Motley Moose – Archive

Interrogatories

Did you go to your prom? Did you enjoy it? Who was your date, what did you wear, and what kind of music did they have? Was it a decorated gym, or one of the lavish ones that have become a thing in recent years?

Did you ever work the phones at a telethon or pledge drive? Know anyone who did? Ever call and pledge?

What is the first record or CD that you ever bought with your own money?

The Twitter Emitter

Cut food stamps to encourage work. Also, cut fire departments to encourage safety.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 19, 2013

As near as I can tell, current GOP civil war is about who can eat the most bugs in one sitting.

— Hunter (@HunterDK) September 19, 2013

Has the catchphrase "waste, fraud & abuse" become shorthand for, "I'm a heartless right-winger?"

— Mark Fiore (@MarkFiore) September 20, 2013

Repubs r so concerned abt fetal pain but never wonder what a hungry belly feels like.

— Tina (@trcfwtt) September 20, 2013

Hypothesis: The more the Pope moves to the center, the longer the GOP has to pee on the poor.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 20, 2013

Food is for closers.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 20, 2013

Properly butchered and frozen, Rush Limbaugh could feed a family of four for six months. #EatTheGOP

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) September 20, 2013

For those of you who keep Kosher, sorry, but all we have is Eric Cantor. #EatTheGOP

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) September 20, 2013

You're a Republican if you think the gov't should pay farmers to grow food that gov't shouldn't help struggling families to buy

— Dana Houle (@DanaHoule) September 20, 2013

I remember how the folks on food stamps cost our country trillions by selling bets on bad mortgages to suckers. Glad they're being punished!

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 20, 2013

In an effort to reduce spending, GOP insisting poor get off food stamps and use email instead.

— Derek Johnson (@derekjjohnson) September 20, 2013

Remember that time food stamp recipients spent trillions invading Iraq for no particular reason?

— Lucas O'Connor (@lucasoconnor) September 20, 2013

Pope Francis: "The Church has grown obsessed with abortion, gay marriage and contraception. I mean, who put Rick Santorum in charge?"

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 20, 2013

Interrogatories

Will you be celebrating National Talk Like a Pirate Day today?

Know any card tricks? Can you shuffle cards very well? Can you perform any other type of tricks?

Do you pray? Meditation? Chant? Swing chickens?

Do you make any attempt to remember/record your dreams? If so, do you try to interpret them? Do you remember any dreams from long ago? Have you ever had a recurring dream?

The Twitter Emitter

I overthink things. I think.

— Mr Roger Quimbly (@RogerQuimbly) September 15, 2013

Wonder how long Voyager will be in Interstellar space before returning as V'ger?

— Harry Knowles (@headgeek666) September 15, 2013

Sometimes I'll think, "How sad for Canada that Bryan Adams is their Springsteen," but then I remember I don't have health insurance.

— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) September 15, 2013

The most shocking thing about House GOP planning a DEFUND!!!! vote on Friday is their willingness to work on a Friday.

— Kaili Joy Gray (@KailiJoy) September 18, 2013

That awkward moment when the Wall St Journal has egged the Tea Party on and then realizes those motherfuckers are going to ruin the economy.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 18, 2013

There's nothing wrong with the United States that can't be cured by burning the #GOP to the ground and salting their fields.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) September 19, 2013

Ted Cruz is insanity's fluffer.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) September 19, 2013

GOP right now is like the National Geographic shrinking watering hole special. Everybody's very tense and oh look that guy got eaten.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 19, 2013

for a moment it occurred to me to go see what erick erickson had to say about things and then I just stabbed a pencil into my brain instead

— Atrios (@Atrios) September 19, 2013

Republicans don't care if they crash the U.S. economy. Their money is in the Cayman Islands.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 19, 2013

"Turn the other cheek"? No, I'm pretty sure Jesus said "give 'em the other barrel." That's why He created the 2nd Amendment.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 19, 2013

Interrogatories

Are you fond of jewelry? Do you (or spouse/partner) have any nice or interesting pieces?

Did any of your ancestors own slaves? Or conversely, were any slaves?

What is the most important or valuable thing you ever lost?

Have you ever lived through a serious drought? Did you ever have to ration water?

The Twitter Emitter

Laziness is a dish best served delivered.

— Aardvarizard Lv. 23 (@OddMarc) July 2, 2013

The ideal nation would take bluster from America, shrewdness from China, efficiency from Germany and dentists not from England.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) August 11, 2013

Really excited to see Twitter fit their IPO filing into 140 characters.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) September 13, 2013

Catholic leaders would have more credibility if they included pedophila on the list of Satan's works ahead of condoms http://t.co/KP4g6D3Nxb

— Richard Hine (@richardhine) September 15, 2013

I spent years being openly bicoastal but my parents always insisted I was just confused.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 15, 2013

Harkin says good news for Republicans voting repeatedly to repeal Obamacare is “obsessive-compulsive behavior is covered.” #steakfry

— Kathie Obradovich (@KObradovich) September 15, 2013

Limbaugh is actually attacking Michelle Obama on drinking more water? Wow, they took the bait, now, die of thirst, dont be hypocrites

— Intergalactic Tyrant (@ArrogantDemon) September 17, 2013

.@ArrogantDemon I understand Michelle Obama also advocates breathing air.

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) September 17, 2013

#TDSBreakingNews Iran shuts down Facebook and Twitter again. So Iran's revolution will be the first ever planned and executed on Grindr.

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) September 17, 2013

Sooner or later the wealthy take such a large piece of the pie that the poor are left with nothing to eat but the rich #p2 #tcot

— Terrell Lewis (@SgBz) September 15, 2013

Interrogatories

What are your favorite and least favorite constitutional amendments?

How good a typist are you? Do you have to look at the keys, or hunt and peck? Do you use all of your fingers?

Are you a good swimmer? Can you dive?

How is the view from your bedroom window? Kitchen? Living room?

The Twitter Emitter

Time elapsed between last televised insistence that mass shootings only happen in gun-free zones & the mass shooting at Navy Yard: 5 days.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) September 16, 2013

A shooting at a Navy Yard? Fucking Hell, there HAD to have been a LOT of good guys with guns milling around there…

— Gern Blandston (@GodIsDead) September 16, 2013

It's TOO SOON. TOO SOON for you to be mocking how conservatives politicize tragedies.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 16, 2013

And somewhere Wayne LaPierre revises the usual speech to explain how the NRA are the real victims #NavyYardShooting

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 16, 2013

Insane murderers' ability to kill as many people as possible was of foremost concern to our country's founders.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 16, 2013

Racism is as outdated as beauty pageants. #MissAmerica

— Hari Kondabolu (@harikondabolu) September 16, 2013

I'm upset at racists for making me remember that Miss America is still a thing.

— Jeff Fecke (@jkfecke) September 16, 2013

I am really disappointed in #MissAmerica. They don't let contestants wear white hooded robes in the Evening Wear competition.

— GOP Unplugged (@GOPunplugged) September 16, 2013

Miss New York crowned Miss America, though Donald Trump has raised questions about her birth certificate.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 16, 2013

*looks at picture of New Miss America…* Oh, That's what happened…

— Ms. Brooks™ (@TheREAL_MBrooks) September 16, 2013

Don Lemon gotta write his 5 Things the new Miss America must do to earn respect from racists who don't believe she's American

— Block Samson (@insanityreport) September 16, 2013

Interrogatories

Did you ever have a preference between GM and Ford?

What’s the weirdest thing you ever photocopied?

What was the most amazing meal you ever ate in a restaurant?

Do you visit your local library? Any other libraries? Do you avail yourself to library services beyond borrowing books?

The Twitter Emitter

Summers turn to Fall #badumching

— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) September 15, 2013

BREAKING: UNFOLDING EVENT UNEXPECTEDLY FAILS TO FOLLOW JOURNALISTS' EXPECTATIONS, JOURNALISTS REPORT

— Adam Weinstein (@AdamWeinstein) September 15, 2013

New York Jets Sign Larry Summers As New Starting Quarterback

— Matt Ford (@HemlockMartinis) September 15, 2013

Someone clearly told Summers winter is coming.

— Danielle (@DCPlod) September 15, 2013

PUTIN FOR FED

— Ezra Klein (@ezraklein) September 15, 2013

Obama just nominated Ben Affleck to chair the Federal Reserve. Happy now?

— Mark Harris (@MarkHarrisNYC) September 15, 2013

Harriet Miers for Fed chair.

— Brian Beutler (@brianbeutler) September 15, 2013

I don't want to say Ke$ha is the only candidate Obama should consider for Fed chair but she does have a dollar sign right there in her name.

— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) September 15, 2013

I'm sure Natl Sec Advisor Rice and Amb. Power are mad POTUS chose them for powerful positions instead of golf buddies pic.twitter.com/HbQKufWuAE

— Nerdy Wonka (@NerdyWonka) September 15, 2013

I have no idea what the Fed even actually does, but WTF, I know who should and shouldn't run the thing! #McTwitter

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) September 15, 2013

Miley Cyrus for Fed Chair, will use giant foam finger to provide forward guidance

— Josh Barro (@jbarro) September 15, 2013

Interrogatories

It’s International Chocolate Day. Do you prefer American chocolate, or something more International? What is your favorite chocolate?

Do you defy superstitions by doing those things that the superstitions warn against (walking under ladders, etc.)?

Remembering that it’s Think Positive Day, would you let your kids take over the kitchen? Have you done so in the past? If so, are your kids good in the kitchen? (If your kids are grownups, maybe the question would work better for grandkids.)

Are you or any close to you celiacs? If so, have you found any good products or recipes that are as tasty as the gluten-filled things?

The Twitter Emitter

John McCain plans to personally vet every rebel requesting arms in #Syria using his famous "terrorist gaydar."

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 12, 2013

Iowa just wants give Stevie Wonder more options for being arrested for being black. #ArmTheBlind

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) September 12, 2013

Dear Congress: please fund @NASA. It's worth it. I'm from the future, so I know what I'm talking about.

— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) September 12, 2013

My can of whupass has expired.

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 12, 2013

Twitter has filed for an IPO. It's very important that everyone keep tweeting great content during this important valuation period.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 12, 2013

Twitter is going public, which means your retweets are now all endorsements and your favorites still are useless. Thank you.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 12, 2013

Ted Cruz: "It's time to shut down the American government and let Putin run things for a while"

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 12, 2013

Vladimir #Putin couldn't find the moral high ground with a Sherpa.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 12, 2013

"Working in mysterious ways" is functionally indistinguishable from "fucking up".

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 12, 2013

The narrative last week: Romney was right about Russia being our greatest enemy! This week: Putin should be our leader!

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) September 12, 2013

Obama: "Hey Vlad, could also write an op-ed about why you and the Pope think universal healthcare's so great."

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 12, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you play any video games? Which ones? Are you any good at them?

What about smart phone apps? What fun and/or useful apps do you have on your phone?

Have you ever engaged in role playing games? Cosplay?

Are you now or have you ever been a Ren Faire person? If so, did you ever dress up?

Pet owners: After you have bid farewell to a pet, do you let the vet take care of them, have them cremated, or bring them home and bury them? Or something else?

The Twitter Emitter

From Putin's OKCupid profile: "I like trips along the Syrian beach, polonium dinners, and bears."

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) September 12, 2013

I'm saddened by Christians who see prayer more as a "weapon to destroy with" than as "medicine to heal with" or a "compass to steer with"

— D. B. (@RevDaniel) September 11, 2013

12 yrs ago, Saddam Hussein watched the World Trade Center fall and thought, "Thank God I had nothing I had nothing to do with this."

— Dana Gould (@DanaJGould) September 11, 2013

Patriarchy is survived by his children Widespread Rape & Abortion Restrictions. Send donations to Reddit in lieu of flowers #RIPpatriarchy

— Jessica Valenti (@JessicaValenti) September 11, 2013

All those 'christians' who burn Korans on 9/11 would be so much cuter if they did it with German accents.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) September 11, 2013

"We must stop using the language of force," Putin says, as he jails anyone who disagrees with him.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) September 12, 2013

Now we can expect NY Times op-eds by Mugabe on fair elections, Castro on free speech, & Kim Jong-un on prison reform. The Axis of Hypocrisy.

— Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) September 12, 2013

Now we can expect NY Times op-eds by Mugabe on fair elections, Castro on free speech, & Kim Jong-un on prison reform. The Axis of Hypocrisy.

— Garry Kasparov (@Kasparov63) September 12, 2013

Chris Stevens' father said it would be "abhorrent" to politicize his son's death. Unfortunately Tea Partiers don't know what that word means

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 12, 2013

I assume Putin's next column will be 500 words on the value of keeping your shirt on.

— Will McAvoy (@WillMcAvoyACN) September 12, 2013

BREAKING: George Zimmerman hired as spokesperson for Monsanto's new "kill with impunity" campaign http://t.co/4Jjse1isxh

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 12, 2013

Is it just me, or does 9/11 seem to come earlier and earlier every year?

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) September 12, 2013

America's motto: "Me, First."

— VC3 (@vcthree) September 12, 2013

We could have had a vice president who understood the threat of Russia from her days as governor of Alaska. You blew it, America.

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) September 12, 2013

If your'e so eager to criticize someone that you're willing to praise whomever stands against them, regardless of background, reconsider.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) September 12, 2013

Interrogatories

Where were you when you heard about the planes hitting the towers?

How susceptible are you to link bait? Link bait is those links you find at the bottom or sides of some websites that try to lure you in with salacious headlines. (As an example, the site I am on now has “Senior Citizens Over 50 May Qualify to Get $20,500 this Year” and “Sandra Bullock’s Leather Outfit is Still Bringing the Heat” as examples. Wait – 50 is senior????)

Have you ever walked out of a movie before? Which one(s)?

It’s Make Your Bed Day. Do you make your bed every day?

The Twitter Emitter

Journos keep asking if Obama made the case. Case for what — giving diplo solution a chance? Is anyone against destroying chem arsenal?

— roadkillrefugee (@rkref) September 11, 2013

CNN is now going to Rand Paul for the expert opinion of a self certified eye doctor on world politics and law. #Syria

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 11, 2013

Rand Paul essentially saying he would have done exactly what Obama did only better

— Jeremy Holden (@JerAHolden) September 11, 2013

At the moment you are getting everything you want except the unicorn. But please, feel free to enumerate your complaints. :::toddles off:::

— Cara Lynch (@caradox) September 11, 2013

Donald Rumsfeld: "I still say we had better lies when we went to war."

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 11, 2013

"Flaccid Turnout for Anthony Weiner" — You're welcome, New York Post!

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 11, 2013

It's too bad Obama doesn't have a Grenada or Panama to show how to use humanitarian military strikes.

— The Rude Pundit (@rudepundit) September 11, 2013

"We can't be the world's policemen. Instead, think of us as the world's hall monitors."

— Miles Kahn (@mileskahn) September 11, 2013

The people who said we would be welcomed as liberators in Iraq are busy calling Obama naive.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) September 10, 2013

You should be grateful you live in a country that allows free speech. So be quiet.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 9, 2013

Only threat of military action can stop Crossfire now.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 9, 2013

Breaking Bad spoiler alert – Dying Walt tells Hank everything he knows about link between Portuguese water dogs and #Benghazi

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) September 9, 2013

I still say we should plant a gun-control bill in Assad's sock drawer and then turn Wayne LaPierre loose.

— Bill Harnsberger (@BillinPortland) September 11, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you take supplements (other than vitamins) for your health? Do you use any homeopathic remedies? Are there any that you swear by?

What other tabs are open in your browser right now?

Do you have a lot of favorites/bookmarks in your browser? Are they well-organized? Outside of politics, what kinds of things do you bookmark?

Can you sew? Without a machine?

The Twitter Emitter

I never said I didn't make mistakes. I said they were your fault.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 4, 2013

GOP is suddenly against war. We must save our weapons & energy for the war on food stamps here at home!!!!!

— Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) September 6, 2013

Over 2 million adults are incarcerated in America. In addition, hundreds of thousands of idiots watch them on Lockup.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 8, 2013

What's more absurd: Anthony Weiner saying on Meet the Press he's "convinced" he'll be the next mayor or the fact he was on Meet the Press.

— Andrew Kaczynski (@BuzzFeedAndrew) September 8, 2013

it never gets old….DC pundits: why won't Obama LEAD? vs DC pundits: why is Obama trying to lead on Syria???

— Eric Boehlert (@EricBoehlert) September 8, 2013

media went from "why aren't you doing anything?!" to "bombing Syria is a horrible idea!" overnight

— Fleet Admiral Josh (@fleetadmiralj) September 9, 2013

To be fair to George Zimmerman, his wife's Skittles and Arizona Iced Tea addiction was starting to get out of hand.

— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) September 9, 2013

For the record, it's WAY too hot to wear a hoodie around here today. So there goes THAT excuse for George.

— Jeff (@JT__Orlando) September 9, 2013

BREAKING: NRA applauds whatever it is George Zimmerman did with a gun

— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) September 9, 2013

Republicans: George Zimmerman has the authority to strike even if he loses a house vote.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 9, 2013

Zimmerman was simply trying to get his wife and in-laws to tell the truth about #Benghazi

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) September 9, 2013

BREAKING: Harry Reid to delay Senate vote on Syria to give Fox News more time to air wild conspiracy theories and character assassinations.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) September 9, 2013

Interrogatories

Are there wonderful weirdos in your life? Who are they?

If you could change places with your boss, what changes would you make in the workplace?

Did you have plush toys that you loved as a child? Were you as close to yours as Calvin was to Hobbes? (Was there ever a better comic strip?)

It’s “I Love Food Day.” Is there any food that you never, ever tire of?

What bad habit do you have that you wish you didn’t?

The Twitter Emitter

Ah, humanity. I give you rainbows, but you prefer Fifty Shades of Grey.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 2, 2013

America, we may have finally found a way to keep Congress from voting for wars: always have a black, Democratic president.

— Ethan Peretz (@MperiousRex) September 4, 2013

Donald Rumsfeld: "If I were Commander-in-Chief, I'd invade Syria, chase Assad into a cave, then let him escape. Then give Halliburton $85B"

— Janet (@janet_sistare) September 5, 2013

If your feminism promotes bodily autonomy and abortion rights but ignores the reproductive rights of trans* people, it will fail.

— Lauren Rankin (@laurenarankin) September 5, 2013

If your feminism defends Miley Cyrus' right to be sexual but doesn't criticize her for her racist use of black women as props, it will fail.

— Lauren Rankin (@laurenarankin) September 5, 2013

I'm introducing my LinkedIn to my Klout so that they can go off together and leave me alone.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) September 5, 2013

Are conservatives going to raise money to help George ZImmerman pay his divorce legal bills? I mean, we can assume he's not at fault.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 5, 2013

Taking action doesn't make us the world's police, it makes us not Kitty Genovese's neighbors.

— Tommy Christopher (@tommyxtopher) September 6, 2013

BREAKING: U.S. Capitol Building throws John Kerry's war medals back at him.

— Michael Moore (@MMFlint) September 6, 2013

I thought it was impressive when Obama turned Republicans against golf. But now he's even turned them against war.

— Molly Ball (@mollyesque) September 6, 2013

Obamacare may extend the life of even your most annoying family members, warn Republicans

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) September 8, 2013