Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

An Adept’s Tribute to Cory Booker…

Newark Mayor Cory Booker called it his “come to Jesus moment” when he ran into a burning building to save a neighbor’s life.

Booker arrived home last night to discover his next-door neighbor’s house on fire, and rescued a young woman trapped upstairs by carrying here through the flames, suffering second-degree burns in the process.

I think we’ve all heard about the heroic actions of Mayor Booker and how Twitter erupted in admiration.  I had so much fun constructing Cory Booker stories I thought I’d collect and share them.  Feel free to add any you thought were funny.

When Cory Booker goes on Fox they tell the truth

When Cory Booker visited the planet Pandora the inhabitants put on Cory Booker avatars

The world standard for a meter is taken from a cast of the manly girth of Cory Bookers di…ameter

Booker was given A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time he put the gun’s eye out

When Skynet became aware it heard of Cory Booker and killed itself

Upon meeting Cory Booker Mr. Spock wept with joy

Muhammad Ali called Cory Booker a bad man

Cory Booker can’t enjoy Mardi Gras for all the naked women throwing beads and trinkets at him

Michael Jackson learned to moonwalk by watching Cory Booker sleepwalk

Cory Booker can tell cats to sit and they do it every time

It has been foretold the only way the Cubs will ever win the world series is if Chicago elects Cory Booker

Ann Romney left the house and went to work because she heard Cory Booker was going to be her supervisor

When Cory Booker was born and the Doctor spanked his bum Cory beat him about the head and shoulders until he apologized

Cory Booker told Prince he looked better in purple

Miss Piggy left Kermit to be a groupie for Cory Booker

Cory Booker once expelled gas in the Sea of Japan…. Godzilla emerged

Cory Booker must be careful when he weeps as his tears have the same characteristics as Alien Blood

When Newt Gingrich went to build his moon base he found Cory Booker had already opened a Disneyworld

Satan lost his soul in a Texas Hold’em game to Cory Booker, Booker was holding a Jack Two

Cory Booker has no need for money his smile is legal tender

Cory Booker gave Stevie Wonder his first harmonica

The Scylla and Charybdis are trapped between Cory Booker

When they opened Pandora’s Box Cory Booker was in there playing spades

During forest fire season Cory Booker is hired by western states to spit out of airplanes

Cory Booker was found to be better than true love AND an MLT where the mutton is nice and lean

Cory Booker was forced to fight Miyamoto Musashi in honorable combat..Decapitated him with a Popsicle stick

Mace Windu was Padawan to Cory Booker

Cory Booker once swam the Atlantic and was tragically sideswiped by a ship. #RIPHMSTitanic

When Cory Booker visits Africa he must be mindful not to wave in concern for the hurricanes that would certainly spawn

Stephen Hawking once received a kiss on the forehead from Cory Booker and awoke knowing calculus

When discussing Cory Booker Shaft shuts his mouth

When Cory Booker’s doctor lifts his testicles to check for a hernia he has to use a forklift

When Cory Booker appears to jump in the air it is actually the earth fleeing his approach

The power of Cory Booker’s will fuels Green Lanterns in 3 full galaxies

Cory Booker once fell out of a 10 story building and broke the earth’s leg

When spoken through the Weirding module the name Cory Booker kills. #KwisatzHaderach

I heard as a child Cory Booker urinated in an S-10 pickup truck. That vehicle is now Optimus Prime  


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