Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

I Was Not Speeding (Thanks Governor Palin!)

Your honor, I think you will find — if you just peruse this report — that I was not speeding when the state trooper pulled me over.

Hmm… Who prepared this report? Well, I did of course.

Now, if you’ll just turn to page 2 you’ll find the general conclusion of the report: I am not guilty of speeding. On page 4 you’ll find the detailed diagrams demonstrating that if I was driving no more than 30 mph, I could not have been driving 40 mph when the officer pulled me over. And if you flip to page 7–

What’s that? My protestations of innocence don’t automatically me innocent?

I don’t understand.

It worked for Sarah Palin.

Palin pre-empts state report, clears self

ANCHORAGE, Alaska – Trying to head off a potentially embarrassing state ethics report on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, campaign officials released their own report Thursday that clears her of any wrongdoing.

Sen. John McCain’s running mate is the subject of a legislative investigation into whether she abused her power as governor by firing her public safety commissioner. The commissioner, Walter Monegan, says he was dismissed in July for resisting pressure from Palin’s husband, Todd Palin, and numerous top aides to fire state trooper Mike Wooten, Palin’s former brother-in-law.

The move came hours after the state Supreme Court refused to halt the ethics investigation.

Wouldn’t it be great to be Sarah Palin? To live in a lollipop land where what you say matters more than any of those annoying “facts” that the “media filter” and “legally appointed criminal investigators” keeps pestering you with?


  1. …there is a catch: you begin to lose sense of reality, and deceiving yourself is much more dangerous than deceiving others.

    The whole Palin Debacle is, I sense, coming to a head. Many of us saw all this when Palin was selected, but somehow the media razzmatazz managed to drown out the voices of real concern about Palin’s probity, let alone her competence. Chickens meet roost, methinks.

  2. “Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I would like to present this report I wrote that clearly shows that I am not guilty of the crimes I have been charged with.”

    Then I can skip out of the courtroom, lift myself up by my own petards and fly off into the sunset like Tinkerbell!


  3. NavyBlueWife

    So these investigations and subpoenas are part of the world that she has risen above…no one can touch her now that she has been anointed by her god…

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