found out he's hispanic.

— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) July 15, 2013

Today George Zimmerman is joyfully celebrating his future. And that's just because Twinkies are back.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) July 15, 2013

REMINDER: "Blowing up the Senate" = "Allowing the president an up or down vote on his executive nominees"

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 15, 2013

Rick Perry: "I still have a story to tell for 2016. It's a story of intolerance, climate change denial and…shit, what's that other thing?"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) July 15, 2013

Interrogatories

On this day long ago, Alois Alzheimer got a certain disease named after him. Would you want a disease named after you, even as a scientist?

What disease or condition would you name after yourself? (For instance, Floja Roja’s disease would be where the sufferers eat the entire carton of ice cream straight out of the carton without stopping.)

Did your ancestors fight for the North, the South, or both?

Gummi candies: For or against?

When was the last time you were in the doghouse?

The Twitter Emitter

This was one of those weekends where the twitter stream was like a fire hose. Today it’s all Trayvon, with more tweets on Trayvon and other subjects in the comments:

The fundamental danger of an acquittal is not more riots, it is more George ZImmermans.

— jay smooth (@jsmooth995) July 13, 2013

RT @jawillie So to recap, we are now to the point where men with guns fear Black kids with Skittles and Women with TAMPONS.

— Kennett Area Dems (@KennettDems) July 13, 2013

So, now we’ll get several days of white guys lecturing us about how race had nothing to do with it. Yay.

— Dave (@D_v_E) July 14, 2013

Just a reminder that Justice John Roberts thinks racism in America is over.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) July 14, 2013

This isn't a Florida problem. This is an America problem.

— Carolyn Edgar (@carolynedgar) July 14, 2013

Remember, it's Racism Savings Time tonight. Don't forget to set your clock back 60 years before you go to bed.

— Mark Waid (@MarkWaid) July 14, 2013

Zimmerman's brother just said his family has to be worried about vigilantes. I will take definition of irony for 500 Alex.

— Richard Marincic (@RichMarincic) July 14, 2013

Adam Lanza kills 26 children = "a quiet boy, misunderstood". Travyon kills ZERO people = "a thug" Tell me this isn't about race.

— Ciji McBride (@ciji4obama) July 14, 2013

UPDATE: Apparently, that whole Thou Shalt Not Kill thing is optional in Florida.

— Disalmanac (@Disalmanac) July 14, 2013

go home, justice, you're drunk

— David Willis (@damnyouwillis) July 14, 2013