And perhaps a bit of non-serious liveblogging. Who’s ready to giggle?
My pitiful account of Palin’s pathetic performance is below the fold. But here, for your viewing displeasure, we have Gov. Palin wearing an animal in the creepiest environment imaginable:
I take it back. Clowns are creepier. This pic would be scarier if she were surrounded by clowns.
9:29 Palin’s having fun! Yay, wants more debates! Anyone got any hemlock for me?? They’re gonna fight for America! She knows joys, challenges, hurts, blah. blah. blah. Quoting Reagan. Wonder how long she’s been waiting to whip out that
turd gem. Only McCain has fought for us. Yeah, we know. Biden: “This is the most important election you’ve ever voted in your entire life.” Says there’s a need for fundamental change. He and Barack don’t measure progress on that change based on how well CEOs are doing, etc. They measure progress and success on whether people can afford to send their kids to college, vets are guaranteed the best healthcare and education possible. Biden says god bless us all. WTF? He’s a Democrat! I thought they were all godless. That’s what Ann Coulter told me. Damn libs.
9:27 Mod: “Bipartisanship, how do you change the tone as VIP?” Biden: says he has worked across the aisle, changed the minds of Democrats and Republicans. Palin: knows how to rhyme. “Walk” and “talk” rhyme — clever, clever.
9:26 Palin is still talking. Alas and alack. Says she hasn’t had to compromise on principle… please shut up.
9:23 Biden: “Let’s talk about ‘the maverick’ John McCain.” He’s tearing the talking point down, linking him to Bush, talking middle class, saying he hasn’t been a maverick “on the important, critical issues that affect people at that kitchen table.”
9:21…Whoa… Biden chokes up pretty bad, though he has good reason (still, Hillary would have been reamed for it).
9:19 Palin says “it’s a good team, it’s a good ticket.” Whatever. Stupid catchphrases. Is it over yet? Says she shares McCain’s worldview. Is that the “McCain Doctrine”?
9:16Biden: “Vice President Cheney has been the most dangerous vice president we’ve had in American history.” NICE. Biden says Cheney has stepped out of his role, over the line. “The Constitution is explicit, the only authority the VP has from a legislative standpoint is the vote. . .” Says that the idea that he has a part in the legislative branch is something invented by Cheney to aggrandize the post. Palin wants Cheney-power, you can tell just looking at her.
9:15 Biden on NCLB: “The money was left behind.” Hell yes it was. Evil law.
9:12 Biden: “Walk in me with my neighborhood.” Talks about the way the middle class has hurt under Bush, how only the wealthy have prospered. Always best to link it back to that. Palin: “Oh say it ain’t so Joe, there you go pointing backwards again, looking back at the Bush administration, Now doggonnit!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh the hilarity! Palin’s offering extra credit to some brats in some school, I dunno what she’s even talking about. The humanity. Sorry, I can’t type for a second — side hurts. (Admits it was a “lame attempt at a joke” — and yet, lulz were had!)
9:08 Morbid (but relevant, especially considering McCain’s age) question from mod — what would each candidate do if his/her running mate were to become incapacitated. Biden promises to follow through on Barack’s policy. “In essence, I agree with every major position he has suggested.” Palin: “Team of mavericks, what can you expect?!?” Insert Palin’s manic smile. She would “continue the good work he’s so committed to”. Yes. Like voting against bills to protect children, vets, troops… Right. That good work.
9:06 Biden: “The conduct of the war has been wrong from the outset.” Says McCain marched lockstep with Cheney. Palin: McCain knows what evil is, knows how to win a war. She sounds like a robot right now — choppy speech. Again, “he’ll know how to win a war.”
9:03 Palin: It’s so obvious I’m not familiar with Washington and the way you guys do things: ‘I was for it before I was against it’. Wow, apparently “Americans are cravin’ that straight talk!” Golly gee whiz! Holy patronizing pablum,
9:02 Biden: “The American public has a stomach for succcess.” Discussing Bosnia — “saved tens of thousands of lives . . . it worked”. Do you think Palin could find Bosnia on a map? Do you think she could spell it? Do you think her eyes are a little crossed under those glasses? I swear to god they are, look at old pictures of her.
8:58 Biden: Our commanding general in Afghanistan says a surge strategy won’t work. Says Barack reached across the aisle when he came to the Senate and said we have to do something about keeping nuclear weapons out of the hands of terrorists — put together legislation. Gets cut off. Palin: “Different conditions in that different country, and certainly conditions are different.” Genius. Won’t stop looking at her note cards. Do you think she has “Hello Kitty” stickers on them?
8:57 Oh god, another half hour? Even with the short answer segments, my ears are bleeding.
8:54 Biden: “Administration’s policies have been an abject failure.” Now Palin has to sort of defend it. Walking a fine line. Admits there have been huge blunders, “as there are with every administration.” Grinning like an ape — “reform of government is coming.” Of course it is, Palin. You’re going to outlaw evolution. No, not the teaching of it in classrooms — you’re going to outlaw evolution itself. In fact, we’re going to go backwards: we’ll all be Republicans soon enough. “Change is comin’!” ‘Course it is, just not from the lulz-meister and that walking Depends advertisement.
8:53 Palin pimping for votes with a Holocaust reference. Classy.
8:51 LOL, Biden brings it back to Spain — McCain don’t like them shifty Spaniards.
8:48 Raging moran can’t pronounce “nuclear” to save her life. She says she and McCain have a “passion for diplomacy” — LULZ!!!!!! “They hate America’s freedom, our democracy,” etc. Same GOP line as always. “Havin’ yer friends and yer allies ready ta back ya up there.” How does that happen when the entire international community hates you?? Answer that, seal-clubber.
8:45 Biden says the terrorists are in the hills of Pakistan and Iran — says McCain can’t let go of Iraq. Biden promises to go for bin Laden. Palin yapping about teh terr’ists in Iraq.
8:44 Biden and Palin going round and round about who voted against funding the troops. Palin trying to use Biden’s comments about Obama (from the primary) against him. Won’t work.
8:41 Palin accuses Obama of not funding the troops. Biden reminds everyone that McCain voted against funding the troops as well — because he wouldn’t support a timeline. Biden: “We will end this war, for John McCain there is no end in sight. . . . Fundamental difference: We. Will. End. This. War.” Palin says the Dems’ plan is a “white flag of surrender”. Palin asserts that victory is within sight. Evidence is where…?
8:38 **sigh** Biden can’t fully stand up for gay marriage. Well… we have an election to win. Someone’s going to be left behind. Always seems to be the same few groups, doesn’t it? He and Palin end up disagreeing far less than I’d hoped.
8:36 Biden standing up for the Constitution (crazy!), says he and Obama support making sure that committed couples in same sex marriages deserve all the privileges and rights of heterosexual couples. Now comes gay bashing from Palin. Insists she’s tolerant, has a “diverse family”. Doesn’t support defining marriage as anything but between one man and one woman. “Non-support for anything but a traditional definition of marriage.”
8:35 Palin says NUKULAR! Trying to make sure she and McCain get Dubya’s vote, I guess.
8:34 Biden says McCain has voted 20 times in the last decade against alternative energy sources. Tries to explain to the masses that it will take 10 years for any sort of offshore drilling to yield significant results. Palin: “Drill baby drill! People are hungry for domestic sources of energy to be tapped into!”
8:32 Suddenly she believes in “climate change”? Wait, did I miss this? Does she believe in evolution yet? She wants us to clean the planet. Yes, I’m sure she thinks we must cleanse it — of polar bears. Stephen Colbert might agree.
8:29 She has a lot of “crutch words” — “consider the fact” and similar phrases. She smiles too much. Says energy independence is the key to this nation’s future. Repeats that line twice. God knows why.
8:28 Palin lives on Main Street, apparently. She’s everyman/woman. Just one of us. A commoner. I feel one with her right now — like she truly knows me. Do you think she’d loan me that massive gun she was blasting polar bears with? Last time I checked, most people on Main St. don’t own one of those.
8:25 Biden’s trying to give an intelligent answer on the windfall profits tax. Why is he bothering? Palin stutters… stutters more. A bit more. Okay, she’s good now. Oh wait, no she’s stuttering again. Saying McCain called for reform. Interesting
8:22 Biden can’t even finish answering the questions because of the idiotic time limit they’ve imposed on him. Palin harping on the Bush/Cheney energy plan. Seems to be the only vote she and McCain can hold against Obama. Says she fought the oil companies. Forgot to mention the fact that she personally clubs baby seals and coats them in oily goodness.
8:20 Turn to CNN if you want to see viewer reactions — men vs. women tonight. Women like Biden more than men. Biden trying to explain the difference between redistribution of wealth and fairness. Palin looks on stupidly, a vacant expression on her face. Go figure. “Bridge to Nowhere” joke! Nice, Biden — audience LOL’s.
8:18 Palin proudly regurgitates GOP talking point #1: Big government = evil.
8:16 Biden reaffirming that 95% of the people in the US making less than $150,000 will get a tax break under Obama.
8:13 the usual stuttering from Palin. Oops, they cut her idiotic rambling off! Damn, too bad about those short answer segments, huh? She must be so disappointed.
8:11 Palin says we’re “hurtin'” cuz of the economy. But we have a “heckuva lotta” good lessons to learn. Lovely — appeal to the hick vote. “Darn right!” we need tax decreases. Biden goes straight to discussing deregulation. Says McCain called for more deregulation on 20 occasions in the past year. Yikes.
8:08 McSame/Failin’ — “mavericks”. Hah.
8:07 Biden’s got to keep this on McCain. Attacking Palin is going to lead to manufactured allegations of sexism or bullying. He’s well aware of it, I think.
8:05 And there goes the voice. Obnoxious doesn’t cover it. 90 minutes of this? Please ready whatever sharp objects you’ve chosen to puncture your eardrums with.