Motley Moose – Archive

Ramping up teh krazy once again, Minnesota token lunatic Representative Michele Bachmann (R-MN) has provided us with a slew of asinine creative catchphrases to laugh derisively at adopt for personal use. I think most of us would agree that there’s no one on the national scene quite like Bachmann. Sarah Palin is probably dumber, but that could be said when comparing her to pretty much any nationally known politician. So beating Palin out on brains (if only someone would actually beat their brains out — it wouldn’t take long) is really not much of an accomplishment on Bachmann’s part. But when it comes to pure, unfiltered, unadulterated KRAZY… Bachmann may indeed take the cake.

Always chock full of colorful comparisons and catchphrases, her public statements have ranged from the blindingly stupid to the undeniably creepy; from comparing the fight against health care to a “Superbowl of Freedom” to suggesting that we should all get together and “slit our wrists” in some sort of eerie anti-Obama, anti-health care, White supremacist ritual, Minnesota’s looniest politician has come up with some real doozies. Remarkably, she not only fails to see her commentary as the fierce, relentless hate- and fear-mongering that it is — she also sees herself as downright “lovable.” In fact, when asked why liberals hate her so, she exclaimed, “I don’t know. I’m a lovable little fuzz ball! I have no idea what they would have to fear.”

…

Seriously?

First of all, who says that? Even the likes of Hannah Montana and Barney the purple dinosaur have never said anything that insipid. The idea that any politician could win an election and still be called a “lovable little fuzzball” is pretty ludicrous. Fighting one’s way into public office pretty much eliminates any possibility of retaining one’s cuteness, if one could even have been said to be in possession of such a quality in the first place. But this statement is particularly ridiculous coming from Bachmann, who makes a point of demeaning and condemning her fellow citizens on a regular basis. From denouncing the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil gay agenda…

“It isn’t that some gay will get some rights. It’s that everyone else in our state will lose rights. For instance, parents will lose the right to protect and direct the upbringing of their children. Because our K-12 public school system, of which ninety per cent of all youth are in the public school system, they will be required to learn that homosexuality is normal, equal and perhaps you should try it. And that will occur immediately, that all schools will begin teaching homosexuality.”

— Michele Bachmann, appearing as guest on radio program “Prophetic Views Behind The News”, hosted by Jan Markell, KKMS 980-AM, March 6, 2004.

…to suggesting that we hunt down liberal members of Congress…

“What I would say is that the news media should do a penetrating expose and take a look. I wish they would. I wish the American media would take a great look at the views of the people in Congress and find out, are they pro-America or anti-America? I think the American people would love to see an expose like that.”

“I’m very concerned that [Obama] may have anti-American views.”

The Minnesota Independent

…Michele The Fuzzball has routinely made vicious utterances targeting American citizens of all stripes. And yet, how can us goshdarned un-American heathen libs really hate Bachmann when she’s offered to make out with our backstabbing, socialist, Muslim (and did I mention DARK?!?!) president?

But let me make another note here: No one is “afraid” of Bachmann herself, though some of us truly worry that her hateful rhetoric and scare tactics may incite unbalanced Rightwing nutjobs to violence. (“Unbalanced nutjob”? Redundant much?) The idea that she would honestly think that we fear her personally falls somewhere along the spectrum between amusing and disgusting. Even as she theorizes on our nonexistent gutless fear of her, she assures the world that she doesn’t fear us.

“I don’t fear the left, and maybe that’s part of the loathing that they feel toward me. I’m not afraid to speak out on conservative positions and on issues. We’re a deep-blue state, we’re a strong liberal, Democrat state.”

Talking Points Memo

Here’s an interesting development: When Congressional insiders were polled, our fuzzy little friend came out at the top of the list of shameful freakshows the GOP would like to muzzle.

Hotline On Call gives a sneak preview of National Journal’s new survey of beltway insiders on “the member they’d like most to shut up, the brightest thinkers and strategists in their parties and much more.” Topping the list of GOP voices these insiders would like to “mute” is Minnesota’s Rep. Michele Bachmann – but there’s a five-way tie. Eleven percent of Republicans polled would also like Fox’s Glenn Beck, Iowa Rep. Steve King, Sarah Palin and Georgia Rep. Tom Price to pipe down.

The Minnesota Independent

Gee, I can’t imagine why that would be… What’s embarrassing about Michele Bachmann? How could she hurt the GOP? Is it because she doesn’t think foreign citizens have a right to a fair trial? Or because she accuses Harry Reid of wanting to turn kids into compulsive gamblers? Maybe it’s ’cause she has suggested that African Americans routinely commit genocide against their fetuses? Who really knows?

Personally, I kind of hope she keeps talking. No one makes me prouder to be a liberal than Michele “Batshit” Bachmann.

Now please enjoy a video compiling some of the fuzzball’s greatest hits:

Christ. The lulz. My sides hurt.